A DUI for My Son

[retteacher]

We just got some unfortunate news about our 38 year old son. He received a DUI on Thurs. nite & had to spend a night in jail. He's had addiction problems for over 20 years (various substances) & has switched around from one thing to another. During 2007, he gave up pot & drinking took over. I spoke to him today, & he sounded pretty shaken up. He had never been arrested before, & the night in jail was hard on him. He seems pretty scared to face life wo/any kind of substance; however, he seems to think that's what this arrest is telling him. I can only hope so. I feel pretty worried & down, but this is in God's hands now. Even for a first offense, he could face jail time if the judge so chooses.

If anything, this crisis w/my son has strengthened my desire to stay sober. Without explaining exactly why, I told him that I no longer drink. I told him that I can still enjoy life wo/mood-altering substances. I don't know how much he heard of what I said.

I cringe when I think that I've driven under the influence. It's amazing how quickly your life can change...in the blink of an eye.

Thanks for being here. Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

A DUI for My Son

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Mary. I hope this is the wake-up call your son needs.

Take care of yourself, honey. Those of us who haven't gotten DUI's are truly lucky.

:l :l

[Chief]

A DUI for My Son

Mary,

I know what you are going through....I have experienced this with my oldest son.

It's hard to explain how it feels to watch one of our children experiencing the effects of alcohol abuse...to know you could save them so much trouble and heartache if they would just listen to you and change their ways now.....but that's not the way life works. We all have to learn for ourselves.....some do....some never do.

You have to play the hand you are dealt.......

Hopefully your son will learn from this...

My thoughts are with you, Mary...don't let this overwhelm you.

Don :l

[APerry36]

A DUI for My Son

sorry to hear that mary- DUI's can be devastating but they could also be a needed wake up call. i think about 70% of my friends have dui's (says something about my friend group...) but i can't help but to think i wonder if they all hadn't gotten stopped and arrested would they have all gotten home safely?? it makes me cringe too to think about the times i've driven drunk- it's like- i could've killed somebody! i that would be a lot harder to deal with then a DUI. i don't have any good advice-just wanted to say i'm sorry to hear that- i know you must feel kind of helpless

[Thankful]

A DUI for My Son

Mary ~ So sorry that your son has to go through this. This could have/be anyone of us.
It really makes you think.

You are a good mother. All you can do is advise and pray for the best when they are that age. I hope everything works out for the best. Maybe he needed the wakeup call.

Stay strong, Mary. I know you will.

Love, Me
:l

[Doggygirl]

A DUI for My Son

Hi Mary. I'm sorry to hear that your son is having to go through this. Like you and everyone here, I hope that this is the wake up call he needs.

Mary, he got there by his choices - not yours. Like so many of us - he is old enough to know better, but took those risks anyway. So I hope you are not feeling responsible for his mistake.

Hugs to you my friend,

DG
**

[Chief]

A DUI for My Son

I'm so glad Doggygirl is back...

[tlrgs]

A DUI for My Son

good to see the way you handlle the problem.you sound so strong and they say some times. it taks alot to get threw to a person and maybe he will learn from this.and thank god he didnt kill someone else drinkiing and driving

[retteacher]

A DUI for My Son

Many thanks for your words. All I can do is hope this is a wake-up call. He's really such a great guy, but his substance abuse probs have really hindered him. I keep looking at the bracelet my family got me for my b-day...the engraved words: "wisdom, strength, courage." I need those qualities now more than ever.

Mary

PS: I'm trying not to feel responsible, but I'm a parent, & that sense of responsibility sort of comes w/the territory.

[Accountable for Me]

A DUI for My Son

Sorry your son had to go through this. At least like tkeene said, at least no one was hurt and nothing tragic transpired. Maybe this is what he needed to kind of rattle something deep within him.

You, my dear, will be a tremendous source of strength for your son. You understand what it is like to be dependent on alcohol, and have such compassion for others. With your new found strength you will be able to help him - I just know it.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

A DUI for My Son

I'm very sorry to hear about this. My son is 18 and clearly has inherited the addicitve personality thing. At the end of the day, I guess they really are responsible for themselves. We can be there and offer all we have but they are ultimately responsible for their own actions. I'll pray for him, Take Care

[hart]

A DUI for My Son

((((Mary))))

It's hard hon. It's hard to see someone u luv make these mistakes. Wanna take on the pain...eh? Can't hon. Sounds like ur son does realize this may be a wake-up call. I hope for both ur sakes it is true. Can't take ur children's pain away from them...just can be an ear, arms to hold, person for them. That's tremendous hon. This to shall pass. :l

[aquamarine]

A DUI for My Son

Mary, So sorry to hear about your son. It must be very difficult to see him in that position.As others have said though maybe it is a blessing in disguise. I wish you well. Aquamarine

[retteacher]

A DUI for My Son

I spoke to him this AM. He sounded pretty subdued. He's open to AA (he says). I'm letting him take the lead, as he is 38 years old. If he lived closer to us, I'm sure my husband would probably take him to a meeting, but such is not the case. Again, this happened for a reason, & I do thank God he didn't kill someone or get killed himself. M

[Determinator]

A DUI for My Son

Mary, strength to you dear. I can't imagine what you are going through as we don't have kids. I guess all we can do is set a good example in our own behaviors and be ready to offer a loving hand when they are receptive.

We got a little snow last night and it's making for a beautiful bright morning with the rabbits bouncing around as though it's really warm. Those things just don't get cold I guess.
I'm off to the gym which I've been dying to do since my last 'real' workout last Sat.
Be well everyone!