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[go2goal]

Help, why am I doing this?

Having a rough nite, guys, and not sure why. I woke up so strong, and I don't fear pouring a drink tonite, but I am feeling strong feelings that would normally have many glasses of wine gone by now. Its 21 days AF and this is the hardest, or at least its the most difficult mood I've had yet. I don't want to drink the wine so much as I want to FEEL DIFFERENT and I know the wine would take me to different.

I just have to ramble this out.......its angst, its frustration, its I'm not sure what. Is it related to alcohol? Is it just life? Is it because I am looking at life for real, at how I've gained weight, gotten old, and am boring? Is it because I thought miracles would happen in all areas of my life when I stopped "Everyday Wine" and they haven't happened yet? I thought going AF might be the beginning of great positive changes, but I am only seeing the lack of pretty wine glasses filled with bubbles and nectar. There is a thirst, a craving, but not really for wine - what is at the root of this? That is what I need to discover....and actually why I am doing this AF binge...I am hoping to find out. I guess I am getting impatient. I want to feel beautiful again, have energy, have time to ride bikes, take walks, go dancing......not work to pay bills, and pick up after people.

Ok, ok, thanks for letting me do that.....that is what this is....facing this without AL.....finding what is underneath.....it will come....it has to....Right?

I am doing this, but I'm still a frustrated Go2GOal ull

[Finding Me]

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Go2Goal,

Wish I could help but I am at the same place you are. I am 20 days AF and am wondering why I am still feeling so grumpy and depressed sometimes....I can snap at things just like that!

I wonder if we were expecting something wonderful to happen when we went a few weeks without drinking? I know this is the longest I have gone in awhile. I know my family knows but they certainly aren't getting me flowers or congradulating me on anything...maybe that is what we are missing, or maybe it is the relaxation we get from drinking, the high. Everyone is different. It will take time, I know for me to figure out why I felt the need to drink all the time in the first place and figure out another way to relax and not be so grumpy and jumpy now without it.

Good Luck on your journey, because that is what this is and congrats on your 21days!

~~Finding ME

[go2goal]

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Thanks finding - you are saying the same. Thank you because I know I'm not alone. HAve a great weekend and I'll look for you on the journey - we are 'time-mates" :H

Go2Goal

[rob]

Help

G2G and Finding Me- I am so so sorry, I just read your posts. I wish I has seen them last night when I could have been of more help.

What you are feeling is completely normal. Actually I went through the very same thing at about the same time in my sobriety.

You're three weeks in, your mind is starting to get really clear, your body is starting to feel the aches that alcohol has been covering up and you think " WHAT THE F***K??" where is all the good stuff people are talking about?

The honeymoon is over. You've woken up on enough hangover free mornings that the novelty has warn off. You've faced a few challenges and remained AF. And suddenly you have come to realize that there is no magic in being sober.

Well my friends, this is where the real work begins!! You didn't wake up one day and decide to have an unhealthy realtionship with alcohol and all that goes with it. It will take some time and lots of work to undo the physical, emotional and financial damage that alcohol has caused in your lives.

This is one of sneeky slimy ALs tricks. "Things aren't magically better, so why bother"
If you look to any of those here at MWO with really long term AF, you'll see that the answer is growth.

You have got to face your life for what it is and then start in some small way to make changes in areas that you don't like, exercise, change your eating habits, go to church, volunteer in your community. Something, anything that will make a differnce to you personally.

Finding Me, we have not met before, I don't know if you have been reading the boards, but if you have for the last 20 days, you surely have seen the growth of others as they come her on day 1 and start to evolve over time, gain confidence and move on, you can do this.

G2G, I've seen you grow from someone who thought ok, I'll give this a whirl for a week or two to someone who really has a commitment to change her life.

You can do this and we're here to help

Love and Peace
Rob