Thurs. - Dec. 13

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I just read yesterday's daily thread. It was very encouraging. First & foremost: Congratulations Cuckoosnest on 30 days. That is such a wonderful accomplishment. You said that you took mine (& Cindi's) words to heart about not being able to moderate. That's me. I just cannot. I tried & tried. If you think abs is for you, that's great. There are worse things in the world than not being able to drink alcohol. I couldn't feel more grateful for my sobriety.

There is a big winter snow storm on its way to our area. I know that I'd be in a panic about getting alcohol to fortify myself. I don't have to worry about that now. I have plenty to keep me busy & happy! I don't know how many times I've cleared the driveway of snow under the influence. It's a miracle I didn't get my hand caught in the snowblower.

Have a great day everyone. Again congrats to Cuckoo. Mary

[Cinders]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Mary,

Stay warm and safe today. Instead of stocking up on booze, stock up on some chicken soup and hot chocolate.

And, PLEASE, keep your hands away from the snow blower. The thought gave me chills. Eeek.

Everyone else, have a wonderful day.

Love,
Cindi

[tylyr]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Retteacher - I've tried mods. a few time, but can't seem to manage it. I give in and then that's it. I'd like to be able to enjoy a glass now and then, especially at Christmas, but I'm going to TRY to be AF over Christmas this year. Tylyr

[charlee]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Mary
Your post just made me think too about the planning. We have a snowstorm on the way and I would have made sure I was well stocked in case I couldn't get out. I know for me, mods is not an option, I too, have tried in the past...my intentions of having "one" are good and may even last for a day or two..within a week I would be enjoying that one, and sneeking a few "guzzles".....I would be right back to square one and the thoughts of waking up feeling like crap, and playing that game again terrify me.

[retteacher]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Char: I could have written your post. It wouldn't take me very long at all to go from 0 - 60 (so to speak). The last time I slipped back in Oct., I got very ill guzzling different kinds of wines. I remember back to that experience when I feel any kind of wavering.

Tylyr: I haven't served alcohol in my house for months. I know I'll do it some day...a dinner party or something...but for now, I'm only entertaining non-drinkers & kids. Good luck & have a plan & stick to it if you really want to abstain.

Mary

[Cinders]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Mary and Char,

I remember back to waking up with a bloody nose in a hotel room wondering what the hell I did the night before. I almost wish it had left a scar as a reminder to see every day.

Love,
Cindi

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Yes, I'd stock up too, even though I might end up walking to the wine store a few days later if the storm was really bad. It's nice not having to do that any more.

Mary, I agree with db, a vision of you and the snowblower is rather alarming. I'm glad that you're not doing that anymore while you're drinking!

Tylyr and Charlee, what I've noticed about the people who can moderate is that they seem to be able to do it practically right from the start. If they even catch themselves beginning to slide, they go back to abs for a bit and regain control. They don't slide down the slope again to the bottom of the hole. We do have a number of committed modsters on the board. It's not that they don't ever struggle, but it's not the same as us.

Anyway, I wanted to share that yesterday was my 6-month anniversary AF. I can't believe that I've been sober half a year. Not only am I surviving, but I'm thriving. Life can be just a frustrating as before sometimes, but I'm not tripping over my own feet trying to live it. Most of the time, I'm tackling it head on. It is a good feeling, and I feel like I'm growing and learning things that I was avoiding before. I'm so glad to be free of wine (not that I'm getting cocky, just grateful). Also, I've lost 18 pounds without really trying--what's not to like about that?:H

At any rate, have a good day, all!

Lots of love,:heart:
Kathy

[Cinders]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Kathy,

Wonderful!! 6 Months AF!!

Very proud of you and for you.

So glad you are here to share with us.

Love,
Cindi

[rustop61]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Kathy

Congratulations, you should be so proud of yourself. So glad you are here to inspire the rest of us.

Have a great AF Christmas

Rustop

[charlee]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Kathy
Congratulations on 6 months!!!..You must be so proud and feel so free!!!!

[Breez]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Hey Ho All-

Kids have the day off. Hubby is working from home & we're in the middle of the snowstorm. Went to the grocery store this morning (no-I'm not one of those panicky people, just needed a fe things) and half my town was there. Yup-passed by "the" isle & in the past would have told my daughter to go get something while I hid my stash in the cart & then at checkout would have done the same. Nah-so much better just doing my own thing & enjoy being a mom rather than numbing. Looking forward to tonight when the snow will be at it's peak & I get to bundle the kids in their snowsuits, watch hubby snowblow & just enjoy the night snowfall outside.

I've tried to moderate for 4 years & then realized "duh" I can't. Eventually it will come back. Sometimes it took me months to get right back to where I was. Then it took me another 4 years to try & quit. It's almost a year for me with only 2 episodes. That thought of "maybe I can moderate" always haunts you in the beginning. You have some sobriety, many good days, think you are strong since "hey I did so many AF days/months I bet I can do it". It's just that alcoholic voice trying to catch you when you're vulnerable.

In those 4 yrs I tried to quit-I'd get 3 months (the most) AF & always thought that if I could be that strong & not drink then maybe I can have just one or two. And I did. I'd have one or two here or there. I'd sip rather than chug. But eventually that "nice feeling" went away & I needed more in order to achieve it. And that's the progression of this disease-you always want that first "buzz". Eventually you need more & more booze to get it. And hence I'd always get back to where I left off.

That's why mod is not for me. It may not be right away but eventually I'd go from a fun-loving once in awhile drinker to a functioning drinker to a pass-out drinker.


Well off to make some home-made chicken soup.

Stay safe fellow stormers!

Have a great AF day everyone!



p.s. Congrats Kath-I remember when you started your AF journey & have seen such a great positive change in you. Great going girlfriend! Attached files [img]/converted_files/386884=2502-attachment.gif[/img] [img]/converted_files/386884=2838-attachment.gif[/img]

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

:H Breez, it always cracks me up, people act like they're going to be snowed in for the winter, instead of just a few days. I mean how much toilet paper can you use in 2-3 days?? Of course, in the drinking days, it was VERY IMPORTANT to make sure I had wine! At any rate, I hope you keep your heat, etc. Enjoy the snow. It's just dreary with a cold rain where I am. :yuk:

Thanks for your warm congrats, Cindi, Rustop, Charlee and Breez. It feels good to know that you are out all there supporting me. I wouldn't have been able to do this without MWO and all of the caring people like you.:heart: Hopefully, I'll get to be a "Solar Orbiter" a la Neil!

Hugs to all,:l
Kathy

PS: I love all of your "smilies" Breez!

[Guest]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Kathy,

Congratulations on 6 months!!!:goodjob:

I am so happy for you!!! You are an inspiration to us all!!!

And congratulations also on the 18 pounds of weight loss, that is a great side effect for sure! :band2:

[Determinator]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Quicky check in from my phone. Big congrads to our accomplished members!!
I'm in a smokey casino an hour east of Reno drinking...coffee! More later, be well friends

[retteacher]

Thurs. - Dec. 13

Kathy: I'm so happy for you on your 6 month anniversary. I have mine marked on my 2008 calendar...I know I'll make it w/the support of my MWO friends. You seem so at peace w/yourself. Mary