NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

[meditation mama]

OK.. I am feeling shakey these last few days.. I thinkit is because I am sick. That and we have has 2 feet of snow - I have had to do a lot of clearing outside and I am feeling like crap! My daughter was sick right before me and maybe I am just sick and tired.

I am will have 30 days on Saturday and I know sometimes I get a bit squirly around this time. But, I know how I am feeling. My daughter is going to her Dad's on Thursday for a week and that scares me. I am going to be by myself. This is going to be a big test for me. She has been with me for the past three weeks as her Dad has been on vacation. It has been easy for me to stay AF.

On top of it, I am thinking about the ex.. and talking to him. I don't want to do that - really I don't. I am just feeling poorly. So, bottom line - I am feeling vulnerable - yep, that's it. That is a scary place for me. All around. I am not feeling like meditating, not exercising.. just feeling crappy.

I will NOT blow this, I will NOT blow this, I will NOT blow this!!!!!!!!!!!!

:upset:

MM

[Thankful]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

You will not blow this!!! No! You have worked too hard. You have been such an amazing asset to this site and you have helped me many times. You are strong! You will stay strong! Your daughter kept you AF while she was there, and the thought of her will keep you AF while she is gone. She is your lifeline!

You probably are coming down with something, Mama. So take some extra Vit C and get as much rest as possible. You will make not only your 30 days, but beyond. I know you will.

Take a deep breath. You will get through this.

Love, Me
:l

[Cinders]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

MM,

Remember, these are just thoughts. This too, shall pass.

:l
Cindi

[meditation mama]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

I won't I know it.. deep down I just won't - I CAN'T! I am sick.. I hate being sick. I have to go to work but I really need to stay home. I am tired.

Wait.. I'm the boss!

I'm going to see if I can reschedule my day... please stand by....

ME FIRST RIGHT NOW!

That is what I would tell YOU!

[wonderworld]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

Hi MM -
I'm having some of all that too. Not the first time we're on parallel trajectories. I've been sick since Fri. Closing in on 30 days. Feeling alot of free-floating anxiety this morning that I can't quite put my finger on...... "technically" everything is fine. And I don't have any of the family/relationship issues that you do. It's just a spaz attack.

I agree with Cindi - this will pass. One moment at a time. I know that you are having anxiety about next week without your daughter, but when that time gets here, I bet you'll know just what to do.

And it sounds like you're afraid that talking to your ex while you're feeling vulnerable might lead to consequences you don't want (even if that consequence is just having him in your head). Do you want to go EF (ex free) or mod ? If you want to mod, we can help you! If you want to go EF, we can help you!

Let's walk each other over that 30 day line MM. After all, in the big picture, it's just another day right? We are non-drinkers. Alcohol is not an option.

Rest! Love you-

Wonder xx

[Cinders]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

MM,

Wonder does touch on something important, though.

You should probably start planning now for good strategies for getting through next week without your daughter.

I know that when I just "let things happen" sh*t happens!! When I have good strategies in place, I am able to deal.

We will all be here for you!!

Love,
Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

I don't have much to add than what the others have said. I know what it is like to be feeling sick and vulnerable... that would sum me up in a nutshell right now.

A good plan in place will help you. I am sending you lots of strength and love!

[meditation mama]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

Thank you!!!

Wonder - love the EF! I think I am just thinking too much right now. Need to NOT talk to him this week. That's all. The rest I can think about later. I haven't been meditating over the past 5 days, or so because I have been feeling run down. When I stay away from that my mind starts to think it has free range... It is hard to meditate when my head is full of snot.. haha! I just need to do the second best thing and that is NOTHING! I am just too emotional and tired right now.

Cindi - I will make a plan - great advice... I actually have a really exciting celebrity group coming into the spa this weekend. Fortunately for me the main celeb is AF!! So, that takes care of Friday and Saturday. Thursday night I will spend here and also on Saturday night as that my 30 day birthday night.. I am sure after that I will be healthy and mindfully back on track ready to deal withthe next 30!!!

For now, I just called in and took the next two days off. My daughter is skiing for the next three days with school, so I have the house quiet. Work is great and my new intern can handle some of my cleint load. The rest will have to wait - that's just the way it is.

Oh, and my daughter and I decided to go on a cruise instead of Mexico. We will still do Mexico (the Mexican Riviera), but we thought that would be more fun with just the two of us than just hanging in one place. So I will book that today - that will cheer me up!

Thanks for being here, my friends!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

MM

[meditation mama]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

Thanks, tkeene - yes, in the past 30 days has been a huge trigger - in fact many times I blew it right before 28 days, 24 days... but not this time. I think in the back of my mind those are coming up, but in the past I have had MODS on my mind. This time it is not an option.

In the past I have always pictured myself moderating in social situations - I can't do that. This time I am visualizing myself drining sparkeling water with lemon, etc., and feeling very proud. I am trying to do that as much as I can. I am pictuing myself in foriegn counties with great coffee (in the past I would blow it here), instead of wine. So, I am making real mental changes.

Thanks for letting me write that out - I forgot how important that was!

30 days will be the same as 29 and 300!

MM

[Cinders]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

AFM,

Sending you lots of strength and love, too.

:l
Cindi

[meditation mama]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

Thankful and AFM - thank you for your kind words... I am starting to feel myself again.. I woke up feeling HORRIBLE and a bit panicky... Man, I hate that. That hasn't happened for a while - whew.

I am so glad I have you guys!

Namaste,

MM

[Accountable for Me]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

Thanks Cindi. Things will be OK for me... just feeling rough - sick, and wonky from the chaos I bring into my life. Need a good therapist, me thinks!

We will be here for you anytime MM. This place got me through some pretty hard AF days. Take deep, deep breaths and just know you are doing great!

[wonderworld]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

2 days off! what a good move MM. So smart. I was thinking the plan for next week was a good idea too. Right on. and EF it is! Powah!

xox w.

[Determinator]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

MedMama you will NOT blow this. not even close. you are kicking butt!!!!!!

when you are on your own maybe do something fun like go out to the movies.

XXXXX

[Breez]

NEED A LIFE LINE!!!

MM-talking to your ex will be over before you know it. Take that week your daughter is away & do things for yourself. Hell-walk around naked! LOL. Just picture yourself when your daughter comes home feeling so great that you did it! I think deep down inside you know you can-it's just that old alcoholic voice that comes back every once in awhile trying to get you to second guess yourself. Just keep busy doing things you enjoy. Hope you feel better soon.