How to feel like we are not missing out

[Loved1]

I am back to this forum after a few months of trying mods unsuccesfully. I am aiming for abstinence.
Does anyone have any tips/strategies for not feeling like you are missing out so much in a social situation where everyone else is drinking?
Thanks! Glad to be back!

[Hannah]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Loved1, good question. I still struggle with this. One thing I do that helps a bit is to pick a non-alcoholic drink that is still slightly sinfull - such as, for me, tonic water (because of the calories - pure sugar) and lime, or a virgin ceasar (the salt makes me swell like a balloon) - and only allow yourself these treats on special occasions. The rest of the time I stick to plain sparkling water, maybe with a twist of lemon or lime.

Hope that helps.

Also, the realization that many of the drinkers at the party really ought not to be themselves - and you should feel prooud that you are doing the responsible thing.

[maxman]

How to feel like we are not missing out

sit back and laugh at all of them getting pissed, you will notice so much more that goes on and usually I fing you have a better laugh and a better night

[slightlysuze]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Someone recommended soft drinks with Guarana in.....supposed to give a natural energy high...haven't tried it it yet.. Anyone got any experienc with it? I imagine it's like caffeine??



Suze x

[Guest]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Hi Loved1,
I thoroughly agree with max........sit and watch them all getting pissed, `cos that`s exactly how I used to look..........I wasn`t a pretty sight back then. That "eye-opener" is enough to make me realize that not drinking sees me gaining as opposed to missing out on anything.

Starlight Impress x

[YoungAtHeart]

How to feel like we are not missing out

I just bring a bottle of AF wine. When you haven't had the "real thing" for a while, it tastes okay. I still enjoy the feeling of mingling with a wineglass in hand, so I guess I haven't completely gotten over that part, but I am perfectly content to stick with AF wine. It is interesting to watch people get more toasted as the evening wears on. I have left a few gatherings when there is no one left to talk to, because everyone is raising their voices trying to make a point and no one can finish a sentence though....

[retteacher]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Just knowing I'm present in the situation & not paranoid is a reward for me. I love diet drinks, so the taste is not a problem.

[cuckoosnest83]

How to feel like we are not missing out

I would try non-alcoholic drink (wine or beer) or sparkling water.

[july232007]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Loved1,

That is a true challenge. Over time I think you evolve to the point where you don't see yourself as a drinker and hence don't miss it. But, until that time comes it is hard because you miss alcohol in your life. It worked, to a point, in those situations. Sitting back and observing others helps. Some drink, some drink who should not and many don't drink.

Give yourself plenty of room here. Just go and tell yourself you will enjoy yourself. You don't need to compare yourself with those drinking, instead have a conversation w/ someone who is not drinking. That will be good company.

In short, it is really not what you are missing (and you know this) it is what you are open to when you are not drinking.

July

[rob]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Loved 1, I guess the first thing you need to figure out is exactly what you think you're missing out on.

If its the taste of alcohol, there have been many excellent suggestions for substitutes.
If its social ease, I agree that observation might be the best indicator of how effective alcohol is as a social lubricant. He who starts out as Mr. Smooth after a few coctails may end up praying to the porcelain god before the evening is out or worse yet making a pass at the boss's wife.

What you will not miss out on is a hangover, guilt, or that sinking "oh WTF did I do last night?" feeling the next day.

I'm really not trying to be flip about this, but it will help you to figure out a solution if you can clarify exactly what you feel that you'll be missing out on.

[Akinna]

How to feel like we are not missing out

hi..

for me my ', trick..'' is to get a af bottle of wine.. and pour it in a wine glass.. it helps trick my brain.. . and also.. the other night I was at a gathering and someone got hammered..
and he was soooooooo rude.. and obnoxious..and anyway.. it reminded me .. that's the reason I do not want to drink.. cause I can get so dumb.. and idiotic.. and the next day feel so bad..etc..et.c. .. it helps to remind myself.. alllll the time.. why I have stopped..
also.. I tell myself.it's like an allergic reaction.. (the alcohol that is..) so.. I figure if I was allergic to nuts or something.. I wouldn't take any.. it,s the same thing...
.. anyway.. hope it helps...
....... take care....

akinna

[Determinator]

How to feel like we are not missing out

lots of good points here. Akinna the allergy reasoning is really food for thought. if we are allergic to nuts/cheese etc we just say no thanks I don't eat that. so why the heck is drink so much harder to realize we are simply allergic to?

[PeggySue]

How to feel like we are not missing out

Love,
These are some good suggestions here. I struggle with the same thought you have...that I am missing out on the fun by not drinking. Of course when I abstain, the next morning I am so very grateful that I am not getting up nauseous and tired and pushing myself to function. But I think what makes me actually mad is that, yes, you can sit back and watch people get sloshed....but there are those that sip a drink, mellow out, and STOP. Those are the people I envy. I wish I could be like that. But I can't, and I just keep reading what everyone else has to say here. It is very helpful.

[Loved1]

How to feel like we are not missing out

I agree with that PeggySue, but if what I am missing is the idea of drinking one glass of wine to "mellow out" and then stopping, which is what most normal people do at social functions, that mellowed out feeling does not last that long, so what I am missing out on like 20 minutes of something?? No big deal...................

[PeggySue]

How to feel like we are not missing out

I think the self pride feeling is very powerful. Knowing deep down that drinking is an issue for us, and having the fortitude not to drink results in a good feeling. Hopefully it will become so important to feel good and in control that we won't think of ourselves as drinkers any more. I hope so! Dom't think this answers the question, but just something I was thinking about.