Wednesday April 30th.

[Mohun]

Sneaking the first post in again. It is after midnight here, so it is Wednesday. 20 days AF and still going strong.

I am still on a business trip and am dealing with temptation quite nicely. It is funny though, watching other people drink and get drunk. It is amazing how much they can drink. Also, it much, much cheaper. I have barely spent any money this trip. I find myself going back to my hotel room fairly early in the evening and waking up fresh as a daisy.

Good luck to all today.

[barebones]

Wednesday April 30th.

morning mohun, congrats on ur 20 days, u go girl.

yeah im the same i watch people drinking and think glad im not there anymore,also i think what are they trying to hide.

ohwell i hope everyone has a good day, so take care everyone

day 61 AF
have been quit for 2 Days, 6 hours, 57 minutes and 6 seconds (2 days). I have saved ?22.66 by not smoking 91 cigarettes. I have saved 7 hours and 35 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 28/04/2008 00:00

[Seen the light!]

Wednesday April 30th.

Moning Mohun or should I say night night,

Glad you're feeling good - 20 days is v good keep going x

Well guys I'm still feeling a bit rattled today. Last night I read the "tough love take it or leave it" thread on general discussion from start to finish and it made me feel a bit deflated. Maybe it's because it made me look at myself and what I have been doing since I joined MWO.

I know I have slipped every weekend since joining (that's about 6 weeks ago) so really I haven't been giving 100% effort have I? All I know is that I would have drunk a hell of a lot more if I wasn't coming here. I know I feel much better when I am not drinking that is for sure. I also know that I am slowly improving my performance at work as this has been gradually slipping over the last couple of years.

I suppose I am just taking this opportunity to justify my reasons for coming here and posting every day. I do this because I like to read how people are doing, how they are coping and I like to share how I am feeling. It's just good to know that I am not alone in this.

I gave up smoking almost two years ago - what a battle that was! I lost count of the amount of attempts I had and now I wouldn't entertain it. I feel exactly the same as I did then - I knew it had to go and couldn't settle until I'd conquered it.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is I want to hang around until I kick this thing once and for all and hope this is ok with everyone - I only really use this thread to share on.

Maybe this is the kick in the arse I need - who knows only time will tell I know that but it's sure got me going!

Hope this wasn't too depressing first thing in the morning!! Hope you all have a wonderful day xxxxx

[Seen the light!]

Wednesday April 30th.

Barebones we cross posted - good luck on your stopping smoking - it was the hardest but also the best thing I've ever done xxxxx

[rustop61]

Wednesday April 30th.

Hi everyone

Seen, dont be hard on yourself. I think it was Bessie who said take what you need from the boards and ignore the rest. Keep right on posting here every day and letting us know how you are getting on. Lots of us have slipped and started right back again. I was encouraged to read that Chief who I really admire achieved his sobriety on his third attempt of MWO. For some reason I had always assumed that he started and became AF straight away. Thank you for sharing that with us Chief.

I'm looking forward to an AF May. I get a bit lax about the cd's, supplements etc as time goes on but I'm starting all of it again tomorrow.

Rushing off at the moment so hello to everyone. Have a great day.

Rustop

[wantrealmeaning]

Wednesday April 30th.

Morning All,

Seen, I have no problem with you posting on this thread. Your on a journey of self discovery, any journey has setbacks and they're there to learn from. I have struggled long and hard for 7yrs and only now feel like I'm getting somewhere. I've learnt a hell of a lot about myself in those 7yrs though. I have read the thread your talking about, I think it's really good with a lot of valid points from everyone who's posted. It's a good thing that it's got you going, rattled is good, so is looking at yourself.
Ask yourself some ?'s and answer them REALLY honestly. Do you really want to quit? Do you think you really NEED to quit? Is it affecting your realationships with your boys, husband included? Is what you drink affecting your self esteem, confidence and appearance? Do you think you could moderate? By moderate I mean sticking to the 14 units a week and not all in one go at the weekend . I feel that perhaps you could do with looking at your friendships aswell, who are real friends and who are just social aquaintances? What your trying to do is a brave good thing, especially in the drinking culture we live in, you really don't need some sado so called friend trying to belittle you for doing something positive for youself, so I'd stay away and f**k em. We start a new month tomorrow Seen, why don't you see if you can get through the month AF and then see how you feel, not a life time commitment just for May?? I hope I haven't overstep the mark with you in anyway, I wouldn't like to see you disappear off these boards......

Mary, I think your doing a fantastic job with your sobriety in the face of everything that's been going on, your really winning the battle. Hope hubby is healing nicely.

Janice, sorry to hear your confidence is low. Could it be a clash of personalities with this new teacher, please don't be hard on youself, I imagine your job is stressfull enough without you giving yourself a bash when you get home, NO MORE JANICE BASHING:tsk:
I feel so saddened by your mam's situation, it's such a shame all round, life can sometimes be just too much. I'm sending all three of you cyber hugs, brother, mammy & you, :l:l:l. It's good to pour out your thoughts, much better than letting them fester inside.

OMW, hope your feeling better from your cold.

Cindi, You sound so good & positive. How's your daughter and when can she come home?

I was in bed by 9:30 last night, It's that time if the month, that's why i've been so shattered (soz guys). When I was drinking my PMS was so much worse than this with hideous hangovers to match. Appart from my being really tired over the last few days, I couldn't feel better.

I've prattled on far too long now. The sun's out now so that's me in the garden for my daily therapy.

Hope everyone is having a good day, stay strong

want
xxxxxx

[retteacher]

Wednesday April 30th.

Seen: I don't have time right now to read the whole thread that you are referring to. Perhaps later. I just want to say that your journey is yours alone. Only you know how much you want sobriety, & only you know the amount of committment you're putting into it. I've been at MWO for a little more than a year. In that year, I've had many, many more AF days than I ever had before coming here. I had long stretches which I broke w/slips & relapses. However, I feel that I'm reaching my goal of AF an life in my own way.

I cannot leave MWO. This is the only place I can be truly honest & get the kind of support I need. I won't chide or scold anyone for how they are doing their recovery. That is not my place. Please don't leave us. We need you. Mary

[Beck]

Wednesday April 30th.

Hi All,

Getting tired - doing so much for others is beginning to drag me down...

Janice, read your post yesterday. Hope today dawned a bit happier for you today. Now we get to deal with our lives soberly and it's not always easy. I'm sure your confidence will return as you get into a routine with the new teacher and new charge. Be well...

Seen, you certainly belong here. The journey is different for all. Regarding the thread yesterday, everyone has different opinions and they were aired in a positive manner. Only you can decide if you are making your most honest effort - those of us here will be nothing but supportive.

Rustop, I didn't know that about Chief either - found it interesting as well.

Want, already in the garden today - you are doing great!

Mary, as always appreciate that you are here and are so up front about your struggles.

Lor, I know you've had some tough days. Sounds like you are hanging in...continued strength.

Aqua, how's the job search going? I went 6 years without working - went back for 2 1/2 and haven't had a job since October when we moved back to the states. Think about going back sometimes but I am finding that as my kids get older (15,13,11,7) it is more important that I be home before and after school.

Mohun, it is great that you are learning to handle life soberly, I basically hid for my first 30 days.

Time to go,
Beck

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday April 30th.

Seen, there will always be some people on the board who want the attention but don't really want to work that hard. They usually aren't posting on monthly abs. I have had my slips, and have continued to post on monthly abs through those slips. It was very important to me that people continued to support me and believe that I could do it WHEN I WAS READY. We didn't make a big fuss about it. I kept reading and posting, and when I was ready to do AF again, I started. My desire never wavered, but sometimes my abilities did! It took me until my third attempt to reach more than 3 weeks, and the weekends were certainly hard.

I have a theory that once we make it through our first weekend, we really KNOW we can do it, and that it the point where we really know that there are NO MORE EXCUSES . It's hard to get through the first weekend, because success is just as scary as failure.

Just my thought for the day.

I've been doing okay, everyone. I read every day, but I've been so busy. I'll fill you all in later.

Meanwhile, love to all....:h

:l :l

[Mohun]

Wednesday April 30th.

Just a quick point of clarification, I am a man (when my wife says so).

[aquamarine]

Wednesday April 30th.

Hi Everyone.
Seen- I read the Tough Love post also. I didn't respond because I had some pretty strong feelings surrounding it and I wanted to wait so I wouldn't come off the wrong way. Although I think it was well intended and got alot of really great positive responses. It is sad to me that it made you feel deflated and question if your "effort" or performance warrants being here. Please do not feel that way at all. You are here for all the right reasons and I think are dealing with this struggle in a very admirable and normal way. I think it is a very very rare individual that does not make many attempts and many slips( for long periods and short) before they truly have solid footing in this struggle. This place (in my opinion) is for people to share their accomplishments, and equally important ,their failures and be recieved with open arms and constructive support. I think when different people are at different stages in the whole process they might take different things or feel different ways about others' particular experiances and struggles and the particular way they are reaching out for help at that moment. They might feel different than they did a few months earlier when they were in a different place. I think Bessie did make a great point that you just take ,or respond ,to what you want and leave the rest if it is disturbing to you. I don't feel like it is my place to judge anyones response to others . Even if someone keeps coming back and continues to be in a bad place maybe that once your encouragement will get through just a little bit. Sorry I got a little long winded but just want to be sure you know that you are valuable here.
Beck- I still have to get my resume together. I have two boys- 12 and 15 and am really nervous about not being around after school. I am hoping to get something where I will be home around 4o so it won't be too late. I love this age in many ways but it is also very scary at times.
Mohun- 20 days is great.I really admire your strength being away and not drinking. That would be very difficult for me. Great Job! It is very interesting to observe people drinking when you are not. It can make you think what a silly , waste of time habit it really is. Although I never want to turn into one of those nondrinkers who constantly keeps track of what others are drinking and secretly, or not, criticizes them for it. But nevertheless it is interesting to observe.
Hi to Mary, Barebones, Rustop,Want, and all to come. Be Well and Stay Strong! Aquamarine

[Mohun]

Wednesday April 30th.

Hi Aquamarine. I agree with your comment about not wanting to criticize others for their drinking. All I can think about is that "that was me" just a few weeks ago. Most of them do not drink as much as I thought they did. I was probably imagining they did to feel better about how much I was drinking. There are only a couple of hard core drinkers in the group.

Funny thing is though that my peers who drink responsibly seem not to care about me not drinking. The hard core drinkers have been trying to drag me back into the fold. I think it must be something about misery loving company, or perhaps justifying their own bad habits. The longer I am on this trip, the more I am 100% positive that I have made the right choice.

[retteacher]

Wednesday April 30th.

Seen: I didn't read every word of the "tough love" thread, but I got the gist of it. I came to MWO a little over a year ago. I drank like crazy the first few months (though I never posted drunk), because I was still in denial about how alcoholic my drinking really was. In August, I started my first long AF stint & broke it in the Fall. Since then, I've had many more AF days than drinking days. In the over 365 days I've been here, I've had maybe 20 - 25 drinking days. That's pretty good for someone who drank as much as I have. I wouldn't have wanted to have anyone berate me for slipping. I berated myself quite thoroughly when I did it. When people said:
-"Put this behind you."
-"Get right back into it."
-etc.
I didn't feel coddled. I felt encouraged.

Nobody said:
-"It's OK that you slipped."
-"Don't worry about it."
-etc.

I come to this forum & this thread, because I feel like the people here are truly committed. I think that the people who aren't committed fall away from MWO on their own. I don't feel like they need any encouragement from me to do that. I feel that I should be accepting of everyone's recovery journey wo/condoning & saying it's perfectly OK.

Take care of your sobriety. Some of the people on this forum/thread who have very long sobriety had many, many upsets. It would be great to hear from them.

Mary

[Determinator]

Wednesday April 30th.

(ditto what's been said about the tough love thing)

Happy Wednesday me loverly ABbers far and wide!

Im really looking forward to an uneventful day after yesterday's scare with the brush fire and things getting destroyed in our horrible wind storm. I think a nice boring day will be just fine

I also had several attempts at AF/MODS since joining and every time I learned something about myself. And it's not like I'm out of the woods either....I'm only ever one stupid decision away from detox.

be well friends

[Cinders]

Wednesday April 30th.

Good Morning Abbers!!

Doing great here.

Mohun - :H Glad you wife lets you know from time to time you are a man.

Seen - My concern when Thankful started that thread is exactly what your response is. You feel like you don't belong here because you are not being successful at quitting. I am quite sure that is not what she meant to convey at all but I knew it would come across that way. I am sure her motives were simple, so many people do seem surprised when the do the supps, get the cds, etc, that they are not magically able to quit. I have heard that before.

Thankful was just making sure everyone knows that this is not easy, even with the MWO program and dedication has to go into it.

But, this forum is not for the successful only, it is for everyone. No matter if you are actively trying to quit, thinking about trying to quit, trying to mod, thinking about trying to mode, etc.

Please do not be deterred from being here. We value your presence.

Love,
Cindi