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My first week with MWO

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    My first week with MWO

    Hi all :new: ? We haven?t ?met? yet, but I?ve been lurking on the MWO boards for the past month while moderating my drinking. :hallo: The support, friendship and insight here is truly amazing!! But now that I?ve decided to take the plunge into cyberspace (I?ve never been on any forum before) and to abstain, I?m feeling a bit lost with all the different threads going. I started out with a group of newbies on a 14-day thread that seems to have fizzled out. Yet I find I really need to focus to make this happen, and I need someone to hold my hand?

    I started out with a very specific reason for wanting the 14 days at this point in time ? now that I?ve booked the flights it?ll have to be 20 days, at least. I?ve been drinking in response to stress for a long time, increasingly so after my dad was diagnosed with an incurable illness a few years ago. The last couple of times I?ve gone to visit him, I?ve drunk myself silly every night. I can?t moderate around him and his situation. So my choices during those visits are either to drink, get more anxious and worry him or to abstain altogether. I opted for the latter this time and thought I?d best get cracking before the trip. I feel really encouraged to have the first AF week under my belt (yay!), and hopefully the physical detox is done. But the psychological one is just beginning. I?m an emotional drinker, I?m heading for Trigger City in a few days and I don?t actually see the stress letting up for quite a while.

    I had intended to write an intro blurb in the Starting Out section, but after this first week, a few things have happened. I?m feeling more fragile and, selfish though this sounds, think I need to park myself firmly in an abstinent corner of this wonderful website with maybe initially just a subset of all the people who are on MWO. I?m also starting to think past 14 or 20 days to an abstinent month, or summer, or beyond. I hope to build up my energy to be able, in time, to offer others the positive support I?ve seen on these boards. Meanwhile, I?ll just try to hang in there and stay the course with all of you, one day at a time. Thanks for listening! :thanks:

    #2
    My first week with MWO

    Welcome Pamina. You've come to the right forum. I suggest you start doing the daily check ins.

    Also, when you go on this trip, have specific plans on how you are going to deal with the situations. It is a good idea not to drink in that sort of stressful situation.

    Who knows, once you get to 30 days, you may start to like this feeling.

    Good luck and keep coming back and posting. Actually, you may want to start with today.

    Mo.

    Comment


      #3
      My first week with MWO

      Hello Pamina,

      I can't imagine being in your shoes as everyday life is a challenge enough for me let alone having to deal with an incurable illness of a loved one. That is a set of coping skills not in my repertoire.

      We all have our own emotional needs and they are very important but they can easily get neglected by our own efforts to avail ourselves to those around us. I think these neglected needs are what got many of into trouble with AL in the first place.

      MWO is a great place to put out any needs you might have! Just ask! There is always someone here with something to give.

      Needless to say, you will find lots of support for your efforts on MWO and I find this thread has a lot of grounded folks who have survived the trial and error phase of AL and readily share their positive experiences.

      I have also found the discussion here of surrendering instead of fighting a very compelling concept but something I have not yet given much more than a drive by glance to. There is so much here to have in the way of support and recovery strategies you will be in good hands and I wish you all the best in your journey.

      4tb
      Is Addiction Really a Disease?
      Watch this and find out....
      http://youtu.be/ekDFv7TTZ4I

      Comment


        #4
        My first week with MWO

        Hi Pamina,

        How sad that your dad is ill. Unfortunately many of us have been in your shoes. It will be so much better for you to remain sober during this difficult time for many reasons the foremost being that you won't be helping anyone if you're lit up and that later you'll be glad to remember the last moments and not have them lost in a fog. I hope that you can check in with us often - we'll help you.

        DC
        The untold want, by life and land ne?er granted,
        Now, Voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find.

        W Whitman


        90+ days yay!

        Comment


          #5
          My first week with MWO

          Pamina: You can do it. Welcome to MWO. Mary
          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
          October 3, 2012

          Comment


            #6
            My first week with MWO

            welcome

            Pamina, welcome,:welcome: sorry you are dealing with alot, please come and check in often. We are all here to help eachother, so would love to help you in this journey!!

            Again, welcome, and hugs....................:l:l

            love,:l:h

            MA
            :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

            Comment


              #7
              My first week with MWO

              Pamina, welcome to MWO. You have made a wise decision to try to abstain instead of moderate during this time. You obviously know yourself very well to have made this decision, and I applaud you for making it. It is very considerate of you to want to stop giving your father a reason to worry.

              You've come to the right place at MWO. You will find a lot of support here, and you will also learn to find your way around the board quicker than you think! I don't know if you have read the book yet or if you take any of the supplements, but I highly recommend them. We have a daily thread here on 30-day Abs, and there can be good stuff on Just Starting Out, too. If you need anything special here, just start your own thread. You will get lots of responses.

              AF as of August 5th, 2012

              Comment


                #8
                My first week with MWO

                Hi PAmina,

                I think the other thread fizzled out because I left my lap top power cord in the office on Friday and couldn't power up my computer! But I too have got a bit lost with several threads having a daily check in ...... at the moment I'm using Bessie's ODAT one.

                I'm with you on the abstinence goal - I think I really need it too. And I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about my ability to do it. My absolute deadline for doing this is 1 June ....... but actually I have been thinking about bringing it forward a week.
                Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

                Harriet Beecher Stowe

                Comment


                  #9
                  My first week with MWO

                  Pamina - welcome! Like you, I had never been in a forum before - I found this site at the end of 2006 and then fell off the wagon - but have come back with a vengeance this time... I definitely get weak at times - but if I'm near a computer I check in here or try the live chat. I'm not taking the meds and don't have the CDs, but haev read the book and am using most of the vitamin recommendations.

                  Aunty Mame - go for it - move it up a week. The only thing you have to lose is the hangover!

                  I am on day 20 AF right now - and honestly wasn't sure I could get this far. The people in this thread have been the reason I am confident about getting to day 30!
                  Be well!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    My first week with MWO

                    Hi Pamina,

                    You sound so determined to do this.

                    I'm sure you can. I truly believe that your mind is your biggest obstacle in the battle with AL.

                    This sounds a bit corny, but I just visualize myself in the future looking confident, fit and happy. I see myself laughing and surrounded by friends and family.

                    I really find that this has a massive impact on my daily thoughts and actions.

                    I am really sorry to hear about your father.

                    It can be very difficult.

                    Just think how proud he will be when he sees you AF, happy and in control of your life.

                    Good luck and congrats on your success.

                    Warm Regards

                    Brett.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      My first week with MWO

                      Pamina,

                      I have come back to this thread several times today and it has sparked many thoughts. Thanks!

                      I'm so new at this that I feel like anything I have to say would be trite .... but I'm very much with you in spirit.

                      FSA36 - the visualisation thing was great .... it crystallised something that I had been thinking about. The me I want to be.

                      47B - like the "surrendering not fighting" thing. Want to start a thread on that????? I would be interested in some discussion on it.

                      DogLvr - thanks ..... I think I will!
                      Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

                      Harriet Beecher Stowe

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My first week with MWO

                        WOW, the power of posting! It feels so amazing to put something out there and get responses ? thank you all!! :h

                        Mo ? many thanks for your suggestions. I?m not used to asking for help AND I find it daunting to splash my life onto the web, but I?m already beginning to feel the power of sharing and I see it in what people are saying. Having specific plans is a good idea, I?m working on that.

                        4tb ? I?m afraid I don?t have the coping skills either! Never did graduate from ?Coping 101?, and now I?m supposed to handle ?Advanced Coping?!?! But I agree with you about looking after our own needs and taking steps to protect ourselves. I?m still practicing the asking bit? I haven?t come across the surrender/fight concept yet ? where was that discussed?

                        DC, Retteacher, Cowgal ? Thank you for your kind words. It feels very comforting to know that others have been there and are holding out their hand. :l

                        YAH - Thank you for the affirmation. I do think my decision is the right one, sticking to it will be the hard part. I have read the book and have all the supplements, except the Allinone which is yet to arrive. I?m not doing the topa.

                        Doglvr
                        ? Way to go with 20 days! We all get weak but the trick is finding a way to bounce back. You are an inspiration!

                        Brett
                        ? I like the clarity and directness of your writing. I am indeed determined in my head, but the problem will be the emotional wobbles along the way. The visualization is a good idea as that can steer thoughts back in a positive direction. I?m heartened to hear it works for you.

                        Aunty Mame
                        ? No worries luv, it?s not your fault about the thread. People are considering their goals and moving around. Jump in here with the abbers when you feel ready. But take your time to consider what?s right for you. I didn?t just make this up last week, I?ve been mulling it over since xmas. I then moderated consciously from March with some slippage when I?d hit those wobbles. It?s now crystal clear to me that I need to abstain for now. Probably for quite a while. With moderation, you have to worry about the units which takes head space, and AL is still on the table as a stress management tool. And then there?s the ever present possibility that you fall thru the wormhole. In my current situation, I view AL (along with all its other harmful consequences) as an unnecessary ambush that?s keeping me from learning what I need to learn to get thru what I need to get thru. I?m afraid it?s back to ?Coping Skills 101? for me?

                        Well good people, thank you for your words of encouragement. :thanks: I travel to Trigger City tomorrow, and that?s when the trials and tribulations truly begin. Wish me luck!

                        xx Pamina.

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