Wednesday 14th May

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all.

Day 14 for those of us attempting AL free May's. As someone said a few days ago"only another 26 of these and we'll have done a year"

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to stick with it through the really hard days because it is now becoming easier. Once again I managed to stay awake until 10.30 so this exhaustion is starting to lift. Stayed up to watch Waking the dead. Am I the only one who remembers Trevor Eve as a bit of alright from Shoestring? I can't begin to remember how many years ago that was. Just to fill in the non Brits they are/were UK TV programmes.

Cindi, was so glad to hear that the wedding went well. You and your little princess certainly deserved it.

Am planning to continue trying to turn myself back into a normal human being at the end of my commute. So if anyone else has any practical ideas feel free to share.

Look I've done it a whole post without talking about the weather!

Hope you all have good days and if you have slipped that you don't feel too bad, pick yourself up and try again.

[jessie]

Wednesday 14th May

Hi everyone,
I feel sad and even confused. Managed 11 days AF of the 14 I commited myself to. Then skipped the Antabuse from Sunday onwards and then thought a glass of sherry on Monday night is a good idea. Sigh. 1 bottle of sherry, 1 bottle of white wine and 6 beers later..............and I'm sitting with a headache this morning and so depressed.
Al is a sneaky demon.
Jessie

[Loppy lugs]

Wednesday 14th May

Oh Jessie,

Don't beat yourself up, anyone can slip up. A chunk of the blues will be the alcohol, it is after all a depressant.

I think antabuse is a very useful tool at keeping us off alcohol but to work we have to keep taking it. I must admit to being surprised that you were able to drink so shortly after stopping taking it. I have been told to avoid alcohol for 2 weeks after stopping. I remember how supportive you were when I first started out.

Will you be able to have some "me" time today? You did so well I'm sure you could do so again. You are not alone so many on this site have had slips, learnt whatever they needed to from it and started again.

Sending you loads of supportive thoughts

[wantrealmeaning]

Wednesday 14th May

Morning Loppy, wow you do get up early, really pleased it's becoming easier for you. I can't remember what your goals are, abs or eventual mods? Things have been much easier for me since I truly, deep down inside accepted that I will never be able to drink like a 'normal' person, moderation is like Chinese water tourchure for me.
Loppy, watching the sunset sounds like a lovely idea.

Jessie, so sorry you slipped, try not to beat yourself up, learn from it, try and understand how AL relates to you, better the devil you know, if you know what I mean. The better you know the way the sneaky bastards works the better you'll be able to outwit him the next time he comes tempting you. :l.

My ex needed a ride home last night, his car is in the garage, by the time I got back the kid's had over taken the computer and I couldn't be bothered argueing with them.

Rustop, so sorry to here of your loss. They're are no words to take your pain away. She put up such a long fight, God bless. I hope you can get some comfort in the knowledge that she is no longer in any pain. I really hope you can get through your initial grief as AF as possible :soothe:.

Hi Hannah, welcome back.

Popeye, belated congrats on 30 days and Beck, belated congrats :jumpwow: on 100 days.

Beck, I agree, you really should get yourself an avatar.

Det, I've read quite a bit into intestinal candida overgrowth and I posted a link about its connection with alcoholism, can't remember where I posted it but will look and repost it in 'wholistic healing'.

Mary, your bracelet sounds lovely. I hope that I'm not speaking out of turn here, but I've been thinking for a while that you really don't seem to give yourself enough credit for your achievments.

"Wisdom, Courage, Strength." I haven't taken it off since I received it. I look at those words & aim to deserve them.

Mary, not only do you deserve them, you truly already have them, I can feel them in your posts.

Janice, it was comforting making the planter for my friend, I was talking to her while doing it, I talk to her often anyway, I bet you do with your dad. I'm not going to take it to here grave just yet, I want to give it a couple of good feeds with miracle grow. I think my friend and your dad will be very proud of us :h. I'm going to see her mum this morning after I've dropped the kids off at school. I haven't seen her since xmas cause of being ill so I'm really looking forward to giving her a great big hug :l.

Cindi, really pleased the wedding went well. How did the AA meet go? Hope it helped you.

Well, I got another busy day ahead of me and a trampolining performance to watch tonight that my son is in so not sure if I'll get back on.

Hope everyone has a lovely positive AF day.

Love
Want
xxxx
:h

[jinja]

Wednesday 14th May

Good morning all

Sorry for your slip Jess - get back on that horse straight away!

Congrats Becks for 101!!

Congrats Cindi for your daughter's big day!!

I'm awash with self-pity today - sleep is rubbish, dreams are crazy, wake up exhausted & stiff. Coming of ADs & have brain problems today. It's like a stutter between my eyes & brain - like strobe lighting with electricity in there. Also, mouth is tingly & electric. Feel totally pants!!! But AF!

B******d from SA signing off.

Take care
xxx

[Lorelei]

Wednesday 14th May

My sugery on Friday went well although the mass was larger than they thought it was, 7 stitches total to close it up. I will say that stitches on a boob have to be the most god awful itchy place one could get stitches. Of course I try and stand the itching but in general I grab myself way too often for good taste. :H

Today is my day 30 and I'm PMSing so bad I'm not even enjoying it. I've been up 45 minutes and I've already found 3 things I wanna cry over. Hopefully the spring weather will kick me out of my blues.

-lorelei

[jessie]

Wednesday 14th May

Oh Lorelrei, I'm so proud of your 30 days. You probably read that I slipped on day 11, but I'm up and going again. Will beat the devil Al.
Itching? try a rubber band on your wrist - whenever you find yourself going for a scratch pull the rubberband as far as it can go, and let go. Ouch!
Jessie.

[Cinders]

Wednesday 14th May

Good Morning everyone!!

Am sitting here rather foggy headed but it is NOT a hangover, just jet lag and staying up late because the AA meeting was so late.

Jessie, do not worry about your slip. As others say, let this slip be a great learning lesson!! I did exactly the same as you only it was after 50 some days. It showed me in a serious way that 1. I am still, and will always be I am afraid, an alcoholic. 2. Antabuse is my friend.

One thing I do want to say to everyone is that anyone of us who slip but do not walk down that slippery slope of relapse is doing great. We have come a long, long way.

I have to hurry and get to work this morning. Apparently my client is very upset because their hardware problem has not yet been resolved and it has been going on for weeks. Who can blame them? Even though I am not responsible for that piece, I guess I need to jump in and figure out how to help them. At least I will try.

I hope all have a wonderful day and remember, we are here together working toward a common goal. Healing. It makes me feel so good to see so many do well and it makes me feel good that so many are here with me.

Before I came to MWO, I was so alone and scared. Today I know I have friends who understand and care and in turn, I care about all of you. We are so much stronger because we are here together.

Love, strength and happiness to all.
Cindi

[jessie]

Wednesday 14th May

Deep and heart felt thanks Cindi,Wantrealmeaning,Jinja,Loppy Lugs. this site is wonderful! Well, tomorow day 1 again.
Love
Jessie.

[Lila]

Wednesday 14th May

Hi all,
Today is day 15 for me. It is getting better. I hope to see you all in chat sometime. My kids hog the computer too, it's a new era. Jinja, when I went off zoloft, only 50 mg, and I tried to taper - I still had those brain shivers. I hated it. It will go away, but it is creepy.
Bye
Lila

[4theboyz]

Wednesday 14th May

Good Morning Abbers!!

It must be the gloomy weather that is rubbing us all the wrong way today. Between the thunderstorms and vivid dreams all last night, I did *not* want to get up today! I forgot how tough these early days are!! IT feels like I'm trudging through mud with lead boots on - Yuck! I also forgot how much AL F%&@'s up your thought process. I'm standing here this AM trying to have a conversation with a co-worker and the words are in my head but they just won't flow out!! They are like soggy caramel corn all stuck together !! At least I can blame my speech handicap on the lack of sleep from the weather!

*Anyway*, Jessie as long as you keep at it you will continue to learn and grow stronger in your efforts - keep going, it *is* worth doing!

Jinja I found Chamomile tea and Valerian root helpful in calming the light show in the skull, but it will ease up on you soon - hang in there!

Lorelei - Relish those 30 days and don't let your PMS thingy ruin this wonderful achievement!! Super great job!!

Lila - Awesome job with those 15 days those are *tough* days to get through, you must be doing something right - keep it up!!

Well must get back to work have a great AF day everyone!!

[retteacher]

Wednesday 14th May

Lorelei: Congratulations on the 30 AF days you've accumulated. That is truly wonderful.

Jessie: I've slipped a few times in the 13 months I've been here at MWO. I'm not proud of that, but I didn't let the slips (& even binges) slide into a prolonged relapse. That's why MWO is so great.

I too understand deep inside that I cannot drink normally. Whenever I "try" I end up drinking a lot. That is not how normal drinkers drink. I've seen w/my own eyes how they drink:
-they leave drinks unfinished.
-they sip (as opposed to gulp).
-they aren't always eyeing the bottle to determine when they can pour another.
-they put half empty bottles back in the fridge.
-etc.
I cannot do any of the above things.

Lately, I've been trying to unravel the triggers that get me started. I know stress & upset do it for me. The more I work through those difficult situations, the more confidence I will have in myself. I don't have to numb out hoping all my problems go away. I also know that I can fall asleep (one of my prime reasons for starting to abuse alcohol) eventually wo/alcohol. Even if I'm tired the next day, it sure beats the physical & emotional hangover that comes w/drinking into the night.

I hope all is well w/everyone here at the daily thread. I can't say enough about you. You keep me going. You help me when I slip (Thank you Want for reminding me not to be such a perfectionist about myself.). Take care of your sobriety. I'm going to clip my puppy, clean the house, & go for a walk, but I'm NOT going to drink. No, I'm not going to pick up a drink today.

Mary

[time2change]

Wednesday 14th May

Good morning to all. It is always so nice to log in here and see how supportive everyone is of one another.

Mary- I have to agree that I think you don't give yourself enough credit for how far you have come. You have inspired so many to keep at this and that is a huge blessing.

I am having a harder time the last few days. Today is day 16 and my last AF stretch ended after 20 days. For some reason I have been having doubts that I can really be a completely AF person. Seems like alot if us go through this stage and I will need to remind myself of that.

Hope everyone has a lovely AF day.

[retteacher]

Wednesday 14th May

Time: Push those doubts away. I have them too & know now that I MUST be AF. I can't have good physical, emotional, & spiritual health if I drink (which I ALWAYS do to excess). Just for today, we are going to stay sober. You don't have to think about the rest of your life. After a long enough period of abs, I hope the doubts become a non-issue. Good luck. Mary

[Mohun]

Wednesday 14th May

I think it is day 34 AF for me.

I think it is natural to have self-doubt at around your stage Time. The novelty wears off and the reality starts to sink in. I guess that is why they recommend at least 30 days before anyone tries to moderate. Good luck and stay on the path. :goodjob:

Cheers,

Mo.