Sunday 25 May

[Loppy lugs]

Morning all,

Well this is my third attempt to start this thread. I think we will all be grateful when cheerful Loppy Lugs makes a reappearance. It is chucking it down here, so no beautiful dawn to lift my spirits.

Flyin I hope things are smoother with you today.

I am still on the rollercoaster. Two new emotions entered my repertoire yesterday, negativity and self pity. I won't bore you with the details of my day which as you will have gathered was not one of my most successful ones, but some times I have to laugh at myself, I am so ridiculous.

I can tell you all I've had a bad day yesterday but I can't bring myself to come here when I am actually feeling unhappy and say "folks can I have some help please" and the gardeners amongst you really would have advised me not to get stuck into a leylandi in short sleeves with a hack saw!

So anyway yesterday late afternoon, the world is against me etc.. and I'm feeling really low... I'd have done anything not to feel like that.....I just wanted a good sob to make me feel better. Couldn't do it.... Half an hour later I find myself on the rainbow bridge page of an animal charity forum. I cried my heart out for the loss that total strangers had experienced. I felt a lot better after that, but how mucked up are my emotions if I can cry for total strangers but not for myself?

I would love to tell you how much fun I had yesterday on my new wii fitness but it was out of stock, so going to make the trek up to Tottenham Court Road (main electronics shopping area in London) to make sure I get one today.

Hope everyone had a better day than I did.

I'd also like to mention that the antabuse keeps me from taking a drink, but you lot keep me taking the pills. Don't know what I'd do without you.

[Doggygirl]

Sunday 25 May

Hi Loppy. Thaks for starting the Sunday thread. I haven't had the chance to get to know you well yet, but my heart goes out to you for the rough patch you are having right now. I hope the clouds lift for you soon (both literally and figuratively!)

When I quit smoking I frequented a support forum tales from the quit. Much like RJ, the board owner has documented his own journey with giving up the smokes, and is a very good thinker and writer. He has a section on the forum called "Behind the Smokescreen." What he means by that phrase is that when we quit smoking, we start realizing that we tend to put off dealing with problems "until later" by lighting up, then lighting up again, etc. Once we stop lighting up, those issues we have been neglecting tend to get in our faces. I certainly found that to be true, and I believe the very same thing is true with drinking - maybe even to a greater degree. So not only do we get to deal with breaking an addiction, but we also get to deal with whatever baggage we have been hiding behind the liquor cabinet.

I'm not sure if what you are going through has anything at all to do with that line of reasoning. I apologize if there is something more specific that has happened to you recently and I missed it because I've been absent, and only back for a few days now.

Anyway, hugs to you!!!!!

I'm getting ready to catch up on my accounting work now. But I know I'll be back later for all of your continued support!! Thank you so much for being here, and being so open and accepting of all things human.

DG
****

[retteacher]

Sunday 25 May

Hi LL & DG: I'm going to meet my friend & walk our doggies. I'm very happy to do this non-hungover...I can't count the number of times I've done w/a hangover. I stayed AF yesterday & plan an AF day today. I have lots to do, including b-sitting the little g-sons later in the day. I'll try to check back later. Mary

[flyinhigh]

Sunday 25 May

Good morning all....thanks Loppy for the hope of higher feeling.....not true yet. I am still quite pissy and it's ashame for bf is the one who thinks I am upset with him. It is hard to get those in our lives that don't understand this struggle to support us. He is so sweet and I am being such a B*TCH!!!
So instead of wallowing in this morbid state, I am off to the tennis courts to hopefully release some of this tension.
Today is day 29......

flyin

[retteacher]

Sunday 25 May

Flyin: I get so terribly irritable when I first go AF. I can barely contain myself, & my poor husband bears the brunt. I just try to keep quiet as much as possible, but every little thing drives me crazy. Mary

[Mohun]

Sunday 25 May

Sunday already. Times flies. 45 days down and counting.

Glad you people are taking out your frustrations on your husbands and BF's and not on me. :H Funny how we can be nicer to strangers.

Good luck to all today.

Mo.

[Determinator]

Sunday 25 May

Happy sunday ABlanders!!

honestly I didn't know what day of the week it is until I saw todays thread starter. ahahhaa!! must be vacation for sure.

just docked here at Juneau about 5 minutes ago and the view from from aft starboard is just beautiful. I have a photo safari today where they will whisk me away to see some wildlife etc and I hope to get the next cover of "discover" magazine or backpacker perhaps.
I went to an AA meeting on the boat last night and there wasn't a proper meeting as everyone was busy but I did speak with a very nice lady that popped in to say hi and we were able to talk about things outside of the AA realm such as "a new earth" by E. Tolle etc. it's sad that AA is so focused just on "the program" and is quite bluntly closed to other things. no harm done though...I just gain what I can there and keep moving forward.
be well friends!

[Hovercat]

Sunday 25 May

Hello all, thought I'd check in as it's been a while, I'm on day 119 now, I was rather shocked when I worked that out!

I won't say it's been easy, I have had several times in the supermarket where I thought seriously about getting a bottle of Voddy and reaquainting myself, but I have managed to hold off. I've found it very difficult at family gatherings as well, when there is a nice wine box in the kitchen that it'd be soooo easy to take a little and no one would be wiser (but it's never a little!!) but the fear of being caught, and relapsing is enough to deter me.

I hope you all find your strength and keep fighting the good fight!

[Janice]

Sunday 25 May

Hi everyone, late today posting. Been catching up with painting and having a good old "declutter" in the study!!

I can so relate to having to deal with our "issues" once we stop drinking. Last year when I was AF in the autumn, I felt so bad that I went to the Drs and got anti-depressants. This time round, I've tried hard to "ride" those feelings and tell myself its okay to feel like this, that these feelings will pass and that we have to separate our feelings from the drink. Hang in there Loppy, try and come on here when you're not feeling good, it really does help. Can you take yourself out for a good long walk? I find that always helps when I'm feeling down.

Day 89 here and today I've been reflecting on the past 3 months. Its ironic that mam is very ill right now and in the past that has seen me opening the bottle and pouring that glass. Not this time. Whats happening with mam's health, without any doubt, reinforces the need for me to protect my sobriety. I am no longer willing to compromise my health, my life, and my family's life. The fight goes on but its becoming less of a battle. I still have the odd "wouldn't it be nice" thought such as Saturday night when we were at friends for dinner but thats all it is, a thought. I am determined this is longterm, this is for keeps. I am now a non-drinker full-stop.

love Janicexxx

[Janice]

Sunday 25 May

Hovercat.....great stuff with the 119 days!!!!!

Janicexxx