What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

[The New Me]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate that I am afraid to go for physical - last year my sugar was very high after two bottles of wine
I hate that I would run to 7/11 for beer late at night when run out of wine
I hate that every wine store clerk around here knows me
I hate disposing of the bottles
I hate that I cannot have AL at home - will try to drink it all!
I hate when I want to drink more when my company orders selzer
I hate that I attribute every ache and pain in my body to drinking
I hate when my date said - for a small person, you can drink a lot!
I hate that I drank most of the whiskey I brought as a present before I had a chance to give it
I hate that I look with envy at people who have a Bloody Mary with breakfast
I hate that I buy cheaper food so that I can spend more on wine

[Guitarista]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

And i hated al so much that it was, 'Choose buddy.' Life? or a slow suicide. The sad, and very dangerous, scary thing is, i was enjoying my slow suicide. An otherwise, good, talented, handsome enough man, with lot's to offer, like all of us. But, i like how i somehow dug really deep, and found a little spark. A spark of life. A spark that re-ignited life in me. It was there, within. But i had to grab it, and hold onto it for dear life.
I am free now, free of the chain's. It was the fight of my life, but so worth it, and so much better than the alternative. A slow, embarrassing suicide.
I hate that i loved it so much, mind body and soul, that it nearly killed me.

[Hippy Chick]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate the look of disappointment on my sons face when I am slurring again. I hate the blackouts. I hate being told what I did the night before. I hate not knowing what I said to my friends after talking to them. I hate being in blackout at the Billy Joel concert (that I paid big bucks to see) so now it is like I didnt see him! I hate the fact that maybe one day I wont wake up - like my alcoholic grandma after a huge drinking session and wasnt found for four days. I hate the waste of my life. I hate the bloated tummy that is purely AL. I hate the fact that I have only just realised that I too hid bottles and snuck shots of whatever while no-one was looking. I hate looking at photos of me when I know I was drunk. I hate the fact that I need AL to just act "normal" when I go out (one to work on for me). I hate the inevitable wake up at three in the morning not knowing where I am. I hate having bruises on my body and not knowing how I got them. I hate my beautiful silver shoes after I threw up on them. I hate admitting that something has such a huge power over me.
Thank you for starting this thread. I have so much more to say but am still to ashamed to admit them just yet. Maybe another time.

[drylifeahead]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Guitarista;789595 wrote: And i hated al so much that it was, 'Choose buddy.' Life? or a slow suicide. The sad, and very dangerous, scary thing is, i was enjoying my slow suicide. An otherwise, good, talented, handsome enough man, with lot's to offer, like all of us. But, i like how i somehow dug really deep, and found a little spark. A spark of life. A spark that re-ignited life in me. It was there, within. But i had to grab it, and hold onto it for dear life.
I am free now, free of the chain's. It was the fight of my life, but so worth it, and so much better than the alternative. A slow, embarrassing suicide.
I hate that i loved it so much, mind body and soul, that it nearly killed me.

Well said Guitarista!!

DLA :l

[MommyDearest72]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Its so astounding to me how all of us affected by this diease are almost psychically connected . We all have the same behaviors and for so long I thought I was alone. Im just grateful that what tried to destroy us is actually bringing people together from across the world- It amazes me my MWO family. Each story (esp this one) sounds like me.

[Hippy Chick]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I've never looked at it like that MommyDearest. I quite like that thought.
Take care
HippyC

[dill]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

:bump:

[Raven.joy]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

feeling that connection to people and there inspirational journeys is part of what keeps me going

[Chillgirl]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

it made me sad, it made me cry
it caused me shame and it made me lie
it took away joy & feeling good
its left me lonely & misunderstood
it caused me hurt and it caused me pain
it got into my head & made me insane!

Now im no longer sad and no longer cry
I can see it so clear and i understand why
The pain is now beginning to fade
and my life no longer feels like a charade
im not giving in or willing to loose
my new life began when i said bye to the booze.....

[NoraC]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Thanks Chillgirl.......

[WineNo]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate that it creeps back into my life even after I said it's over
I hate how unhealthy it makes me feel
I hate that the strong woman I think I am disappears
I hate the morning after suicide notes I wrote...pathetic
I hate that my husband see me like this
I hate HATE smoking...and drinking so I can justify smoking...I don't get it
I hate bingeing ...

This has to be it for me...I want to start my "I love" list...

[fennel]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate dumping my bottles into the recycling bin. I always think the neighbors know exactly what's going on over here, and they probably do!

[BurrCO]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Everyone pretty much has it covered several times. Forgetting I left my dog outside all night and freaking out when I realized and hoping he was ok. Especially so soon after my cousins 2 cats had been killed by foxes or whatever animal he said did it. How awful I would have felt if anything happened to my best friend.

The money and the physical feelings were pretty bad too. And the fact I can't remember anything when I drink.

[Rusty]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Wow,

Chillgirl....I loved your poem, and everyone else's posts. They are such an inspiration to me.

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!

Rusty

[Bustedchalk]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate the money I blow.
I hate the blow I do.
I hate the lies I told.
I hate the time I waste in bed.
I hate the love I've lost.
I hate the embarrassment.
I hate the work I've missed.
I hate the car I can't drive.
I hate how I hate my self.
I hate how much of my life I've wasted.