I drank last night

[cuckoosnest83]

Last night, I had a small get together at my home which involved alcohol. Unfortunately, I thought I had prepared myself and was strong enough not to drink but I did. I ended up having 2 1/2 glasses of red wine. Not as bad as it could have been but worse than what I intended. The remainder of the alcohol is packed up in my car to take to a friend's house today. The reason for posting this is because I accepted your kudos when I succeeded, I don't want to hide when I fail.

The lessons I've learned from this experience are:

Don't ever let your guard down, ever - period.

Don't think you are safe because you have prepared yourself - there will always be an unforeseen occurrence

If you are going out or hosting a party where alcohol will be served, have a buddy who knows that you are not drinking.

I have realized for me counting days AF doesn't work. Counting down days to me is like counting down the days until Christmas or your birthday or vacation. You achieve a goal and then it's over. I don't want my AF days to be a goal but a way of life.

It would be a very nice delusion to think I could limit my drinking like I did last night but I know it would never happen. Within weeks if not days I would be right back where I was when I came to this site. Last night after everyone left and I was cleaning up and looking at containers of alcohol on my kitchen counter, I did realize I don't want to lose this tenuous hold I have on my sobriety. I have enjoyed my life sober and want it to continue.

I was in chat the other night with some people and I believe it was Mags who said everyday of her AF life begins at day 1 (correct me if I'm wrong Mags) so here is to day one and all the day ones to follow.

For anyone I have let down, I am very sorry, especially coming so soon after my 30 days AF.

cuckoo

[flutterby]

I drank last night

Welcome to day 1 Cuckoo.
It's a beautiful day to be sober.
And I know from your posts that you are a beautiful person.
Keep on keeping on....
Fby

[cuckoosnest83]

I drank last night

Thank you, flutterby. I love the poem, Desiderata, in fact, I keep a copy in my purse.

[Chief]

I drank last night

The only one you let down was you, as is evident in your post.

You're not one who is just "playing the part" of controlling your drinking. You're serious about quitting and we have all known that from the start.

Don't beat yourself up on this. You HAVE learned from this and I would bet it won't happen again.

"I don't want my AF days to be a goal but a way of life." Well said. Very few people "get that" this early in their sobriety.

We're with you 100%, girl. You've got what it takes...

Don

[cuckoosnest83]

I drank last night

Thank you, Don. Big time.

[Accountable for Me]

I drank last night

Don't be too hard on yourself cookoosnest. Today is a new day, and from here you can do it again!

[retteacher]

I drank last night

Cuckoo: Thank goodness you came back here to MWO & wrote such an honest thread. You are so accurate in stating that even though you limited yourself last night, it wouldn't be long before you'd be back to square one. I know, for sure, that's what would happen to me. Today is a new day. You're doing the right thing by getting those bottles out of the house. You can't imagine what a lesson this is to me. Never, never give up. Mary

[go2goal]

I drank last night

Good Morning Cuckoo -

I SO admire your honesty and resoluteness. You are so keenly self-aware and not hiding behind any illusions - that to me, is Sobriety right there. I have been draining my brain thinking about all of this in the last couple months and I am wondering if 'Sobriety' means so much more than 'no alcohol'. I think your behavior may be a definition - tackling life head on - no illusions or escapes. I would not want to suggest to anyone managing AF, that drink on occasion is ok with AF, but I suspect a "Sober Life" is not lost with an occasion like you have managed.

You have actually handled a very scary situation for many of us, in a way I hope I will when faced with something similar. It is incredibly REFRESHING to read your 'day after' post here because it is not ridden with 'bad me' guilt & shame. Just the title of your thread is telling - "I drank last night" - just the fact, not 'I blew it' or 'I failed". You didn't get trashed, I hope there was some pleasure, and you have faced your limits. I think you have demonstrated a possibility that I have not yet witnessed on this journey. Thank you for handling this as you have and for coming forward. It is huge for me at this point in my journey. I am encouraged by you.

Enjoy this lovely day.
Go2Goal

[wonderworld]

I drank last night

cuckoosnest83;241008 wrote: I don't want my AF days to be a goal but a way of life.

Hello Mizz Cuckoo-
You've said it all. And I totally concur. You are doing sooooo great. Sounds like you learned what you needed to from last night, and it's done. You're a beast slayer supreme.
Big hug:l
wonder xx

[zige]

I drank last night

Hi Cuckoo
You did not let any one down.with your sincerity of wanting to be sober and your determination is now your gift,i had 4 yrs before i screwed up.i have 21 yrs now.does the number make me feel good yes,is it now going to keep me sober now in the moment hell no .i am in my piece of heaven right now its were i belong for the rest of my life.i can not go beyond the moment to stay sober.I can't have a drink for the rest of my life.I went through the DTs and that hell i keep in my mind every day thats why my piece of heaven is what i want one day at a time,one moment at a time.I know it hurts let it go.Today you are in your heaven you own it.What has happened is put in the yesterday ,to be used for future reference.cuckoo when you hurt we all help with the pain ,we all love you and you are never alone.welcme to your first day of heaven.Take Care GB.(ME).

[laura anne]

I drank last night

Hi Cuckoo. Woops, I drank last night too. Just got fed up and did it. 3 glasses of wine. Lets not beat ourselves up over it though. Today is another day. Every slip is a learning opportunity. Every day we are alcohol free is an incredible accomplishment. Lets try again!

Laura

[zige]

I drank last night

Cuckoo
Footsteps in the sand is another good poem.Right now there is only one set of footprints to be seen in the sand.you are never alone.(me).

[Iddy Paws]

I drank last night

Welcome to DAY 1.

cuckoosnest83;241008 wrote: Last night, I had a small get together at my home which involved alcohol. Unfortunately, I thought I had prepared myself and was strong enough not to drink but I did. I ended up having 2 1/2 glasses of red wine. Not as bad as it could have been but worse than what I intended. The remainder of the alcohol is packed up in my car to take to a friend's house today. The reason for posting this is because I accepted your kudos when I succeeded, I don't want to hide when I fail.

The lessons I've learned from this experience are:

Don't ever let your guard down, ever - period.

Don't think you are safe because you have prepared yourself - there will always be an unforeseen occurrence

If you are going out or hosting a party where alcohol will be served, have a buddy who knows that you are not drinking.

I have realized for me counting days AF doesn't work. Counting down days to me is like counting down the days until Christmas or your birthday or vacation. You achieve a goal and then it's over. I don't want my AF days to be a goal but a way of life.

It would be a very nice delusion to think I could limit my drinking like I did last night but I know it would never happen. Within weeks if not days I would be right back where I was when I came to this site. Last night after everyone left and I was cleaning up and looking at containers of alcohol on my kitchen counter, I did realize I don't want to lose this tenuous hold I have on my sobriety. I have enjoyed my life sober and want it to continue.

I was in chat the other night with some people and I believe it was Mags who said everyday of her AF life begins at day 1 (correct me if I'm wrong Mags) so here is to day one and all the day ones to follow.

For anyone I have let down, I am very sorry, especially coming so soon after my 30 days AF.

cuckoo

Hey :welcome: to DAY 1.

You keep getting up, too strong to stay down. Leave sorrow in the past, TODAY is a NEW DAY, yippie.

MWO has a great bunch, we gern deal with this TOGETHER.

I have done a 6 year stint then for almost 2 years again, then the Fall, but guess what, I am aiming for 2008 to be a better year, 3 1/2 years ago I stopped like 3-4 weeks before Christmas, and went for almost 2 years, I will beat this again, If I can do it so can any one.

A three fold cord is not easily broken. In other words we are weaker alone, but together.................Well lets just say............................................... .....

WE GONNA KICK SOME BUTT!:agreed:

[meditation mama]

I drank last night

Hi, sweetie!

I just popped in for a quick minute to see how everyone is doing. I feel how bad you feel for drinking last night, but you have learned and will continue to learn. It is a jouney. If someone came up to us and gave us the "magic pill", then we would have learned nothing. There is so much more to being a non-drinker than just not drinking. We have to recondition our mind, body and spirits along the way. We have been drinking for so long, and have grabbed many bad habits along the way. Slips are an unfortunate neccessity for many of us as we need to reprogram ourselves to our new way of life. It can be a very unsettling place to be, but in the long run it is who we are at our essence and when you are there you will know it. Learn as much as you can - take some time out and start again. Day 1 is only a fraction in time... You have your whole life ahead of you.

Namaste, my friend.

MM

[cuckoosnest83]

I drank last night

Thank you all for your support, comments, kind words, and encouragement. As always it is greatly appreciated. As stated in a few of the posts this is a journey and what awesome company to be traveling with.

:L :L
Cuckoo