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    #1

    Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

    Warning: Advanced Whining Ahead:

    My April AF goal went undefeated tonight despite being offered alcohol on several occasions tonight at my best friend's 40th birthday bash. It was not easy. In fact, it pretty much sucked and I left early. But I did it. Yeah me. Whoo hoo, whatever. I wish I were modding it would have been more fun, but I made a goal and I am sticking to it. Too bad I am not feeling pumped about this accomplishment. Instead I am depressed, resentful and angry. I can't wait for April to be over.
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    #2
    Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

    go girl go

    :happy::grouptrophy::cheering:croft i am so pourd of you . know it suck but you did it .and to tell you the truth .it brought tear to my eye.because i am so happy for you.
    :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
    best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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      #3
      Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

      WELL DONE
      there is no shame in losing a fight,, only in winning

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        #4
        Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

        Croft,

        What an amazing person you are. I only succeeded in AF when I was truly ready for it (I know you are only talking the 30 days goal but so was I at first!!) and when I had those angry and resentful feelings, I caved.

        You made a goal and by George you are stickin' to it!

        Kudos, Croft.

        By the end of this 30 days AF, you are going to be a different person in how you look at alcohol and yourself.

        You can decide then if you want to mod or AF or whatever.

        Love,
        Cindi
        XX
        AF April 9, 2016

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          #5
          Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

          Croft,

          I think it is great that you are sticking to your goal.

          I also understand how you feel. I once posted on the ABS thread that I felt I was the most reluctant sober person on MWO (I was well over 30 days AF at the time). I wanted that happy "I am a non-drinker" attitude that the others seemed to have. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't and feel resentful, edgy, etc. I just deal with those times as they come and they do come further apart now.

          Good luck in meeting your goal and remember that you can always mod in May.
          Beck
          Beck

          Sometimes you get there in spite of your route, losing track of your life and what it's about, the road seems to know when to straighten right out...Mary Chapin Carpenter

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            #6
            Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

            Hey Croft: Was looking for your April thread in Just Starting Out. This party was a big deal. You are having a tough time, but you still did it. THAT A BIG FRICKIN DEAL in my book. GREAT JOB!

            I'll join you in AF for the week as I need to step up the weight loss effort, and really mods is alot about AF days for me anyway. I know it feels hard, and remember you don't HAVE to do it - it is a choice.
            But let's do it together, OK? Let's go girl.
            G

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              #7
              Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

              secondchance;305396 wrote: Croft...I just want to add that a big part of success in giving up AL is attitude. It is going to remain difficult and miserable for you as long as you see it as such. Try not to think of it as depriving yourself, but rather as something good you are doing for yourself and your family. If you look at it as ONLY a 30 day committment (very doable) and not as an excruciatingly LONG entire month of April...you will actually be able to enjoy the benefits that being sober brings.

              I thought you had gone AF before, in February? And I seem to remember that you were ok with it then. What is different this time that is making it so difficult? And if I may ask, what made your decision to do 30 days (now I"M making it sound like a jail sentence or such) instead of just modding? t.
              I was a successful modster in February, not AFer.

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                #8
                Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

                Croft sister you have done a hard thing and you should feel really proud!

                and secondly, don't confuse the middle brain 'beast voice' with your own thoughts. it's hard but we learn to separate them and are better for it. the beastie critter is making excuses to drink, making you think you need to feel down and deprived. it's a sneaky bastard. and why wouldn't it be? it has all the resources of your own mind. but one thing it doesn't have going for it is the truth. the truth is that AL is not glamor or greatness. healthy clear mindedness IS.

                XXXXXXX
                nosce te ipsum
                (Know Thyself)

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                  #9
                  Survived a Big Birthday Bash AF

                  croft...hun...WHY..feel angry???...you chose to go you chose not to drink...and i am PROUD of you....just remember you chose and you chose right....you chose what would happen and not AL for that pat your back you are doing great..
                  Love always Jacqui xxx
                  Mwo,s worst speller....

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