Hello, my friends...
I have returned from seeing my acupuncturist and am about to go to see my therapist - big day for Mama. I had a very long and intesnse session with my acupuncturist and I have decided that I need to make some immediate changes. Not really changes for me, more like getting back to my practice. I have been spinning for a few months and got so wound up that I just need some personal time. So, I have made a new plan. I am going to do some work sent to me by my Buddhist Teacher - that is one hour each morning. It is very intense work, so I need to stay focused and quiet. I am also going back to Yoga. I will do that when I am finished with my meditation. I will now not be going into the spa until mid-day. I have a wonderful staff, I need to let them take over for a while, and they are happy to do so. In the evenings I need to focus on my family. I have been directing them, not really being present with them. I have been harsh and not very loving. This makes my heart sad.
All said, I have been living too much inside my head and trying to fight battles that need not be fought. Giving too much power to certain aspect of my life. I know in my heart and soul that most things take care of themselves. I have to let go and just "be" for a while. This is not true with my battle with alcohol, that one I will continue to fight, but in a way sent to me by my Teacher. I have to follow this path right now. I started this before, but got scared - for good reason. But it is time to deal with this. No more running.... I am ready.. I will not drink, I feel confident in this. I know what I need to do and I MUST be AF to do it. I plan to cancel any further parties for the Holidays. This has been my downfall for the past few weeks, and it is just not as important as being AF and free. I wish to spend the Holidays AF and present with my family and most of all with my self, my tru self.
I will definately check in occasionally, but for a few weeks I need to be in intense practice, and for me that means remianing focused and not to much talking.
I love you all very much and will hold all of you in my heart.
Namaste,
MM
I have returned from seeing my acupuncturist and am about to go to see my therapist - big day for Mama. I had a very long and intesnse session with my acupuncturist and I have decided that I need to make some immediate changes. Not really changes for me, more like getting back to my practice. I have been spinning for a few months and got so wound up that I just need some personal time. So, I have made a new plan. I am going to do some work sent to me by my Buddhist Teacher - that is one hour each morning. It is very intense work, so I need to stay focused and quiet. I am also going back to Yoga. I will do that when I am finished with my meditation. I will now not be going into the spa until mid-day. I have a wonderful staff, I need to let them take over for a while, and they are happy to do so. In the evenings I need to focus on my family. I have been directing them, not really being present with them. I have been harsh and not very loving. This makes my heart sad.
All said, I have been living too much inside my head and trying to fight battles that need not be fought. Giving too much power to certain aspect of my life. I know in my heart and soul that most things take care of themselves. I have to let go and just "be" for a while. This is not true with my battle with alcohol, that one I will continue to fight, but in a way sent to me by my Teacher. I have to follow this path right now. I started this before, but got scared - for good reason. But it is time to deal with this. No more running.... I am ready.. I will not drink, I feel confident in this. I know what I need to do and I MUST be AF to do it. I plan to cancel any further parties for the Holidays. This has been my downfall for the past few weeks, and it is just not as important as being AF and free. I wish to spend the Holidays AF and present with my family and most of all with my self, my tru self.
I will definately check in occasionally, but for a few weeks I need to be in intense practice, and for me that means remianing focused and not to much talking.
I love you all very much and will hold all of you in my heart.
Namaste,
MM
c: :heart:
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