Announcement

**Hannah** · January 4, 2008, 10:29 AM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Morning Finding! I hear you, lots of stress around these days, so feel for you, :l I did manage to find Horatio at the pool, but haven't seen Sven around yet. Maybe a good refreshing dip in the pool? Let me get my suit, and I'll meet you down there! Even if we don't swim, the scenery is mighty fine, and they serve a lovely fruit punch poolside.

Yes, there certainly are times when it would be SOOOO easy to fall back into old habits - just goes to prove that we can never relax our guard, old Al stilll has a way of wiggling into our thoughts, and making us think he can take all our problems away. Just hang in there, and the feeling will pass. Things do seem to have a way to work themselves out - hope you find the solution to your problem with getting your son back to school. Fingers crossed for you.

The moving company is at my house at the moment, loading up #1 son's stuff out of the garage, and then will be in the house shortly - he is taking some of the excess "stuff" we won't have room for when we move ourselves.

He stopped over after they loaded up at his place last night, and had a bite to eat with us. Then it really hit me as he was leaving, that he was really leaving!!!!!! He said he will be back today sometime to finish up the business of handing over his keys, etc, and will stop in, but then he will be gone! Have to admit I bawled like a baby when he walked out the door. It seems so unfair that just when we have successfully raised our children, and they are a pure pleasure to be around, they aren't. Wahhh!!!!!!:upset: :upset:

So, Finding, we will cry on each other's shoulders a little bit - take care, friend. Attached files [img]/converted_files/401659=2101-attachment.jpg[/img]

**hadenuf** · January 4, 2008, 11:12 AM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Hello everyone....

Day 5. I haven't felt too bad today but I think it's cos it's early days for me (again) and I'm nearing the end of withdrawals. Also I spoke to work today and they were really supportive

. They rang me - funny cos I was going to email them this afternoon anyway AND my son showed me one of his drawings last night which was a big step forward - he's a great artist (but then I would say that wouldn't I!). He's also been referred to the Young Peoples Team so at last maybe he'll get some support now.

FMS - know exactly what it's like not to have a car - same position and I don't my licence back till September either! I must admit, I've got used to walking and public transport much quicker than I thought I would but I DO miss it on the odd day of awful weather or to do the weekly shop but apart from that.... Hope Monday turns out ok - sure it will.

I'm now off to enrol in a couple of classes I kept promising myself I'd do, Yoga and Tai Chi.

Will check back in later....

xx

**happydog** · January 4, 2008, 11:36 AM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Hiya,

Fmf: Hope you feel in a better frame of mind tomorrow I will be thinking of you. Know what you mean about the whole year ihave somethings to sortout but dont want to face them, right now.
Hannah: feel really guilt because i cant wait for my kids to go back to school they just annoy and argue with each other, they are driving me mad. but would miss them like mad if they were not there. my little girl can she scream loud. DONT know who she takes after???

Hadenuf: well done 5days AF keep it up.It is good to see your work is really supportive.

Take it easy everyone.

Love
Teardrop.x

**lucky 2.0** · January 4, 2008, 12:19 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Just wanted to say hello and good day to all. I am proud to be AF!

**Finding My Self** · January 4, 2008, 12:33 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

(Edit!! OMG - this is an epistle!!!! Sorreeeee!)

Hi Hadenuf....seems we have a few things in common!! Are you booked in on your Alc. Awareness Course yet? I must dig out the paperwork and get booked in....aparently they get really full if you leave it nearer than six months before....wot?! That's crazy interesting! Is there a DD problem out there....and a drink problem full stop!?!? But I someyimes wonder if I'd drive again....I am sooo much calmer and even getting in the car as a passenger has me muttering at the other 'crazy' (?!) drivers within seconds! And it all happens so fast! I've definitely slowed down to human pace! (But as I don't know how I'll afford car and insurance anyway.....I just tell myself I am ahead of the game for when the oil runs out!!! I actually like public transport now! All that reading and people watching! Yea!

Hannah - thanks....lots....as ever....boo hoo! Sniff! Here are the tissues!!! See guys, Hannah and I both haev our 'little ones' moving away - my eldest daughter went to live in Munich, Germany, yesterday - for two years. Her new hubby's job has taken them out there and hers (with same company) has turned into being his PA..... (a good idea?!?!? Hmmm!) So, not far in miles to you guys on that huge continent over the pond from us, but a compicated journey for us....about 10 hours from here by 'plane or 16-20 hours by ferry and car (and much seasickness - no!)!!! (Which I can't do!)(drive or throw up!) And times the fares by 3 for all of us.....hmm. She way she'll be back to 5 hours away (at her father's) every 6-8 weeks or so....but.....boo hoo! They're always our babies!

So, Hannah - holding each other's hand eh?! Yes please!

Don't worry though; I am not going to let Al get me - mostly cos there is no desire for drink or that horrible "I-thought-I-would-feel-better-about-things-but-now-I-just-feel-wobbly/discombobulated-and-even-less-able-to-cope" feeling! (Got that saying now?!?! ITIWFBATBNIJFWDAELATC - well, it's an acronym to keep your hands off the booze bottle!!! LOL!

No, it's a sort of 'other habit'....you know the one.....like when you find yourself turning on the left hand tap for hot water when it's been the right hand one in this particualr house and you moved there 5 years ago? The old habit just pops up - a sort of physical movement habit....not connected to a desire.... So, I am just making sure I check it's a cup of coffee in my hand and not a glass!! Like I know it wont happen but it's the strangest of sensations! (I remember waking up with my thumb in my mouth once and jumping with horror!! I was about 30 and stopped sucking my thumb when I was.....(erm)....12!)

So, fret not my friends but thanks for being there.....such a weird, dark, wet, windy, bleak, wintry (unsnowy here!) day....can't wait to get back into some sort of routine....choir and things. And I have to get out of my studio by the 31st....my son and I went in today....eeek! Dog knows how I will but, well, it may have to be a skip....about 750 bits of unpainted china...such a waste but. Time to move on and leave it. Done. End.

Got son's poota mending anyway - just another ?70 - only a month after the last ?70 visit to the Poota Hospital (which they thought was a hilarious term!) Turns out the hard drive is b**g***d so a new one and up the RAM (from 128 to 1Gb. How'd the heck was it working in the first place?! (Never buy a poota for Crimbo (2006); they sell off the rubbish!) and it is still a quarter of the cost of a new latpop....which, of course kids have to have in school nowdays for coursework.....mummying calls for scary money nowdays!!! Sigh!

Right, must go pack his trunk trusting we wont be walking to the next county on Monday!

I hope your day is going well....thanks for letting me ramble....it really helps! See you at the pool side later? That punch sounds good....do you mean there is warm sun down there? Oh wow! What a lovely thought!

BTW Teardrop...I've been meaning to ask you what 'taking a pigeon' means...you posted it a couple of days ago?!?? Or have I lost the plot?!? I hope it helped whatever it is and you're OK!

Hugs to all
FMS xx

**Long Road** · January 4, 2008, 12:46 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Dreams

Finding,

I have the most godawful dreams about drinking. Mostly they're about being drunk and being unable to explain how I got that way. But the worst are when I seem to awake at the wheel of my car and can't seem to stop even though I know I'm drink driving. Sometimes I kill someone. It's horrendous.

David

**Finding My Self** · January 4, 2008, 03:26 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Aw David! That's horrible! Poor ol' you - but I guess really helps in the AF-ing stakes? I've only had about two drinking dreams...not as bad as those! Ugh! I hope they pass soon.....

Still feeling really unsettled here....something to do with having to ask for help and getting it which feels like I am unravelling a bit of the 'holding on' that I seem to have to have to get through each day? Is there really a way of being soft and open and yet not falling apart then?!? Like, maybe for months (years and years?!) I have held myself together and protected myself with, "I'm fine"....(until booze came in) and as soon as I 'let go a bit' I feel how precarious a thing my "I'm fine" is? (But I don't want to drink, don't worry!)

Or is that (a)just me and (b) just really narcissistic to talk about it?!?!?

Going to eat supper now - leave you in peace!

Hugs FMS xx

**hadenuf** · January 4, 2008, 05:10 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Hiya,

FMS - Cor! That was a big one! I got done for DD Nov06, did my Community Service Jan-April then hit the Drink Awareness Course straight away - to get it out of the way. I was nervous about it but to be honest it was an eye opener and I really enjoyed it. The funny thing was out of the whole group only myself and another lady used to pop off to the local round the corner for a quickie at breaktime! I was only able to afford a new car (first and probably last time) cos my hubby had left some money when he died but I am sort of looking forward to being mobile again - I'm a very independent person and I hate what this illness had done to me. I'm not very good at asking for help because I feel like other people will see I can't cope on my own (even if I can) - I have a mother who, apart from being very controlling, is very good at telling me how I SHOULD be bringing my son up and it's the feeling of loss of control and not being mobile and independent which really gets to me. Still, I rang her today for her daily call (tried to ignore the 'if you carry on drinking you'll be sectioned' comments) and decided this way is better in the short term. I have a meeting with the Alcohol Team next week and will request more treatment. See what happens.

But, as far as I'm concerned - if we haven't had a drink today it's a very good end to the day! Well done fellow AFs.

Right, I'm off to battern down the hatches as it's raining cats and dogs here.

My thoughts are with you all - have a restful night.

xx

**rob** · January 4, 2008, 06:18 PM

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Good Evening Innmates!
Finding- Thanks for starting the thread. I had to work today and did not have time to get it started before I took off. Hope that things work out for you on Monday and that your son gets safely back to school.

I knew that your daughter was moving to Germany but I had no idea that it would be so soon, no wonder you're so unsettled!! So many changes! Have you decided what you are going to do with all your ceramics. I know at one point someone had suggested that you might sell them on E-bay.

Hannah- Hope you have a nice evening with your son. You life and has taken so many unexpected twists this past year! How far away will he be from your new home and did you ever get an offer from the lady?

Hadenuf- You sound great today! Its great that your job is being so supportive this can get really tricky for some folks. I hope you are able to find a program that is a good fit for you. I was also glad to hear that your son was able to find a program to work with, is a peer support group?

Teardrop- Good to see you, sometimes by the end of the holidays, nerves get a little freyed. That's one thing I don't miss about the kids being grown and gone.

Lucky- Hiya- good to see ya!!

Long Road- How often are you having these dreams. I've heard people talk about having occasional drinking dreams but not constant. Is there some additional stress in your life right now? Hope they go away soon, they sound scarey!!

Well guys, I'm really tired tonight. See you all tomorrow.
Love and Peace
Rob

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Friday 4th January at The Inn

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment