Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I haven't opened this thread lately, because I'm not up as early as some of you (especially those of you across the "pond"). However, again, I'm having one of my insomniac nights, so I thought I would begin it.

In another thread there was some discussion about whether the term "alcoholic" should be used as a label. I personally do not have a problem w/saying: "I am an alcoholic." I do drink alcoholically, because once I start, I am not able to stop after a reasonable amount. My drinking has gradually progressed from very light drinking to social drinking to occasional binging mixed into social drinking to drinking a lot every week. As my drinking has progressed, my capacity to hold my liquor has increased. That said: now that I've admitted to being an alcoholic (problem drinker), I know that my only course of action is abstinence. I really have no control over myself once the first drop of alcohol enters my blood stream.

The aspect I love most about MWO is that there is a place & a level of tolerance for everyone. If you don't want to label yourself, it's not necessary (unlike AA). If you think you can moderate, MWO can support that. If you want to share you can, if not, you don't have to. During my membership in MWO, I've been sober for long periods, & I've had some slips & binges. I wasn't coddled about the slips, but I wasn't condemned either. I've had some straight talk about getting back on track, & that's just what I'm doing now.

There is no end to the gratitude I feel toward all of you here. Today I feel very strong. I don't feel any kind of longing for a drink. I hope that doesn't change.
-I want to be around (normal) people who drink & not feel cheated.
-I want to experience stress & not feel I need a way out.
-In short, I want to live an AF life.

I know I can do this. Thanks for being here for me.

Mary

[one of 7]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Mary

I follow your posts every day, as I do Janice's and the rest of you Abbers. I find each and every one of you an inspiration. I'm fighting my battle at the moment and don't feel "qualified" to join your thread but i wanted to let you all know that you being here and posting is important and i like to see it.

I'm getting better but as i've said before in my (few) posts, it's a steep road i have to climb.

[Janice]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Mary, thanks for starting us off today and, as usual, giving us something to think about. (I've soooo missed that!!) From reading your posts yesterday, it sounds as if that "switch" has been pressed and you mean "business"!!!!! You sound strong, determined and motivated.

I really believe that one of the reasons I've got to where I am is that when I'm with people who are drinking (eg the 2 weddings; the races; dinner parties), I tell myself I'm not being cheated, I'm not being deprived; that indeed life is just great without that glass!! I suppose when we feel we're missing out, we yearn for what we can't have......I had a "moment" like that at dinner on Saturday night. Thats all it was, a moment's thought.

You are such an inspiration to myself and many here on MWO......I know you can do this Mary, you have the strength to get yourself back down that AF path.

One of 7 - there's no qualification needed for this thread; we're all on this journey together no matter where we are on the path. Some of us have a steeper climb than others. Please do come and join us, we want to hear from you.

Will probs pop back later.......its a wet damp morning here in Kent. By the way, Loppy's late today!!!! Will probably spend the day sorting cupboards, rooms out in the house. Very exciting!

much love,

Janicexxx

[Doggygirl]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Good morning Abbers!

Mary, thank you for your wonderful through provoking post (as always - I love them!!). You are so right that part of this battle is us *_______(insert whatever one calls oneself here)* embracing the fact that life is BETTER for us without booze - we are NOT "missing" anything that is positive - at least not for us problem drinkers. I'm not hung up on "labels" either. LOL - I'm a drunk. (I would never call anyone else that, at least not without permission! But for me, the shoe fits and I'll wear it.)

Janice, you inspire me too. I want to be like YOU when I grow up!!!!! Cupboard cleaning....YUK!! Although it sure feels good when it's done, doesn't it??

Welcome one of 7!!! It's a long and winding road here, and I ditto Janice's welcome!!! I've fallen off the wagon so many times now that my butt REALLY hurts. Another reason I am determined to make it this time!!

Well, it's Day 7 AF here and I'm very happy to be finishing off a full AF week today! I'm off to Curves...catch you all later.

Good Day to all who are yet to come!

DG
*******

[charlee]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Mary
Thanks for starting the thread this a.m. ..I agree with Janice, you are sounding like you are determined with a positive attitude and ready to take the bull by it's horns. For some of us, the only way to go forward is not taking that first sip. Whe I first started this journey I chose to take it ODAT, I chose to make no promises for tomorrow. I still live by that and knowing I made the choice. I gave myself power over AL and I too, do not feel deprived or cheated.....(Sounds like Janice and I are working off of that same switch!)Of course I have my moments...I am an alcoholic and will always have to live with it (my sucks for me rule!). This is the hand I was dealt.

Oneof 7..welcome...and please do not feel you need to be qualified. We are all on this journey together and with comittment we can all strive for the top of that steep climb..

Wishing all the best in attaining their goals for today....

[4theboyz]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!!

Wow, feel the love!! Must be the weather! Speaking of, it has been absolutely nuts here. 85 on Monday and high of 50 yesterday had to turn the heat back on my home brrrr. Not much time to gab today and I love it that everyones sounds so committed to their goals.

Keep smiling and have a great AF day everyone!

[retteacher]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

One of 7: I want to reiterate what Janice, DG, & Char said: "You don't have to "qualify" to share at this thread. Please feel free to jump in w/a comment or what's going on w/you. It will give all of us food for thought. Sometimes we feel we have to be inspirational or encouraging, but the only criterion for sharing here is to want to stop drinking for some amount of time (even for today).

I woke up feeling fine even though I was here at MWO until 2 AM. One night of abbreviated sober sleep is much, much better than a whole 8 hours of drunken sleep. I'm ready to tackle the day. Again, I feel like booze is not an option for me today. I don't feel any kind of longing or temptation at all.

Mary

[Cinders]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Mary - I agree, sober sleep, even if abbreviated is sleep. Drunken stupor does nothing but make me feel worse. I am so glad you are feeling such resolve today. I am going to be on the June abs path, too, and so excited about having my 33rd anniversary sober on June 8, which happens to coincide with my 1 month AF.

One of 7 - Please do not hesitate to join us. Many of us don't "qualify" in terms of days AF but all of us have that common goal. Your input will always be appreciated.

Charlee - Thank you for always adding your perspective to this thread. ODAT seems to be the only thing that works for me, too. I know it is a cliche but have discovered there is a reason the cliche exists. The minute I start thinking, no more drinking, ever, no matter what, that stinkin' thinkin' jumps in. I know I can handle today. Absolutely. Whew, don't have to worry about tomorrow yet!!


4theBoyz - Our weather has been wild, too. 80s and now rain rain rain that was not forecast. Flooding in the valleys. Cool and foggy up here on my mountain this morning. If the sun comes out, though, it will get hot and sticky.

Janice - Thank you for sharing. I, too, shall work on looking at abs as being a positive and not cheating myself. Mindset is huge for us.

DG - I am considering joining Curves myself. Have you found it to be a good round of exercise? I hesitate because I am so out of shape but then again, if I keep hesitating, I will stay out of shape!! :H

Everyone else, please have a wonderful, sober, joyful Wednesday.

Love,
Cindi

[cowgal]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

good morning

Hi all, I just want to re-iterate a welcome and no qualifications here to 1of7! and a big FAT WELCOME!:welcome:

We are all here just to share our problems, along w/ our experience, strength and hope to help eachother w/ this al problem.....................only day 2, but a good promising feeling inside of me, picked up the chip of surrender last night at AA :truce I know alot of you don't care for AA, but it is the only thing besides here that has helped, and hopefully this is it............):fingers:

love:h and hugs:l to all, happy Wednesday to everyone!!!

MA

[Doggygirl]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

retteacher;334050 wrote: One night of abbreviated sober sleep is much, much better than a whole 8 hours of drunken sleep. I'm ready to tackle the day.

A-M-E-N!!!!!

Mary, you gotta add that to the "What I love" thread!!!!!

*waving* to cindi and Charlee and 4tb and Cowgal too.

Cindi - Not only was I majorly out of shape when I started (and still am...but it's improving!), but I've had back surgery and have a few arthritic joints. The way the circuit and equipment is designed, you can get a very good workout no matter what level you are starting at.

If your local club follows the Curves Culture as they are supposed to, you might also find it to be a very fun and uplifting environment. I heard a lot about Curves from friends in various places around the US, and my local Curves did not disappoint - it fit the description that I was given by people from other cities.

I like the Women Only atmosphere. There are lots of age groups represented, but on whole you may find the average age to be a bit higher than at a more traditional gym (like Gold's Gym or Bali's, etc.). At 50, I like working out where there are folks both older and younger than me. I get inspiration from both.

The music is always upbeat, and we laugh a lot as we work really hard. There is always some sort of motivational contest and/or games going on as incentives. That doesn't float everyone's boat, but it sure appeals to the "sales person aka motivated by incentives" part of me! Sometimes the programs are driven by the corporate office of Curves, but the local managers / owners/circuit coaches come up with their own whacky stuff too.

I think it's worth checking out!!

There is a promotion right now that I believe is a corporate one - so should be offered everywhere - for a fitness study. It's only $30 bucks!! A great deal and a great way to try before you buy in my opinion. Here is a link with more info. Curves International - About Curves - Corporate Sponsorship

Sorry for another lengthy post. But I really like Curves. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but the nice thing is that there are usually GREAT options that allow people to check it out before making a longer term committment.

OK - I'll shut up now!!
DG
*******

[Pamina]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Day 16 AF

Hi Abbers!

During this trip, I can only check in at libraries from time to time so I'm a bit out of the loop.

But a quick read reveals a great deal of resolve and positive vibes on this thread today. How lovely to see that and well done all!

I've made a few interesting discoveries during my second AF week. First, I have to consciously stop and give myself credit from time to time. I'm so impatient to reach an AF groove that I get very cross with the fact that I have not yet made a dent in my psychological dependency. AT ALL. I have replaced AL with AF beer/cider/wine but I'm still reaching for a glass whenever stressed. As though it had magical calming properties. And then I feel very stupid. And I HATE feeling stupid. I find myself needing the reminder that if my first 21 days set up an AF drinks habit, that would be a lot better than the previous habit.

The other, rather more unexpected discovery, is the power of abstinence and of this site. The realities of my father's illness are pretty brutal. During his appointment a few days ago, the neurologist talked us through the gradual losses of speech, swallowing and ultimately breathing. I flit between being practical and feeling overwhelmed. I find that I do much better on the days where I have diverse, planned activities. Yesterday I was tired, stayed in the house and didn't do great. Today I'm meeting with friends, running errands and feeling much stronger. But every day I focus on abstaining. It has become the new backbone to my day. There are so many things I can't control but I CAN control what I drink, and that feels incredibly empowering. And somewhere out there all over the world, all of you are doing the same, and we can do this together.

Have a wonderful, sober day, one and all.

xx Pamina

[Cinders]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Pamina,

It has become the new backbone to my day. There are so many things I can't control but I CAN control what I drink, and that feels incredibly empowering. And somewhere out there all over the world, all of you are doing the same, and we can do this together.

What a powerful message. Thank you.

Cindi

[Beck]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Hello everyone,

Finding myself busy with the kids' wrapping up the school year - everything from awards assemblies for the high schooler to last week of school parties for the first grader. Don't really remember how I used to work full time and do all this stuff - oh, yeah - wasn't much of a participater. Having trouble getting in 'me" time and that is always dangerous for me...drinking used to count as a "me" time activity. now I think of it more as a "destroy me" activity - sure is helpful when the attitude changes...

Speaking of which, Mary I can almost feel your resolve now. You helped me so much when I first started out. I know you are ready for another long AF stretch...

one of seven - I am with the others - feel free to jump in. nobody expects perfection here.

Janice, half-term is it? I have been very good in groups deflecting drinks but next week I am seeing an old friend for a night out. I've decided to just be honest. She used to work for me and she had to know how lousy I felt every morning - I would send folks who worked for me to early am meetings under the pretence that it was good for them. was really just another way for me to continue my drink-a-thon. I'm figuring she probably knows anyway.

Char, so glad you are ahead of me on this path reminding me that it is okay to still have moments when I consider drinking...it does still happen and I deal with it.

Cindi, glad you are looking forward to an AF anniversary. I had one recently and it was great. I too don't like to think of the "never" in all of this. ODAT works for me.

Cowgal, picking up that chip is a big commitment. I think the AA is a great resource - I say whatever works for you is good. Keep that sponsor number handy and use it if you need to.

DG - one week sober. well done. Do I consider myself a drunk? that's a puzzler for me...I tend to think visually. As long as AL is in his bottle he can no longer imprision me. I do view my life with AL as a cage of my making. It helps me to think of AF as liberating.

4tB -went from 85 to 60 here today. think tomorrow we are back to a happy medium. You sound positive and well.

Oh, and having read yesterdays posts - I am resolved to make a dental appointment today. Funny when I drank I never had a toothache

Good day to everyone,
Beck

[on my way]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Good afternoon all,

Ditto, as beck said, been busy here with the school year ending.

This thread brims with wisdom today. I am fortunate to be able to particapate

1 of 7, we all started at one point. We have all floundered. I read a nike sport shirt once that said something like this ~ "You have to start to finish". When you're ready, the support here is unconditional. Welcome!!

The best to you all, OMW

[retteacher]

Wed. - May 28 - Daily Thread

Thank you dear Beck for the confidence you have in me. I do feel a very strong sense of resolve. I did not feel even the teensiest need for a drink today.

Pamina: I love that you can't control everything that happens; however, you can control what you drink.

I love you all, Mary