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    #1

    I need abstinence

    I've been coming here for a few months now and I have not put together more than a few AF days. My problem was/is that for some reason I think I should be able to moderate. Well, that ain't happening. If I can't drink the whole bottle and then half of your's I'm not happy. On the flip side, saying I can never drink again freaks me out.

    So, I'm going to approach this differently. I want 30 days AF. That's all. I know it is not easy. But, I see what so many of you have and I so desperately want that for myself.

    Count me in for 30 days AF. Of course this is day one. I'm always very grandiose on day one.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I need abstinence

    Hi shelbysmiles, Good for you - keep posting - we will cheer you on!!

    I feel you - I'm the same way. Scared of thought to quit forever, and yet, not able to control my consumption. My promise to self to stop after 2 glasses of wine had failled 99.95% of the time. GGGGRRRRR. I have been able to aproach moderation on a different level. See, I used to drink each day, now I'm AF Monday-Friday..well, actualy through Friday afternoon as bunch of co-workers get togther friday nite and sometiemes I join them. I haven't figure out yet, how to handle weekends withouht drinking, or drinking a little at the time - but I'm working on it.
    So as you can see you can "customise" your approach to whatever makes sense to you.

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      #3
      I need abstinence

      hi there..shebysmiles.welcome aboard.and take it one day at a time.good luck.and keep on posting.remember we are here for you
      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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        #4
        I need abstinence

        Nice to see you shelbysmiles.

        Don't be afraid of not drinking. Honestly, life outside of the bottle is a much brighter place. Even if your goal in the end is to moderate, it is suggested to do at least 30 days AF first (MWO book).

        For me, and I am not going to lead you down a road of disillusion, I was sober 5 months straight. Then I had a couple of glasses of wine.

        Went for 3 more months AF and had a few ciders - which wasn't a good thing because I drank them for the wrong reason... felt myself reverting to my old excuses.

        Then went another 2 months AF and had a couple of glasses of wine. Now, I have a glass or two once a month.

        I walk on thin ice with this tho because I was a hard core binge drinker. Factually, I should not even tempt the idea of having a drink, because for me it can be a slippery slope and I have to remain 'on guard' at all times.

        Moderation is possible. It does take a lot of will power and strength - which for a lot of people here, it is easier to remain AF. For me, I am all for AF, and one day will just say "The Heck with it" because it is less work.

        Wishing you strength and love with your 30 days! You can do it.

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          #5
          I need abstinence

          Hi ShelbySmiles,

          I'm going to ask you to do yourself a favor and forget about forever. If you've gone a few days AF, then you can do 30 days. You may need to break it down into managable chunks however. Please don't even THINK about "forever"--it's too overwhelming, especially at the beginning.

          Sometimes you may need to make it just one hour at a time, then other days will be easier. I invite you to join our daily thread and check in each day. I would also suggest the "Just Starting Out" forum, where they have an "ODAT" thread that is very helpful to many folks. Post as often as you want/need to. If you are really struggling, start a thread on the ASAP forum to get quick responses.

          I hope this helps. I'm looking forward to seeing you around.

          :l
          AF as of August 5th, 2012

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            #6
            I need abstinence

            Thanks for the support and kind words. I really do draw strength from many of you.

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              #7
              I need abstinence

              Hey, Shelby!

              So happy to read your post. Forever freaked me out for so many years - I absolutely fought it tooth and nail! I would argue this with myself, my therapist - anyone that would listen. I could never imagine my life without alcohol. Now I cannot imagine it WITH alcohol.

              Just start it with one day.. but know that the first week can be tough. So stay close, post a lot and know that we are here to help you over the bumps... just let us know what you need.

              MM
              Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

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                #8
                I need abstinence

                I second what everyone has said. I came here in April '07 & have been pretty up & down. However, I've had more sobriety here than I have in years & years. In Jan. I had some slips after more than 100 AF days, so I'm back at the one day at a time (ODAT) approach. I cannot have just one or two drinks...it's a whole bottle or nothing. I can't even think about moderation. I've tried all kinds of ways to do it...a schedule of drinking, a certain number of drinks, a certain type of drink, ad infinitum. Good luck. The ODAT thread is a good one, & the daily thread right here on the 30 day forum is also good for staying on track. Mary
                Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                October 3, 2012

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                  #9
                  I need abstinence

                  You have been given lots of good advice. The beauty of MWO is that you do it your way. Stick close to the boards, read and post. Join some of the threads mentioned e.g. ODAT, Daily thread. It helps keep you motivated and you will get lots and lots of support. If you can do one day, you can do two, one week then two. Take it in steps the important thing is to stick at it. Good luck.

                  Rustop

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