What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

[Nursie]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Yes Patrice. It's like a knife!
And I formulate a plan all day long of how to stay sober, how to make it better, to get healthy and fix everything. And I do such a good job at figuring everything out that I need a freaking drink afterwards.

I hate the part of the morning where I wonder if anyone noticed how drunk I really was...."maybe they didn't notice, maybe I wasn't that bad".

Cuts, bruises, bumps that I have no recollection of receiving.

Broken things, broken trust, broken self respect.

Praying for the obsession to go away so I won't be like my mother and yet only feeling normal after I am drinking.

[matchee]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Well Saturday morning- my wife went to work and I drove to grab the kids breakfast. Of course that meant a couple of pints of vodka at 7am. When I got home I got obliterated and proceeded to sleep the morning off. My wife returned from work to find me passed out and the kids trying to wake me up so I would take them swimming- which I promised to do.

Wife tells me she's going to divorce me and so I really go on a bender then.

Not really sure what happens the rest of the day. At night we already have plans with another couple that bought us tickets to a comedy show.

We went (because my wife was too embarassed to say we couldn't)

I sobered up slowly even continuing to drink.

Spent all day Sunday trying to piece things together. Nauseous with abdominal pain and sweating all day and night. I think the kids are starting to give up on me.

What the Hell is wrong with me?

[K9Lover]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

:bump:

[Tipplerette]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

ilovemyfamily;1140380 wrote: I just realized that I hate the fact that our friends see us as the party couple.

We are having a friend over for lunch tomorrow and I am thinking of ways not to mention alcohol.

And I hate realizing that maybe my husband is an alcoholic that wont do anything about it.

Exactly what I hate. We created the "Party Couple" reputation and now it's so hard to shake it. I asked Hubby to move the wine to the basement and he doesn't want it to be that far away. I just don't want it within reach. Maybe he has an alcohol problem too.

[Melissa]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Bump!

[K9Lover]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Bumping for myself...need to read it this weekend. Need the reminders.

[Kaslo]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Party couple....hmmm. I realized a while ago that the person I married 27 years ago, is not the same as he was, and I dont like him all the time, any more. In fact, I am pretty sure he is not so crazy about me now that I dont drink anymore. I am still kind of fond of him....but i get the shift you guys are discussing here. I gotta say, please, take care of yourselves first over the hub/wife who is a drinker, dont be apologetic about chosing to be healthy instead of a drunk for someone elses amusement or verification of their own bad choices. DO STUFF FOR YOU.

Kaslo

[Want2BFree]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

This thread meant a lot to me when I read it and so I wanted it to be the first one I posted on today, my first day (again). So much of what others have said applies to me as well but here is my own list. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Tomorrow is my 44th birthday - I can't wait any longer to make a positive change in my life. I hope to use this list as a reminder of the pain I've caused myself and others during my journey to sobriety.

I hate the disappointment I see in my husbands and daughter's eyes when I drink.
I hate waking up at 3 am sweaty and hot - and then not being able to get back to sleep.
I hate the mess my house and life has become.
I hate my red eyes, puffy face, bloated belly and the 20 pounds I've gained.
I hate when it's a nice day outside and I want to stay inside and drink.
I hate that my drinking makes me undesirable to my husband.
I hate wondering if the people I spoke to knew I was drunk.
I hate constantly worrying if my husband is mad at me for something I said or did while drinking.
I hate starting a conversation with my daughter to have her tell me "Mom, we talked about this last night" - but I have no recollection.
I hate looking at my cell phone to see if I called / texted / emailed anyone the night before.
I hate how I argue and scream at my husband for stupid things.
I hate drinking in the morning and passing out in the afternoon wasting an entire day.
I hate the money I have wasted.
I hate waking up embarrassed and ashamed from drinking too much.
I hate what I am missing out on due to drinking controlling my life.
I hate worrying about what I did or said while drinking because I can't remember.
I hate the person I've become - how old I look and just generally not a nice person.
I hate hiding my drinking and all of the sneaking around I do to keep it from my husband.
I hate driving home from work as fast as I can to get to that first drink.
I hate that I cannot take back all the times I've caused pain to my family and embarrassment to myself.
I hate the lack of energy and being depressed all of the time.
I hate hating myself.

[caper564]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

DriftyAlison0;1118872 wrote: I hate the fact that I have had to miss church services because I was too hungover to go.
I hate that everytime I hear that my mom has to work a double that my first thoughts go to drinking.
I hate having urges and cravings to drink.
I hate caving in.
I hate hangovers.
I hate embarrassing at a restaurant by making a mess of myself after a night of drinking (my group went to Perkins after the bar closed one night).
I hate sleeping off and on the day after.
I hate the time wasted, the things that I could of done rather then drinking/nursing a hangover.
I hate having to start at Day 1 over and over.
I hate that even quitting smoking was harder, that at least it took me 2 tries to quit smoking and not so many times that I forgot the amount of tries to quit drinking.
I hate having my mom worrying about me and my drinking.
I hate it when one time at a birthday party my niece was worried about my drinking, she thought that I had enough and took me home although I knew that I could have more and ended up having 4 more beers after I got home.
I hate the fact that although I love being sober and waking up hangover free, I still go out and drink too much.
I hate the amount of times that I drank.
I hate the amount of times that I had to change my mod plans.
I hate that I decided to mod and not continue to fight this.
I hate delaying getting my homework/studying done due to nursing a hangover.


I know I already posted once, but I thought of some more reasons why I hate AL.
Day 2 (nearly day 3)

Alison, this was over a year ago. how wonderful is that?? this thread is one that i read every so often. I could have written each and every entry. it reminds me that YES i am and always will be an alcoholic. no moderation for me.

[Ishybit]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Hi want2 befree,
Your list is all inclusive! I really identify with the self hate and loathing witch turns into massive depression and despair and then the cycle continues. I haven't been AF for too long but I'm telling you, you will start to like yourself even after one day AF and the you can start to see your potential. Just get thru today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow! You can do it.
Ishy

[Hawk]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Nearly everything listed here is on my list too. It makes me sad.
I am tired of blackouts, being tired, disappointing my husband, disappointing myself and feeling like. Total failure. I am glad to be back after two years and I am going to make it this time.

[Turnagain]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate how this addiction has hurt so many good people. Want2B and Hawk....I'm glad you're here and posting. I encourage you to head over to the Newbies Nest in the Just Starting Out Section for some support and encouragement in these first few weeks.

There is also a lot of good info in the Toolbox. Look for it in the future in the Monthly Abstinence area under GOALS.

Want...10 months ago, I could've written exactly the same list as you did. Since I've quit...my life has done a 180. Like Ishy says...it gets better pretty quick! Within a week of quitting, I was able to start making a new list...what I like, love about being sober! And that list has been growing ever since! You'll hear this from all sorts of people here.....

"If I can do it....you can too..."

That's a fact. You can have your life back again...free of addiction.

[Kradle123]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Well Saturday morning- my wife went to work and I drove to grab the kids breakfast. Of course that meant a couple of pints of vodka at 7am. When I got home I got obliterated and proceeded to sleep the morning off. My wife returned from work to find me passed out and the kids trying to wake me up so I would take them swimming- which I promised to do.

Wife tells me she's going to divorce me and so I really go on a bender then.

Not really sure what happens the rest of the day. At night we already have plans with another couple that bought us tickets to a comedy show.

We went (because my wife was too embarassed to say we couldn't)

I sobered up slowly even continuing to drink.

Spent all day Sunday trying to piece things together. Nauseous with abdominal pain and sweating all day and night. I think the kids are starting to give up on me.

What the Hell is wrong with me?


What happed to MATCHEE??

He wrote that in 2011

[daisy45]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Kradle, you had me totally confused there. I was sure you were a woman but this post threw me completely. Took me a while to figure out you were quoting another post. Click on 'Quote' and write your post in the same box.......

[LibraryGirl]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I have been remembering one particular night lately. Not that it was much different from other nights that I overindulged. It was a weekend where a group of us went on a boat trip from Santee River to Charleston, S.C. It was gorgeous and AL soaked. I don't know, now that I look back, if everyone was drinking as much as I was, but it was bottle after bottle of beer on the boat...The first night we went to a beautiful, expensive restaurant and had beautiful expensive wine. All I was interested in was the wine. I could not eat. While everyone was eating their lovely meals, I was out in the garden outside of the restaurant smoking cigarettes and downing huge glasses of wine, stumbling and falling all over myself. It was disgusting, and it was the end of my relationship with my bf, at that time. He was done with the embarrassment of ME.

So many regrets and so little time, lol. I have to come back to this thread later. I need this.

Lg