Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I know some of us are going through some real changes. I also recognize that sometimes people need a break from MWO. However, I absolutely must come here if I can during the day. I need contact w/others who are trying to stop drinking. Today my message is simple. I will not drink today. Mary

[WA]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary and all to come...I will not drink today either,,,,,,,
Love to all
Love Jacqui xxx

[tlrgs]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

add one more check me in .have a great day to all.

[retteacher]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

I had to log out quickly, as my puppy needed to go out. I just want to reiterate that my goal is to not drink today. I just filled a 0 into drinktracker for today...that's how sure I am that I will not have a drink. For anyone new: DrinkTracker is on the main forum page or the drop-down menu. Click on it & follow the instructions for signing up. It's a tool to help you stay motivated & keep track of your drinking. It's very encouraging for me to see a string of zeros for the month of Feb.

Today is my 18th day AF. I feel good to have gotten through a few very difficult situations that I formerly would have gotten drunk through. I feel that staying AF during hard times is rewiring my brain & giving me the confidence to know that I don't have to numb out when things get rough. Waking up wo/a hangover (which I would have had to hide, as I'm a secret drinker) is such a gift!

As I said in my previous post. I know MWO is not for everyone. I don't know that I'll be here every day 10 years from now (maybe I will). But for now, I need the daily processing & encouragement. Please feel free to share your feelings & experiences. And if you've taken a hiatus & feel you want to come back, you are always welcome!

Mary

[madisonmay]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Hi All

New but not new, been with MWO for awhile. I am starting again, I did not drink on Saturday and Sunday, great. I will not drink today. Hugs to all before and all to come.

Mary:l

[charlee]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Mary
I too will not drink today......I have tried many avenues with little or no success (for me) to get my demons under control....MWO has helped me get out of that deep, dark hole.
I am amongst seniors, juniors, those who have found a path, those still struggling but still forging ahead....Real life, real people, real stories.....I need to remind myself everday where I have been, where I am, and where I am going, and know if I stumble, the support will be there to pick me right back up...I will be forever grateful for this wonderful place...

[YoungAtHeart]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

I'm with you, Mary. I still come here just about everyday because MWO still means a lot to me and is still part of being sober for now. I've gone through times where I did not post much, but I've always read.

I like our current group here in Absland. I hope that more people come and join us. I hope that tk and Cindi are back soon.

I never thought that I could do what I've done. It is truly amazing to me. Last year at this time, I had managed to do 18 days and 21 days AF in the past, with long periods of drinking in between. I am saying this only to let people know that you never know when you will finally experience success. One day, it is just the right time, and there you go.

Hi to Madison, tlrgs, jacqui, and charlee!

I hope that everyone has a great AF day.

Hugs to all,
:l :l

[retteacher]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Young: As usual you have said just the right thing. Thank you so much. M

[Mackeral]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Hello all

I have had today as my day to quit for the past few weeks now..I'm trying to do it properly this time...I have taken all the sups im supposed to and have my cd ready..
Here goes again...

Have a great day all...And keep up the good work.

[cowgal]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Joining

I am joining in, cannot do mods.................took me since Oct to figure that out, and my poor body cannot take any more tries.....................had a REALLY bad weekend,:blush: couldn't get out of bed Sat or Sun, know it gets worse for us as time goes by and I have just proven that..............I feel sad, but hopeful, I remember my stints of AF before (with the help of AA, I am back there, with an open mind this time...............was a little biased in the past, thought it was more cultish than anything, am looking at it as spiritual, which I am a spiritual person, so this time I HOPE it worksray: ), wish me luck, I need it, today is day 1, went to AA last night, but did drink yesterday, so that doesn't count.................

love:h and major hugs :l needed, am detoxing and it is NOT a pretty picture, to those of you in doubt, it DOES get worse (or maybe I am just worst than most of you???)

MA

[vinophile]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Good Morning,
I,too, have been away from MWO due to problems with my internet and am so happy to be back and see you absters again! Without the sense of purpose and accountabily this site gives me I easily slipped back into old drinking habits. Knowing I could come back here gave me something I so desperately need.....HOPE!!!!

It's wonderful to see the familiar "faces" here and I look foward to meeting the new ones.

Janet

[Determinator]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Top of the Monday ABeroooos!

Mackeral wow! nice to have you back mate. in fact several old friends have come home this morning which warms my heart. yes, I'm a MWO-a-holic and I'm perfectly happy with that

off to another trade-show and life on the road starting early tomorrow so hopefully I can log in here from the airport. Since doing so well on this last trip my confidence has really grown and I don't feel so anxious. Just for insurance I'm picking up my antibuse today. My health is too important for slips...I'm just done with torturing myself and I have so much more fun when I'm not preoccupied with drinking or thinking about drinking.
so I'm off to pack my clothes,

be well friends!

[retteacher]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

It's great to see new people on this daily thread. I feel a renewed sense of purpose. Cowgirl, like you, I had to give up on the idea of mod. I just can't do it. I'm in Alanon (my son had his probs a while ago) & go to the occasional AA meeting as well. I take seriously the phrase "Take what you like & leave the rest." I don't have to love all of it or all the people either. M

[cowgal]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

yeah,

I take that phrase seriously too, but need to get it this time, or it is my life, I felt my heart going this time,couldn't manage to get out of bed, so weak..................really happened fast, a friend of mine went through this a few months ago and I thougth "not me, never, I am not that bad!!" WOW what a scare!!:upset:

Thanks for the feedback,I have been to alanon for dealing w/ my hubby, can't diagnose him as an alcoholic, but I think he IS one...............

Bye for now, lots of love!!!:h :h

MA

[Thankful]

Mon. - Feb. 18 - Daily Thread

Wow, so many new people. It's sad that so many people need this site, but I am glad that you found it or at least found your way back. I hope we can continue to be here for each other.

I completely understand with what some Abers who left for awhile mean. It's hard not to be obsessed about drinking when we are here talking about drinking so much. It's a Catch-22 sometimes. Good luck, my friends. We are here for you when ever you want to return. :h

I've been house sitting this week and it's a good thing. I am away from the family drinkers and the STRESS. I found that I don't even want the NA beer when I am alone and at peace. But every few days when I go home because someone has to go to the Drs or they need groceries, etc., my stress level rises and I want a beer so bad it's crazy. Just being home and being around them people is such a bad trigger. I've been good and only have the NA. I know people see it as a crutch but it really helps. I feel like I have been chastised a bit from certain people who think you shouldn't even have NA beer, but it keeps me away from the real alcohol, so I don't see the harm. Seriously I went from about 60+ real beers a week to about 6-8 NA beers. I've figured the math on the alcohol with the NA beer vs my previous AL brand and I would have to drink 7 NAs to equal 1 real beer. I don't need to be told I'm still doing something wrong, you know? I don't have insurance for Drs and meds, so this all I have to help me. This is MY way out even if some people think it's wrong.

I realize that I have to really do something about my home life. I'm afraid of the day when the NA isn't available, because heaven knows, they never run out of the real stuff! Yesterday I was home and it was hard. I had 5-6 NA beers and I was getting nervous that I only had 3 NAs left. I started to panic a little and my heart was racing. I said screw it and I stopped drinking the NAs also. I was just too scared what would happen if I ran out that I was on the verge of tears. Other than being home, I don't know what was making me want it drink. It's not like there's enough alcohol to smooth out the stress. If anything the more I drank the NAs the more stress I was feeling because I wasn't getting the "relief".

It's a work in progress and I have to figure something out. I'm barely starting to get over being very sick also, so may be things will be different in couple more days.

I want so badly to reach my second set of 30 days, but I still find myself apprehensive at times. I don't even know if I'm posting in the right place if you are over 30 days. I just like the people here, so I hope you don't mind.

I feel like crying now just by getting this out. Thanks for letting me vent.

Love, Me
:l