Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

It's helpful for me to know the 4 stages which can lead to relapse for me.
1. The Alcoholic Thought - (Hmmm...Maybe I'll drink today.)
2. The Justification - (I'm stressed, bored, upset, whatever...I think a drink would help.)
3. The Planning - (I'm going out anyway...I'll just stop at the liquor store on my way home.)
4. The Buying - (This needs no explanation.)
Obviously, if I interrupt this in the early stages (1 or 2), the easier it is for me to not drink. I've never walked out of a liquor store empty handed (stage 4...out of the question).

Today, I got to stage 3. However, I went into the supermarket next door to the liquor store. I took my time buying food & procrastinated buying alcohol. I left the parking lot from the exit farthest from the liquor store & managed to avoid buying a bottle.

The end result? My husband & I went out for a nice lunch. Later in the afternoon, my daughter (who's a teacher) called for some advice about her class. There's no way I could have helped if I had been drinking.

For me, knowledge is power. I did it today...I can do it next time.

Love, Mary

PS: I actually considered drinking & not owning up to my MWO community; however, I just couldn't. I absolutely have to be honest here...otherwise I'm doomed to failure.

[Guest]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Mary,
Well done. I agree, now you have done it once you can do it again that's for sure.

But I think you missed one.. the surprise.. it can literally come from nowhere sometimes.. it slides in unannounced. I know that for me, most of the thoughts are like your four stages, but there is this darned 5th one too.. watch out for it cos its a tricky one.

Honesty has been a huge thing for me.. I used to think it was honesty to other people (friends I made in the early days when I posted a lot on this site), but actually, for me, its honesty to myself.

I have found it a long and arduous journey getting to be ok in my skin.. but I cannot tell you how worth while it is, in my experience. At the moment, I'm just so happy in my skin, my eyes are clear, my heart is open, my body is strong, my mind is challenged in constructive endeavour. Christ, I'm even being chatted up by strangers!! I dont know quite how long my great phase will last this time, but I know these great phases come in and I simply love them and its worth going through the other stuff to get here. I know I never had these phases when I was drinking.

Keep going Mary, you're doing well.. keep up your fighting spirit and I wish you well. And have a great day to all who come here today and hope you don't mind me dropping in all breezy and happy like...
ATT

[tlrgs]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

well done keep it up. and you got a great plan .good luck

[Janice]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Hi everyone.....Mary just keep fastforwarding those thoughts to how you normally feel after drinking. I always remember you telling me that Mary "think through the drink....think past it"...and that helps. ATT is right - these thoughts just come from nowhere. Stay on guard Mary and protect your sobriety - you've worked so hard for it.

Day 2 for me today and feel good. Got a wedding do tomorrow evening but have told my husband I'll drive which has surprised him!! I'll be on guard though for Al rearing his ugly head - he loves weddings doesn't he??

Anyway, might not get on as much over next few days as family home for Mother's Day and my mum-in-law is coming to stay which means I don't get as much "me" time or should I say (MWO time!!). Computer is also playing up (what a time to happen!!).

love and thanks for all the fantastic support here......

Janicexxx

[cowgal]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

happy Thursday!!!

Mary, good for you, need to remember those signs:goodjob:...................."think the drink through" has helped me on SOOOOOOOO many occaisions (thanks AA!).......ATT, you are right, sounds like you are in a good place...............

Tlrgs, Janice...........good to see you this AM, Hope you enjoyed the rest of your B-Day Tlrgs!! Janice, AWESOME job on day 1, good luck on day 2 too.............and a wedding, WOW, don't know if I'd have the strength!!?? Good luck and stay strong!!

Everyone left to come, have a great day too!!!!

Love and hugs!!:h

MA

[Cinders]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Mary,

Your post really hit home.

I got to the stage of buying and did it. Really blew it last night. Big time. A bottle of wine and no brain cells working.

The upshot is I apparently said and did things I shouldn't have. Another great outcome from the beast.

I made a doctor's appointment for Monday and have decided to ask for Antabuse. I need to make drinking NOT an option for good.

I am scared but if that is what it takes, that is what it takes.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Cindi: Once inside a liquor store, it's over for me. I would not be able to resist. Try not to drink this weekend, because of the appointment on Mon. You'll need all your faculties for that. I know the antabuse is scary, but what is the alternative?

ATT: Yes, I forgot the surprise element. Those thoughts seem to come out of nowhere.

Mary

[charlee]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Mary, those all important signs.....It truly does become a mental game of constant chatter...the justification.....many times I thought I could justify needing that calm....It is so important (for me) to remember the bad....and boy was it bad.....a temporary fix, a few minutes to escape???...eventually I come back to reality and ask myself "What will this accomplish?"..It will accomplish that ugly picture I have in my head of a groggy, sloppy, loud mouth with a big headache.......just don't want to go back there!!!..Thank you for a very enlightening post.....

[Cinders]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

I am hoping the Antabuse will quiet the chatter a bit.

[buckledown]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

I posted this in General and thiought you all might be interested here....anyway,,,21 days today! Yippee....have a super day...
Hi everyone,
As some of you may know i went to the Lenair center in early February. As promised I will keep you updated on my progress...It is 3 weeks today - 21 days and i am still amazed and astounded by my experience...it is nothing short of a miracle...I have struggled for so many years and now it is just gone...i am still overwhelmed by how this has happened to me as the experience was so out of my realm of believing was possible...I know that My Way Out played a huge part as well and i dont think i would of ever made the trek to Lenair without going through this program first....i literally do not drink anymore it is that simple...my brain is just different somehow...My life is so joyous now and i rejoice daily in the little things that you forget about when you are drinking 2 to 3 bottles of wine every day....the time with my kids is so beautiful now as I am sooo present and available to them...and loving spending time with them ...i wake up clear headed, unashamed, and rested...and so much more...almost more than the removed drinking is the fact that my extreme anxiety is completely gone, i feel calm and as if everything will be OK...No matter where you are in your journey...good luck...I wanted to share with you where i am - as promised...I hope everyone gets where they want to go however they choose to do it...this just happened to be my experience...I will keep you updated but expect the rest of my life to continue as a non drinker....Blessings and BIG hugs... Buckle

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Good morning all,

Mary, I'm glad you were able to resist going in the liquor store. Let's face it, this is hard!! I'm so glad that you want to own up to all of us. It helps you, and it helps us when you share your struggles. Your honesty has done so much to set the tone here. I think you have become a leader in Absville, Mary.

It's good to see you Brigid. I hope you'll keep popping in from time to time. It's always good to hear from you. I am so happy that you are in a really good place right now.

Hi tlrgs--I hope you're doing well.

Good luck with the wedding and the weekend, Janice. Happy Day 2!

Cowgal and Charlee, you both are sounding well. I hope you have a good day today.

Cindi, I applaud you on going for the antabuse. It takes courage, but it is really like an insurance policy, and it will take the choice out of your hands until you are ready to take the choice back. You don't need the chatter right now. You try so hard, sweetie, and anything that will make this easier for you is well worth it. I hope you realize what a special person you are!:l

Anyway, I'm doing okay. I've been feeling pretty good the last few days because I've been getting a fair amount of work done, and that always feels good to me. I think I'm a little ADD, so it's hard for me to settle down and focus. I was hoping that not drinking would help with this, but unfortunately it hasn't really. But the last several days have been good, and that has lifted my spirits.

Anyway, have a good day, all!

:l:l

[Determinator]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

This is so weird...I can't go to page two of todays thread ?????

oh well, in response to the one page I can read: big congrads to Janice and Buckledown on the days AF!!! we all deserve to feel empowered and healthy in our sobriety.

Ciindi the antabuse has been a surprise blessing for me especially in social settings. I'm sure it will be a huge weight off your shoulders.

I had icky drinking dreams but then woke up and realized nothing bad really happened. whew!

went out and had dinner solo last night. first thing the restaurant does is hand me the wine list. hahahah. they know how to press my buttons but I'm not falling for it.

be strong and be well my friends (sorry I can't see page two)

[KateH1]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Mary,

So True......"Once we Buy It, We Will Drink It"!! I went through this drill on Tuesday! Nearly pulled into the liquor store on the way home on Tuesday night. I even pulled into the parking lot! Yikes! so close!
But, I thought about "After the Drink" and before I could go back to my "Old Thinking", I pulled out and drove home. For the first time, since I joined here, I went into Chat for HELP! I found Lucy Van Pelt, ready and available for assistance!! After just a few minutes of talking with Lucy, (and popping a couple of L-Gluts!) I was back to being a "Non-Drinker"! I hung up the phone, poured a nice bath and went to bed sober! That was a very close call at day 39 of being AF. I am so grateful to MWO and to Lucy!

Big Hugs to all!
KateH

[Determinator]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Kate, that must have been a scare. glad you are alright !! XXXX

[Janice]

Thurs. - Feb. 28 - Daily Thread

Det, a few of us have had problems today getting on page 2 of threads - click on Post Reply, you will get most of the posts there.

you stay strong too!

Janicexxx

ps just out of interest, what DID you order to drink in the restaurant?? I'm already thinking "what will I drink tomorrow night" at this wedding do we're going to.