Tuesday 1st April
Hello my Fellow Abbers!!
I wanted to think carefully about my monthly abs post today.
As many of you know, I checked into detox for 3 days, got on Antabuse before I got out. I am dealing with a very sick alcoholic daughter whose liver is not functioning well at all. She went into detox and came out and started drinking again immediately.
On top of that, work is well behind and I am getting all these e-mails, etc and trying to get on top of all that. The work alone would be enough stress for me.
By the time hubby got home last night, I was in the bath soaking because it was all I could think of to relax. He started bitching right off about me taking a bath midday and then started on other stuff that I have neglected in the last few weeks. (Okay, months.)
He kept on going and going and pretty soon my hands were shaking so badly that it was as bad as AL detox.
btw, the shaking was not just from him, it was all of it wrapped up together.
I tried to tell him to please stop but this guy just can't stop once he is started. I tried to explain that my anxiety level was getting pretty bad and to please just settle down and not talk about "important" things for a bit. OF course that set him off some more because he is stupid. Plain stupid.
Anyway, here I am, no AL to calm and soothe me, no benzos or anything as a quick fix, am taking the Gabapentin but it is not an immediate relief kind of med. And I am shaking so bad I couldn't hardly take a sip of water.
It suddenly hit me. I am having a serious anxiety issue and I have NO CHOICE BUT TO DEAL WITH IT HEAD ON.
No, the shakes did not stop right away, hubby did not shut up (oh boy, was I thinking of ways to shut him up!!) and work did not go away.
However, I did not die, I did not faint, I did not do anything except keep on going with making dinner and working on my client's server trying to figure out what the issues they are running into and how to fix them.
In other words, I did what "normal" people do. I just dealt with it.
I went to bed early and woke up once again sober and ecstatic to be that way. Today is my 15th day sober.
Love to all.
Cindi
Hello my Fellow Abbers!!
I wanted to think carefully about my monthly abs post today.
As many of you know, I checked into detox for 3 days, got on Antabuse before I got out. I am dealing with a very sick alcoholic daughter whose liver is not functioning well at all. She went into detox and came out and started drinking again immediately.
On top of that, work is well behind and I am getting all these e-mails, etc and trying to get on top of all that. The work alone would be enough stress for me.
By the time hubby got home last night, I was in the bath soaking because it was all I could think of to relax. He started bitching right off about me taking a bath midday and then started on other stuff that I have neglected in the last few weeks. (Okay, months.)
He kept on going and going and pretty soon my hands were shaking so badly that it was as bad as AL detox.
btw, the shaking was not just from him, it was all of it wrapped up together.
I tried to tell him to please stop but this guy just can't stop once he is started. I tried to explain that my anxiety level was getting pretty bad and to please just settle down and not talk about "important" things for a bit. OF course that set him off some more because he is stupid. Plain stupid.
Anyway, here I am, no AL to calm and soothe me, no benzos or anything as a quick fix, am taking the Gabapentin but it is not an immediate relief kind of med. And I am shaking so bad I couldn't hardly take a sip of water.
It suddenly hit me. I am having a serious anxiety issue and I have NO CHOICE BUT TO DEAL WITH IT HEAD ON.
No, the shakes did not stop right away, hubby did not shut up (oh boy, was I thinking of ways to shut him up!!) and work did not go away.
However, I did not die, I did not faint, I did not do anything except keep on going with making dinner and working on my client's server trying to figure out what the issues they are running into and how to fix them.
In other words, I did what "normal" people do. I just dealt with it.
I went to bed early and woke up once again sober and ecstatic to be that way. Today is my 15th day sober.
Love to all.
Cindi
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