Many of you know the (ahem) distain I have for the program of AA . I am REALLY sorry if this offends anyone, I know it will, but I have to be honest about my feelings. I know the program works for many people, and I am grateful it does, but it just wasn't for me. I just cannot give myself to a proram that askes me to label myself as hopeless, helpless and in a permanent state of recovery for the rest of my life. I believe we DO recover.
Nonetheless, I was meeting with my therapist and telling her that this is the year I plan to begin my new life as a non-drinker. I finally can say this. I can finally see it. It took some time getting here, and definately a lot of work - OH AND YOU GUYS! Anyway, she also know that AA is not for me. She knows my beliefs and is behind me all the way. BUT, she also is an advocate of AA as it has helped a lot of people, so she had an idea for me. She asked me if I had met anyone in AA that I thought was a standout, someone that got the sobriety thing, but didn't push AA to a gut-wrenching, political, droning, cult-like... oh, sorry, lost myself..... institution. I said, yes, there is a gal, Jen. She is amazing. She was this gal, a crazy drug addict from the streets of Portland. Lived litteraly on the streets. She is one of my clients now. Amazing lady, very successful now. So, my therapist said.. why don't you contact her and use her as (GULP) a sponsor - she cringed when she said the word - but kind of laughed at the same time.
Well, to make a long story short. I have given it a lot of thought and like the idea. I am going to call her. I will let her know I DO NOT intend to attend meetings, but would love her support and a person to be able to check in with. I think a live person will be helpful for me. She is very interesting and I love our conversations. I know for a fact that Jen will not push AA meetings on me. My hopes is that we will be able to meet once a week for a cup of coffee, conversation and support.
Anyway, just thought I would share my newest and grooviest....
Love your thoughts!!
MM
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