The lessons I've learned from this experience are:
Don't ever let your guard down, ever - period.
Don't think you are safe because you have prepared yourself - there will always be an unforeseen occurrence
If you are going out or hosting a party where alcohol will be served, have a buddy who knows that you are not drinking.
I have realized for me counting days AF doesn't work. Counting down days to me is like counting down the days until Christmas or your birthday or vacation. You achieve a goal and then it's over. I don't want my AF days to be a goal but a way of life.
It would be a very nice delusion to think I could limit my drinking like I did last night but I know it would never happen. Within weeks if not days I would be right back where I was when I came to this site. Last night after everyone left and I was cleaning up and looking at containers of alcohol on my kitchen counter, I did realize I don't want to lose this tenuous hold I have on my sobriety. I have enjoyed my life sober and want it to continue.
I was in chat the other night with some people and I believe it was Mags who said everyday of her AF life begins at day 1 (correct me if I'm wrong Mags) so here is to day one and all the day ones to follow.
For anyone I have let down, I am very sorry, especially coming so soon after my 30 days AF.
cuckoo
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