Thursday- March 13

[aquamarine]

Hi Everyone, I thought I'd start this today since I have to run and might not be back till later and I find coming here everyday helps me tremendously. Day 13 and feel pretty good.
I do have moments of entertaining drinking and even planning times in the future when I can drink. Then I think even though I say I want to be AF for life, and I really do, is there something in me that actually has not made this decision. Or is it my lack of confidence that
I could actually ever accomplish that? Does this happen to anyone else? Hope everyone has a good day and keeps on their path. Thank you all for being here. Aquamarine

[4theboyz]

Thursday- March 13

Aqua,

I'm on day 25 and fight that same epic battle everyday especially at night when free time is more available. Old habit are hard to die and AL is one tough SOB. I call those moments character builders.

Have a great day Abbers!

[cowgal]

Thursday- March 13

me too!!!

Aqua and 4theboyz, I have those moments too, not every day, but often enough..................

A friend at AA just told me last night that it may be because I am coming up on 30 days, and that is usually when people start to fall off their program and may drink again..............

I too have been pondering moderating after 30 days AF, but fear that I will go back down to where I was 25 days ago.....................have 25 days AF now YAY!! Got to remember that when I think about drinking, I have come so far!

Have a great day everyone,


Love,:h
MA

[Miss October]

Thursday- March 13

Good Morning Everyone,

I have not posted much since after January, as I have been swamped at work and that was where I did most of my posting (shame on me).

Aquamarine, I truly believe that we cannot stop drinking until we truly want to stop and make that committment. Whether it is a 30 day, 60 day, 90 day, or life time of abstinence, we must want it really bad.

I know in the 4 months I have been on this site I have read many interesting and inspiring posts and have learned quite a bit. I have realized that for me to abstain for a period of time, I have to want it very badly. And I can honestly say that I'm still not ready. Part of me says I should for health reasons, but the other part still wants its cake and eat it too. So I am managing to stay AF during the week, but come weekends, I eat the cake.

I'm still hoping that one day I wake up and say, this is it, I'm ready for my first 30 days of abstinence. But until then......

4theboyz and cowgal, I have been watching your progress and you are doing great. You should be so proud of yourselves. Please keep me inspired for my day to come.

and Mary, happy belated birthday. Hope you had a great day yesterday.

[Janice]

Thursday- March 13

Morning Aqua, 4thboyz, cowgal and all to come!! This is my third abstinence spell since I joined MWO last year - the first two times - beg May (42 days) and beg October (50+ days) I was just as disciplined, motivated, inspired as I feel now and took on the challenge of AF with such determination.

Both times I "decided" to return to drinking and especially the first time, "something" happened when I got to 30 days. My mindset changed, my thoughts changed, my determination changed and I thought I had now cracked this drinking lark - of course I could now be a normal drinker!!! I'm not a normal drinker otherwise I wouldn't be here yet again on day 16. What I'm saying is be careful cowgal.....that 30day landmark can be tricky.......you need to have your plan ready otherwise your mind starts playing games with you. We convince ourselves we can moderate but once we introduce alcohol back into our system, we're off and running again with this addiction. You have 25 hard earned sober days under your belt.......you have done the hard part .....be careful.

Day 16 I think? for me. Went to the gym again yesterday and got so much more done in the house later. My kids are home this weekend for Easter and my husband's back so a full house which will be lovely. Will be back on later - love catching up with you all - Janicexxx

[Janice]

Thursday- March 13

Posted at the same time - welcome back Miss October!!!

[retteacher]

Thursday- March 13

Aqua: I too say that I'm going to be abs for life. I know I can't drink normally, & I'm so much happier & more self confident sober. That said: It's difficult to look at a whole lifetime of sobriety. Drinking was such a huge part of my life for many years. I think when I get into that mindset of "How am I going to do it for so long?" that's when I have to say: "Just for today, I will not drink." I have to take the ODAT approach at those times.

I'm happy sober today, but there are definitely drinking thoughts that pop into my mind. I just have to remember all the times I tried to moderate, both in MWO & before I came here. Many, many times. I ALWAYS went back to alcoholic drinking. I also have to remember all the bad, bad situations I got myself into w/my drinking. That's usually enough to erase any romantic notions about drinking I might have.

There are very few people in my life at this time who drink to excess. We do have a family party on the weekend. There will only be beer there, which isn't much of a temptation for me. I know I'll have more fun sober. I'll enjoy the kids so much more if I'm not worrying about pouring myself drinks wo/somebody noticing how many.

Take care everyone. I'd love to hear others weigh in on this conundrum & how you try to solve it.

Love, Mary

PS: A sober birthday is absolutely wonderful.

[Beck]

Thursday- March 13

Good morning everyone,

An interesting start to the day...Aqua, I am at 39 days today and I am having the same internal discussion. I think I want to try moderating someday, but right now this is where I need to be. I still have the thought that a gin and tonic would be lovely but I cannot think of a single time when I actually had only one.

When lent is over, it strikes me that I will have to make excuses for NOT drinking. On some level that feels as deceptive as the hiding I was doing before. My mind is playing tricks on me again saying that it is easier to the occasional drink with my husband than to tell him why I am not drinking. Yipes! Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Missed logging in yesterday -of all days- missed Mary's birthday. Happy belated Birthday, Mary.

Have a great day all,
Beck

[aquamarine]

Thursday- March 13

Hi Everyone, I guess in thinking about making life long proclamations of never drinking again is where the ODAT really is of value. I think that when you decide to tackle this problem, particularly if you feel you should be AF permanently, you really are a "newbie"
for a very very long time. One of the really tricky parts of this, at least for me, is that once you haven't had a drink for awhile in a very short time can feel so good like maybe you are not cured but you are much more stable than you think your are. Not to be pessimistic, but you truly can't get over confident. maybe after a year, or more, I don't know when you can start to get out of that "on gaurd" stage. You have all probably figured this out already but this is kind of new for me to wrap my head around. Aquamarine

[Taking Control]

Thursday- March 13

Beck,

I too, am concerned about the pressure of drinking once Lent is over. Just last night my husband asked me if I was going to drink on our Easter vacation getaway. He said that I'm not the same person when I don't drink. I guess he likes me better tipsy!!??

I guess what I'd like to be is a non-drinker that occassionally has a drink. Period.

tc

[cowgal]

Thursday- March 13

man

My husband has said "he likes me better when I am drinking", WOW, others have experienced that I guess..............I think I am ver serious when AF, so am trying to be more fun so he doesn't pressure me to drink so much...............

Just my experience, and I am w/ you all on this.................

MA:h:l

[APerry36]

Thursday- March 13

happy Sober Thursday everyone
beck- i feel you on the husband thing. my husband didn't love the idea of me not drinking either. i think he's afraid of what his family will think partly- because they're such big drinkers and i have always been a part of that. he actually told me that one of his fears was that i would be a 'stick in the mud'. (like no one has a personality if they're not hammered- i swear everyone's convinced themselves of that!) i have my first social event on saturday- afterwork hangout at a co-workers house. i'm already getting the "oh, c'mon just this one time...you can have a COUPLE drinks..." whininess from my co-workers. i'm going to have WAY more fun sober than any of them will have drunk (that's my plan) you know, i have actually had ppl ask me if i was drunk before when i was totally sober- i've always been kind of a 'clown' so i don't know why ANYONE would ever worry about me being a 'stick in the mud'. we've all got ourselves so brainwashed! i feel like alcohol had a time and a place and a purpose- like at highschool parties when everyone would have been lining the perimeter of a room staring at each other otherwise, but now that we're all confident adults it just doesn't really fit anymore- i don't need alcohol to make jokes with ppl or meet new ppl or get 'crazy'. i mean doesn't it seem like your inhibitions natutrally get lower and lower as you get older anyways- but there's no need to just throw them out a cliff! maybe i should just fake drink...there's really no great pseudo-excuse i can give to ppl who know me so well...

[Beck]

Thursday- March 13

TC, Cowgal, APerry,

Looks like I've hit a nerve. My husband is a classic moderate drinker - maybe 3 drinks per week. He really never knew how much or often I drank - I was like many others in that my husband being away was a trigger to drink. He really doesn't get alcoholic drinking. He does think I am fun when tipsy - he just has no idea how much AL it took to get me there! I'll just have be fun sober.

After lent, my plan is to make lame excuses for another 40 days or so - so much that I have read says that you really should be AF for 90 days. Then I'm either going to attempt moderation or I'm just going to quit making excuses and remain AF. Could go either way.

Beck

[cowgal]

Thursday- March 13

just had to get it out

I guess I just had to get that out, don't worry Beck about hitting a nerve, you sound like you have got a plan......................

Good for you, keep up the good work girlie!!!! I think you will do just fine!

Love ya!!

MA

[Janice]

Thursday- March 13

Perry, I went to an evening wedding do the other week when I was 3 days AF. I was determined not to drink and it was the best night out ever!!!! Hubby couldn't get me off the dance floor and had to drag me home!! I have never felt like that before. I felt happy, confident and sober!!! Amazing insight though into everyone drinking around me!!