Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

[july232007]

Good Morning Inn friends,

Up early for a run w/ a couple of running buddies on what looks like a cold wet morning. Still a hell of a lot better then a dry, doubt ridden hangover.

Before I head out the door I just wanted to say that I hope you all have a peaceful Sunday.

I am wishing you well as you work on your own AF goals.

July,

Day 122 AF

[rob]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Good Morning INNmates-Thanks to Max and July for getting us going this am. Had to flip a coin to decide where to put the house rules.

So here goes--

Good Sunday Morning from the INN for 30.

It is our tradition here to post the House Rules on Sunday and also to Shout Out our days of abstinance.

First the house rules:

Hello guests and welcome to the Inn for 30

The Inn for 30 is a gathering place for those who wish to remain AF (alcohol free) for 30 consecutive days.

Please come in and get comfortable, we have many rooms and encourage you to choose one that suits your tastes.

We do ask that all guests observe the house rules which are as follows:

1) All guests will respect, support and encourage each other during their stay.

2) While all guests are encouraged to enjoy the rumpus room, the padded walls are not meant to encourage head banging. If you are feeling really crazy or really craving, come here and talk to someone!!

3) Unfortunately, we have an unwanted inhabitant who occasionally slips up on unsuspecting guests. His name is Al-(coholic) If Al does happen to ?get you? (you have a slip) you will not be asked to leave. However, you will be sent to the Wreck Room a place where I?m sure you will not want to linger.

4) We have a fully equipped exercise room, but because your current proprietor is a lazy slug, I suggest that you get you read the booklets scattered about the room or ask someone who knows about that kind of stuff. The only ?exercise? we require of our guests is that you keep track of your AF days, any way you want.

5) Our nutritionist/cook is currently on leave for a gastric bypass so it?s pretty much up to you to get your own meals. However, we will have Sunday dinner together for our Sunday Shout Out where the rules will be reviewed for the newcomers and AF days will be posted.

6) Have Fun, Don?t Drink, No running or Diving around the Pool!!


Everyone Have a Great Sunday!! Attached files [img]/converted_files/374180=3698-attachment.gif[/img]

[go2goal]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Good Morning Innmates -

I hope everyone has survived the woo-ing by AL, aka, the Beast, and for me, Uncle Hall. He's always up to tricks - showing up uninvited, disguising himself as rest & peace for the weary....just waiting to hand out a big dose of shame to any who will give him a chance.

I am really enjoying inviting the encouragers into my life moments - thanks to so many of you for that.

Go SHOUT your successes and have another great AF day!!
Attached files [img]/converted_files/374204=2541-attachment.gif[/img]

[meditation mama]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Good morning, my friends!

I'm up with the birds. Had a restless nights sleep - I am sure becasue of that MASSIVE moon! It was so spectacular. I have the day off, so I plan to rest here at the INN and catch up with my freinds here.

Interestingly, last night I REALLY wnated to have a glass of wine. I mean it was a close one - I am so glad that we don't keep it in the house anymore. Anyway, I really looked into the craving and I ended up wanting something sweet to drink. So, I made a large glass of ice water and added a teaspoon of crystal light rasberry lemonade and my craving went away IMMEIDATELY! I am really glad I took the moment to stop and really look at what my body wanted, becasue I think my mind just went to wine out of habit. SO, it was a little turning point for me.

In the end, I was thinking.. I could take an l-glutamine, but then I thought.. why not have the craving and learn from it - don't hide it - We are suposed to be able to sit with the good and the bad. SO, instead of banishing those uncomfortable feelings, I will acknowledge it and have a glass of lemonade!

Enjoy THIS day!

Namaste,

MM

[slightlysuze]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Hi MM, Go2, Rob and July.....happy Sunday.....and to everyone to follow (where is you all??:upset: )

I quite enjoyed the party last night....just had a coke and enjoyed a bit of dancing. Couldn't really talk to anyone - the music was so loud, but it was fine. The BEST thing was being asked what I'd like to drink....feels so good to say 'something soft, please'......and really mean it!

Hope everyone is doing ok and that the quiet isn't because Al is tracking you down! Even if he has....check in here and we'll help you fight him off! (extra sticks in my handbag)

Love


Suze xxx

[meditation mama]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Congrats, Suze! That is definately a victory..

[rob]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Good afternoon INNmates!!

More shopping this am.

Suze- Glad you enjoyed your party. Dancing is always good.

MM- Enjoy your day off. Great insight and Happy day 25!!

G2G - I love your new sig. Desiderada is one of my favorite poems. You really are a child of the universe.

Could someone please explain to me what the deal is with men's jeans. I have two sons and a husband. Now my jeans are just size 12 or 14, no big deal--their jeans on the other hand--waist/inseam. relaxed fit/ boot cut/slim fit. OK the women do have to cop to the different fits but the waist/inseam thing? My middle son in particular-His wife told me three times, whatever you do don't get him the Levi's 505s! and not the 511s. I told her to write down the style numbers that he would wear and don't put any more numbers in my head!! Of course when I went shopping 505s were everywhere and the styles he wanted were scarce as hens teeth and not in his size.

My older son is not picky at all but he is size 30/34. Not easy to find.

Ok, enough whining.

Hope you all have a great evening.

Love and Peace
Rob

[paula]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Good evening innmates,
just checking, I'm so tired as I have been working all weekend.
Ihave managed af for quite some time now, so feeling very happy
Hope you are all doing ok.
Love Paula.xx

[Chief]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Hi All! Good Job on Beating The Beast...

MM, Way to be patient during that craving and not let The Beast trick you. You're getting better and better..

It's still a little quiet around here. Makes me nervous. Think I'll go on patrol and see what's lurking out there...

Have a good Monday everyone

Don

[Hannah]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

?lo Innies!

Ok, told you guys I would be on the boards this morning and I wasn?t - sorry, sorry, - we really slept in, then hubby nabbed the computer (Grrrr?), and then we went out for brunch - then ran around doing some more Christmas shopping - blah, blah, anyways, late, and if anyone checks back, yes, I was here!

Suze - Great expression - can I borrow it? ?Something soft please? -- How simple, confident, and concise. Implies that you just don?t CARE to drink, not that you have a problem with it, but at the moment you just don?t care to - fabulous. Good for you.

Hello Go2, MM, Rob. Hey Rob, you should try finding size 8 woman?s jeans in a 33 inch inseam. Now that?s a challenge! I have always envied these short woman who have to cut off some of the pant leg - hey, that?s easy - but it?s d*mn hard to tack some extra length on!!!

HiYa Paula. Good for you on your ?AF? ness!

And Chief, always good to have you on patrol.

Well, hubby has headed out on his business trip, just me and the Dawg. That is okay, and even relaxing, in short stretches. But am glad he is usually never away more than a week or so.

Well, good night friends, catch you tomorrow!

[meditation mama]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Where are are GUEST SERVICES - Rob & Hannah find them!!!

Whaaaaaaaaa.. I'm the whiney guest... I want all my stuff.. where are my shower slippers... my pillows need poofing... I need someone to run my bath full of rose petals... where is my personal shopper, I have a date.... :H :H :H

Oh, well.. I think that used to be me in a former life, really! I used to work for a Japanese Marketing company about 12 years ago, travelling for two years straight, and I was a spoiled brat!!! Who was that little girl!

I am now very content with a warm bath (drawn my me), a walk around the grounds, a place to sit and meditate and a nice firm matress, even if it is on the floor.

I am growing up...

MM

[indigosky]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Hello to everyone here at the Inn,
Today I am not sure how many days I've racked up so far but on December 4th I'll have 90
I had a really nice Thankgiving day and really enjoyed spending time with my neice and nephews. Trouble set in on black friday however. My mom and I got up at 5 am and did the early shopping deal which went fine until we got into a nasty fight over me asking her to put a pair of sneakers on her credit card since I was out of cash. She agreed to it and when I got to the register she just stood there waiting for me to pay. I told her I'd give her the cash as soon as I got some but it seems she didn't want to bulk up her credit card which is understandable. I had just made a payment on mine the day before and was trying to pay mine down so didn't want to run mine up either. I just wish she would have said no if she hadn't wanted to. Well it turned really nasty. She brought up my drinking over the years which was in the past and that caused me to bring up hers which was totally irrelevant....and lots of other nasty stuff. I packed up my stuff and got ready to leave when we got home.
My sister talked me out of it and to make a long story short I ended up staying for that night anyway. Then comes Saturday...the big blowup. My Mom is weaning herself off of Paxil and started off cold turkey. she wasn't feeling very well so was taking just one a day to come off slowly. All I can figure is that she must have been having some wild mood swings from it or something because last night she really flipped out on all of us for no reason. We were making dinner and singing and laughing...we ate and then were cleaning up. I was doing dishes and my sister was cleaning the kitchen. Mom went to take the trash out and apparently my sisters 4 year old made the mistake of telling my Mom not to slam the door when she goes out of the house. Oh my God....She totally let him have it when she came back in. She's like "this is my freaking house and I'm not having some little brat telling me not to slam my door in my damn house." I can't even remember everything else she said to him but she went on and on then she comes in the kitchen and grabs him by the arm and looks down at him and is yelling down at him and he's crying. Poor little guy is scared to death. My sister gets him. I go over to get something out of the cabinet and say "she needs to get on the right medicine or get better counciling" she walks up to me and asks what I think I know about it...and comes right up in my face. I walked away from her and she's yelling and throws a flashlight across the room at me, so I grabbed a pot of broccoli from the stove left from dinner and flung it at her(not the pot, just the cold broccoli) anyway then my sister busts in and asks if I'm going to throw the pot at her next and why am I atacking Mom. I said because she threw a flashlight at me and came up in my face like she was going to hit me. My sister said she didn't ask me to defend her and I told her that some people don't need to be asked to defend people they just do it because they care. You would understand if you knew our messed up relationship...she never defends me you see. I am the family scape goat and suddenly this whole incident of my mom flipping out on her son has turned in to being about me atackin my mom. At this point I've had it and I am heading for the bedroom to get my stuff. My sister follows me in there and gets in my face and my mom is yelling about me drinking my whole life and never finishing any of my rehabs because I always end up in the hospital which I tell her is a flat out lie. There is the pot calling the kettle black again!!! Why must she insist at this point of my sobriety to be bringing up my drinking past?? I never even knew her as a sober person until I was 19 and she is newly sober herself just recovering from a relapse a couple months ago. These people are maddening. Sorry to be going into such depth with this. I just really needed to vent badly. I left Kentucky at 9:30 last night and got home at 2:00 this afternoon...crying half the night away. I stopped at a couple of rest stops to take a half hour nap here and there and wrote down some of my thoughts in my notebook since it was all so fresh in my mind. In Tennessee,and Virginia all the convenience stores sell cases of beer and wine but they didn't even tempt me. I just thought to myself this is what the result of that crap gets us:upset: sooo I guess Abbey and I (my cat) will be having a quiet Christmas to ourselves. At least I got to drop off all the presents and left them a tree with all the trimming and lights. They even complained that they were concearned that I was manic(i have bi-polar disorder) because I bought to many presents and was too happy and having them listen to music on my mp-3 player that I had downloaded. I said I am just feeling better. Usually I am depressed and they said that is the way they are used to seeing me. I said geez..you guys don't like me when i'm sad or when I'm happy, how can I win? I am stable ...it's not like i'm running around in circles not sleeping, seeing things and all. Whatever. Families...what do you do with them?
Seriously though, My Mom and my sister are bonded and I am the outsider, that's just the way it is. My mom did pull a similar incident with my daughter when she was 2 though but it was worse and she never apologized to me for it. I forgive her for it but don't think I'll ever be able to forget it.
I better try to get some sleep. Don't remember when I slept last. Hope you all had a nice Thankgiving
Thanks for listening!!!:h

[Finding My Self]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Indogosky - boy oh boy oh boy.....I am so glad you have vented that lot...... you don't want to be carrying that around.....

It took me back to many a kitchen fight in my family home... irrational, emotional, painful and somewhere not to be..... I walked from many, many of those and now, as you so rightly say, having seenwhere they can lead, wont be going back for more.

And how I wish I had not gone back for more way back in my 20's.... I knew I 'shouldn't' but felt I 'ought' to (and of course, yes, they were family and I lvoed them).... things might have been very different - they might not of course but I think they would have been...I wasn't ever (and never was going to be) able to change things into being a happy family scenario; they aren't capable I don't think....but I wasted about 30 years trying and letting thethings I heard about me warp myself-belief....

Don't understimate what hearing things like that do to your very soul... we joke about 'Character Assassination' but actually it's much more serious than that....it's 'Soul Assassination'..... Step away. Fast. It's sad but you mustn't let your whole self be the bouncing block for their possible recovery but more likely wallowing.

"If somebody is imposing on you in away you don't like, then move. Feet are a wonderful gift. Aminals are lucky in that they have more feet than we do" (Stuart Wilde)

I wish you all the best....Abby sounds a far better bet! Look after you, nurture Indigosky and the little Indigosky inside that's hurting too... Leave them to find another scapegoat...use those feet!

Love and hugs FMS xxxx

[rob]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Indigo-Hearing this makes me so sad for you. It sounds as if you've made every effort to heal yourself but your family is stuck in their same old sickness. you did the best you could. At this all you can do is preserve your own dignity and sanity. You sould be proud of yourself for maintaining your sobriety!!

Love and Peace
Rob

[go2goal]

Sunday Nov. 25 at the INN

Wow Indigosky -

FSelf said it all pretty well - you don't want to carry that around. Crazy alcohol (&meds) can screw up the whole family - you need to find some 'normal' space for awhile. Normal may be a tricky word, but at least you need to be in a situation that isn't TOXIC uch:. That situation sounds TOXIC and you won't be able to make it better by yourself. There are too many dynamics setting it up for poisonous interactions - so it sounds. And it sounds familiar - my family was guided by alcohol and all the behaviors that tried to make that sane. The fights, who's better than who, the irrational moments....all to no avail. I had to get healthy and that meant I had to leave all that behind. It is very very hard, but easy when the irrational gets so obvious, and that only happens when you get clear.

It sounds like you have managed the Beast AL through some really harsh situations, so you can do it! If you have a therapist available, perhaps that could help you Re-frame the situation so it doesn't drag you down in.

Hang in there and good job for not giving in to a tricky situation,

Go2Goal