Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

[Marshy]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Waiting for 'Romeo & Juliet' to start on the big screen in Trafalgar Square...




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[Marshy]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Oops. That's a bit small. I need to play with my camera a bit more. Hahha.

[Doggygirl]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Oh man Marshy. I wanna come do touristy things with YOU!!! Awesome picture and looks like a lot of fun.

Finally made that sea bass! It was rich and filling especially for a lighter type fish. And spicy, which I like!! Will post the recipe tomorrow or Tuesday in the recipe section. It definitely reminded me of fish dishes from my Florida days in the Cuban restaurants.

This cold is kickin' my ass and all I can't say enough is that I am forever grateful I don't smoke any more. I wouldn't be able to breath if I were still puffin' 'em.

No desires or even teeny thoughts of wanting AL today. YEAH!! A movie, then one more spit test, and lights out.

Happy finish off of the weekend to all! (wait...isn't Monday a holiday for some???)

DG
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[Miss Behaving]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

I'm going to get this over with quick as I can!

Hi all, and yes it is a holiday here in NZ and Australia .... (Queens Birthday weekend .... but I'm a bit of a republican myself!).

I really want to wish a hello to everyone new and old, but we are growing so big! I like that though, and I know that there are other threads with people also doing the 30 days thing and each seems to have its own "culture"!! I like this one though for my own thoughts, and am relying on people in the Northern hemisphere to send spring and summer thoughts to those of us who are having to cope with winter!

anyway I emerged from my sick bed earlier this afternoon after about 36 hours of feeling really dreadful. Sore muscles, gigantic headache that was totally resistant to any sort of pain relief, and not much sleep. And after about 24 hours of that (Sunday afternoon) I opened a bottle of wine.

I'm not going to call it a slip, because it was quite deliberate. I thought about my options, I came on here and read some posts, and I decided to drink. And then I watched some DVDs and howled uncontrollably for a wee while and had a bit of a sleep. Didn't drink any more after that, went back to bed, my headache finally left me at about 4am this morning and I slept until lunchtime today.

Those are the "facts", but in between I've had lots of feelings - some of which have been interesting and others of which have just been down right emotional!

I find the physical symptoms of withdrawal quite interesting in a bizarre sort of way. Its winter here, and incredibly cold, so I may have just caught a flu. But I also think my body is going through a bit of shock in having 6 days without wine and not quite knowing how to respond. I haven't had very many AF weeks in the last 20 years. I've been reading a lot about withdrawal symptoms - I never worried about convulsions, DTs etc etc, but I do think that things hit us differently. I've been trying to keep an eye out for what I might be going through physically, but I may have underestimated how the emotional stuff was going to leap out and bite me on the bum. I do know that yesterday I cried and cried and cried in a way that I haven't done for ages. And it felt really good and very catharctic, if somewhat a bit pathetic!!!

The other thing was that I have been thinking a lot about my "triggers"and what it was about yesterday that led me to take the decision to drink. And I realised that all of the thinking I have been doing about triggers is about situations in which I can prepare for not drinking - like knowing that I'm going out and working out in advance what I am going to do. What happened yesterday was feeling ambushed - (internal voice speaking) "its not fair that I should feel like this when I've been so good and tried so hard" and "this headache is just like a hangover, and the best way to get rid of a hangover is to self-medicate".

It really reminds me of when i gave up smoking 2 years ago ....... even though I had no desire to smoke again, I found that for about a year afterwards I would have times when the urge hit me - the first BBQ of summer, the Xmas party, etc etc. I think that it stands to reason that it will be like this with drinking as well. So I need to have a strategy ready for the unexpected stuff.

There is some good out of this though! I didn't drink too much, and when i woke again I didn't drink any more. And in some way it sort of strengthened my resolve ..... somebody (July?? thank you whoever it was!!) put in this thread a couple of days ago about coming to realise that this (abstinence) becomes the way that you want to live your life and I've been thinking about that a lot. I haven't reached that point quite yet, but I'm starting to see it as an option. And that is one step on from where I was last Monday (when I was starting out trying to be careful and not complacent), two steps on from 2 weeks before that (when I was confident but thoughtless!) and quite a long way off from how I was when i started lurking out on this site feeling like I could never beat this thing and that I was just useless and hope-less.

So many people on here talk about this as being part of a journey. I get so much out of everyone's posts - those who have been doing this for a long time and whose experience I benefit from, those who consistently cheer me up with their optimism and hope, those who are also new and struggling along side of me (and thanks for the PMs!!). Anyway, for now I'm not beating myself up - I did quite a lot of that last night. Today I'm into the Fred Astaire thing "pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again"!!

anyway, tomorrow is another day - this is not how I wanted to start my AF June, but also no excuse to not do what I can with the rest of it.

mame

[jessie]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Hi AM,
There is nothing pathetic about crying and crying and crying - after all, you are in the process of saying goodbye to a dear, beloved friend to whom you clung for so long.Our dear Al. Yes, you will be mourning a lot. But fortunately a much better friend, Sobriety, is waiting around the corner.
I am struggling alongside you, now day 4 for me. Another try. This time I just want to increase the AF days from my May 15 to I don't know how many, as long as it is more then 15.
Love
Jessie

[Pamina]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Hi all - I'm new to this thread though not to abbers. :new: I haven't been able to post much lately but look forward to rectifying that shortly.

AM - Whatever you do, do NOT beat yourself up!! As you say, it's a journey of new discoveries daily/weekly, and you've already made quite a few. Getting thoughts, body and emotions all working in the same direction is one h#ll of a job. I had the same weepiness in days 6-8 though can't explain for the life of me why all emotions felt so magnified suddenly. Just get back to working on that next AF day.

I'm back from a trip to visit my father who is terminally ill, but he's a trooper. I'm still digesting the visit. One thing's clear, though. It went so much better than the previous one when I was guzzling wine every night. And I've reached my first goal, which was to remain AF for this trip. :yay:

Not to get cocky or anything, but I've started to think past the 30 days I'll hopefully reach next week. For me this process is first and foremost about emotional grounding and stability. It seems pretty pointless to even pose the question of possible moderating until I feel stronger. Which in turn seems to take loads of time. It's kind of hard to explain, but I did feel last week as though I achieved 'islands' of peace, stability and capacity for purposeful action in the middle of periods of worry and fatigue.

So onwards all to an AF June.

Pamina on day 20 AF.

[Doggygirl]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Mame, it really does take the wind out of ones sails to get sick! It sounds like you really throught through your decision. And you are right - if you've come from a place a few weeks ago where you thought sobriety would be impossible for you to know, where you can see an AL free life as an option, then your journey is moving in the right direction.

Welcome Jessie!

Today is AF Day 12. I feel really good with no urges to drink - amazing! I will not let my guard down though. This cold is a continued bummer - especially the sore throat and cough. I normally go to the business referral group on Monday mornings but Mr. Doggy is going in my place today. The first Monday of the month we always meet at a restaurant and have breakfast - it's our more casual meeting. I didn't want to be coughing and dripping snot in everyone's food! I would never get any referrals that way LOL.

Mr. Doggy wants me to stay in bed but I'm going to go out to run a few errands and hang out in my office which also = here. Even though I feel like crap I still have too much positive energy to lay in bed all day and go crazy. My important errand for this morning is properly packaging up that spit and getting it shipped off to the lab.

Need your opinions - do we want to start a new thread each Monday? I sort of like keeping the thread to a reasonable size. I think it can sometimes be daunting to new people when it gets way long.

Happy Monday to all!

DG
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[happydog]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

HI Everyone,

:welcome: to Scullingirl, jessie and pamina,

DG...my concert is at the end of june my daughter and son are coming with me, hubby dont want to go. got the tickets cheap from my sis inlaw. I hope you start to feel bettter soon and make sure you do get some rest. i will look out for that fish recipe sound nices. well done 12days af.
Wow mame.... well done for not beating yourself up and knowing you was in control you had only 2 and stop. I to hope you are feeling better too!
Kaddy...I admire your strength being around your friends while they are drinking. Well done.
Hannah...Well done 31days af now! what a smalll world. my dad when he always come home drunk always foul mouth a lot with us and the nieghbours it was very embarrassing. i think the neighbours felt really sorry for us. It was different when you lived in flats, but when we lived in a house walking outside that street door i hated it. Dont know how my mum put up with it but she did! (shame)

The thought of moderating scares me....Yesterday evening felt low and tearful and i know deep down it was because i really wanted a drink... so i force myself and when on a bike ride to clear my head.

To ALL booze busters have a great day.

Love
Teardrop.x
p.s DG i think its a good idea to start a new thread every monday.

[meditation mama]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Morning my BB friends!

I'm back from my weekend in the big city.. I have to start off this post by saying I did not stay AF. I was quite deliberate about it, actually. I know this is not what I said when I left, but I think I had this motion in my heart. I felt I needed a weekend away, to be an adult, to be spontaneous, to be free of EVERYTHING. So, by the time I got there it was deliberate.

I stayed at a very nice hotel and spent Friday night in a friends restaurant/bar talking to a very handsome and talented Ad Agency owner, dubbed ultra-fabulous TIM, and yes, drinking wine. It made me feel special and was completely ego stroking - I am just being real here. The next day I spent at a spa and then went to a party where I remained AF. Then I went to a club where a very dear friend works. Lots of very young and very beautiful people. I started getting uncomfortable, so I left. I went back and stopped by the restaurant/bar, I know it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I met another very handsome Helecopter Pilot - incredibly nice and very forthcoming with his compliments - again, my ego was inflating. This is when I started to realize, that is what I was looking for - ego stimulating. I spend a lot of time deflating my ego, that is in my buddhist practice. But for some reason, well not "some reason", it is because I am now single, I wanted to test myself - who is MM and how will the opposite sex react to her. I am almost 10 years older than I was when I was out here before.

First of all, I have to say I was very lucky that nothing bad happend to me, or I was very lucky to be talking to two very nice men - my angels were with me, for sure.

Second, I think I really needed to see if men were still attracted to me - after being with the same man for sooooo long. I was absolutely way too uncomfortable AT THE TIME to try this experiment without alcohol, that was my thought at the time. My rationale... I was not craving AL, I wasn't thinking how much I wanted a drink, those feelings wern't there - that is a good sign. This was about exposing myself without it and THAT is what gave me the OK.. I FELT EXPOSED without AL. Revalation.

At this point, you are probably saying.. where is MM and who is typing this? That is what I was saying all weekend. It was like I was someone else, maybe a bit of the old me and the new me mixed together. Unfortunatley, the old MM has AL stamped all over her forhead. Luckily for me, the new MM has a very strong spirit and is becoming so much bigger than the old self. I knew what I was doing, but I also knew that it was wrong. My new self was there, but the old self, the scared self was unprepared and went to a safe place.. AL.

So, now the good news... I am still very committed to being AF, now more than ever actually. I want to be able to sit and talk to men without AL. There are fuzzy parts of night one (I skipped dinner), and I NEVER want that to happen again. I had a great time with ultra-fabulous TIM, but I would have had a much more enjoyable time, FOR ME, if I weren't drinking. I don't need that now, I can see that. I am funny, and OK.. not bad to look at. I don't need this crutch. I can do this.

Lastly, I had quite a revelation on the way home. If I go to bars to talk to men, I will meet men that drink.... DUH! I know this sound like a very obvious revelation, but in the past that is what I did - I mean not always, but that is what we did. Got dressed up and went out for drinks. That is what I knew to do - I mean I am almost 44 years old and have not had much abstinence - and have had relativly no experience with interacting with the opposite sex without it. Now I want to. My new thing is I will go to places that I WANT TO BE AT. Places that don't involve drinking and I will learn how to interact with the opposite sex, sober. There are many places to do that. In fact, I was at coffee Sunday and it was full of HOTTIES!

I learned another very important piece to my puzzle this weekend. I have said it a hundred times to many of you, but it is my path. I guess I had another lesson to learn.... I did.

I am back to day 2. I am OK with this. I am not scared anymore. June 1st sobrtiety date.. has a ring to it.

Namaste,

MM

[livingfree]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

New week ahead BBers!!

MM - Your post is honest, self reflecting and straight forward. One thing I have observed about you is that you are Extremely intelligent I believe some people find they need to drink just to bring it down a notch. Maybe you meet men, and find your intelligence puts fear into men, so you want to "iron it flat" for the moment. Just a thought. I think you are very wise to reflect on all of this. You have entered a very new and different time in your life. You WILL become comfortable in your new shoes! Day by day sweetie!
Thanks for sharing - I am always inspired by your thought process.

Kaddy - Not so easy to do - but you did it!

Tear - I think you should GO TO THE CONCERT!!

DG - way to go day 12!! Hope you get feeling better!!

Pamina - Welcome and post away!!

Auntie - tears are good for the soul - I was so emotional for months after I stopped drinking. Things do level out and you find a healthy balance!

Jess - count only if it's right for you!


I'm off and running. Dr. appointment and then get unpacked from 3 weekends on the road! My house is a mess. When It's a mess - I feel messy inside! IKES. Have a great day all



Liv

[kaddy]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

hi all hope you all had a good day
welcome pamnia

[Hannah]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

Morning, afternoon, whatever!

DG, I do think we should start a new thread every Monday. Otherwise, the old one really gets long, and hard to keep track of. My vote.

Gee, colds still hanging on? Hope you get a good rest today, DG.

Mame - Well, regardless of whether you call it a slip or not, I?m glad you are recommitted to continuing the journey AF. It can be sooooo eassssyyyy to just fall back into our old ways. Please be careful, and keep your guard up.

MM - Well, MM, we know you are beautiful and intelligent. And sexy as hell. But every woman has to reconfirm it for themselves from time to time - and that?s what you did. And, I, also being a woman, completely understand that. Silly me, at the age of 53, just got contact lenses, and I am not fooling myself about the motive - I ?tell? myself it?s because I get better vision this way - well, sure it is. I guess I figure at 53 I only have a few more years to explore my ?hotness?, and why the h*ll not? Not that I am in the market, but it occurs to me that there are several great places to meet men. Do you golf? Lots of hotties at the clubhouse. Or the driving range - hit a few crappy hits. Sure to draw the hotties to ?give you a few pointers?. Also at coffee shops, etc. as you said. Hey, keep us posted! As you said, another piece of the puzzle just fell into place. Life is a learning process, a journey as well as a destination. Wishing you peace, and wellness, and a fresh determination, my friend.

Living free - I can so relate to the messy house thing. My hubby is off to work again this morning, and the first thing I did when he left was tidy up the house! So I?m a neat freak, but just can?t stand clutter!

Pamina, good to see you here. I know how tough the trips to visit your father must be. Wishing you strength. And so proud of you that you reached your goal of staying AF this trip!

Teardrop - If the thought of moderating scares you, don?t go there. It?s probably your subconscious telling you that you couldn?t handle it. AF is nice and safe?.and doesn?t require the constant struggle of how much, when, where, and why.

Jesse - Welcome. Hope you go 15 days and beyond!!!!

Well, this will be a lazy day for me, I think - just a little light housecleaning, and running a few errands, and then coffee with a friend. I am plumb wore out. Our week of golfing was fun, but I am secretly glad my hubby went back to work today so I can have a rest!!!!

Hope you all have a great Monday!

[Doggygirl]

Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge - Beginning May 26th

THERE IS A NEW WEEKLY BOOZE BUSTERS THREAD OPEN FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 2. PLEASE CONTINUE POSTING THERE!

AF ROCKS!!

DG
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