What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

[Waving_not_drowning]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Breaking my neck and spending 3 months in a neck brace..

[bluequad]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

An am amazing thread. The echoes we share. Thanks, this serves as an inspiration to stay clear in the moment, nothing lost so much gained.

[CS04]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

One of my favorite threads. I'm bumping it up for any newbies to read.

[izzy40]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

The debt (but it wasn't my fault)
The gastric flu (you know what I mean!)
The allergies (even went to a specialist but he never tested for alcohol ones!)
Not functioning at work properly
Blood shot eyes
Watering eyes
Dodgy stomach
Feeling dizzy
Grouchy in the mornings and blowing up at my loved ones
The guilt
The worry of my husband and mum
The anxiety
The panic attacks
The puffy face

Need I go on? I will read this thread every time I feel weak.

Lots of love xxx

[blondechick]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

anniemac;593096 wrote: I have agreed with all but felt a need to vent....

1.I hate being drunk and knowing i've went too far...again.

2.I hate wondering how i'm going to make it to the toilet in a bar without falling flat on my face.

3.I hate wondering how i'm going to make it to the bathroom at home from my bedroom without taking the wardrobe with me.

4.I hate peeing my pants with the force of vomiting after a heavy night.

5.I hate the look on my kids faces when they give me the look that says"you were drinking"....at 3pm and i try to disguise it unsuccessfully by slurring my words or staggering out of the room.

6.I hate that all my family have complained about how much drinking i do when it's old news to me....and they don't know the half of it.

7.I hate that i order chinese and pizza and pay for deliveries because i am too drunk to drive,and not remembering what i ate.

8.I hate the dark depression,guilt/self loathing that accompany's my mind after i've fallen (yet again...off the wagon.

9. I hate that i have to be "on this bleeding wagon"

10.I hate checking every cupboard in the house to see how many btls i went through the night before and hoping i had enough for that night and if not going to buy more to hide

11.I hate the dreadful wd i suffer,sweating,shaking,not sleeping and fearing i will die in my sleep due to poisioning my body..

I cannot think of one thing i like about it but wish i could lose the burning desire to have it.

I hate that this poison contents me???? i feel at ease when i know it's at hand.


phew......
exhausted!
:l

UGh. I hear ya.

[me1455]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

wow its amazing how we are all so similar with what we hate about alcohol. it is horrible for us because its a disease of not just the pain we go through ourselves, but we have to worry and have anxiety and depression over the way others view us and the way we've acted being drunk. i agree with what everyoens written here and ill add some more

embarassing my dad at parties wwe've gone to where ive gotten to drunk or put my head down at the table drinking to much, or the times hes tried to stop me and we get into a screaming match bc i say NO WAY YOU CANT TELL ME TO STOP ( or slow down) WITH DRINKING!

how at this point everyone in my life knows i have a huge alcohol problem
how everytime we go out to eat i am the only one ordering wine and have ordered up to 4 glasses at one sitting! ( at a japanese restaurant the janapenese woman chuckled once when i had three saying, no way you cant have anymore!)
not remembering things and being told by my bf or whoever and trying to act as if i remembered.
( although bc of my tolernace the blackouts are much less.
my dwi, and a second crash i got into almost totalling my car. this isnt funny at all, i know. i hope and pray i will never get behind the wheel drunk again.
the extreme depression and especially mornings after a heavy drinking night. although in the past year or two those heavy drinkin nights are amost everynight.
my bf s mother telling me i have a drinking problem after hearing my bf and him fight while drunk.

and many more..

[42cat]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

(Apologies in advance for the length of this post - but it felt great to acknowledge it .. and now it's "out there" - this is a great thread.)

I hated my morning routine - every single morning for a long, long time. I get up first in the household, and it went something like this:

- Wake up.
- No time to shower (tried to do it the evening before, in preparation for the morning routine)
- No appetite to eat
- Drink of water
- Gag while brushing teeth - hoping I don't puke
- Bathroom (sometimes up to 3 times before work - yuck)
- Rum and coke - a tough one to get down, but it had to be done to ward off the shakes

............ And then preparation for the day, before anyone got up, I would assemble in my big fancy booze-carrying bag that I took to the office every day:

- Mix a rum or vodka (from the hidden stash) and coke in an empty pop bottle to take to work with me. I also kept a stash of empty plastic pop bottles and caps for just this purpose.
- Take my "spare" bottle of rum or vodka, just in case it was needed.
- Make sure I had gum and/or mints.
- Make sure I had some change in case I needed to use a pop machine for mix.
- And take any hidden empty bottles, to be thrown into the dumpster outside where I work (I was usually the first one there).

- Make sure I had cash available to stop at the liquor store on the way home so that I'd have enough booze for that evening and next morning (a different liquor store each day, of course - wouldn't want them thinking I'm an alkie, right?). Couldn't use my debit card, because it would show up on the statement, so had to have cash.

- Quickly get dressed and put on some make-up ... obviously not a priority in my morning.
- Wake up husband and kids and try not to get too close to them, so that they won't smell the alcohol.
- Drive to work before the drink wore off.
- Get home mid-afternoon, fresh booze in hand. Drink. Don't clean the house. Don't do the dishes.
- Half-hour before hubby gets home, rush to clean the house to make it look like I've been doing something.
- OR .. Often times, I'd call hubby before he gets off work at 5:00 and tell him I just got home and didn't have time to plan dinner, and ask him to pick up something.

........... What a WASTE of space in my head, all this planning, morning to night. What a WASTE of time.

Yep, I did this EVERY SINGLE DAY... for months and months (the last few being the worst) and probably, to some extent, close to 1.5 years actually .. but I've been drinking way too much for many, many more years.

(Is that insanity or what? *sigh*) ..... (Thanks for listening.)

[blondechick]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Nope ,not insanity to me. I had similar routines. Especially the one about not getting too close to people. Having to go thru the checklist in my head every time someone would approach. Exhausting.

I would wait in line for coffee ( to mix my sambuca in) and be paranoid people knew I was buzzed or could smell the booze. Sambuca isn't exactly easy to cover.

Had a dr. appt at 9am and having her ask me if I drink. I still smelled like booze from the night before. Of course, I said I didn't.

[sunnydaz]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

What I hate about drinking

The things I hated the most about drinking is:

1. the way I felt the next morning....sick and so tired

2. The shame and guilt over what I did the night before

3. The depression

4. loss of energy

5. trying to make up for my mistakes

6. the money I blew

7. the reaction from family

8. the secrets and the lies

9. the loss of respect from others

10. the loss of respect for myself

And many more.....

So glad to be AF since Feb. 6, 2009

Sunnydaz

[DoneSon!]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I try not to use the word hate but... I HATE alcohol because the way it allows me to temporarily forget my morals. The way it depresses me. The good times it steals from me. The guilt I feel after a night of heavy drinking. Losing complete control of my mind and body. Finding myself avoiding my loved ones because I don't want them to see me getting wasted. Being "That guy". Being dependent on the stuff to stop the depression only to cause more depression. Watching my body deteriorate.

Thank you for coming up with this thread. I feel much better... not thirsty anymore.

[Bluesy]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

3 days- this thread is keeping me in check

Where to even begin....
-the overwhelming ANXIETY, depression, GUILT and fear. Afraid to live, afraid to die.
-the loss of self, the deepest shame. can't even look people in the eye
-so many lost nights that blurred into lost days bc i began drinking again as soon as i woke up
-the broken promises and unreliability to my husband and family...mostly to myself
-afraid that God and my body just can't forgive me this time
-total loss of memory and bodily functions- so shameful
-the fact that i hate all these things but want it so bad right now
-feeling like an absolute failure and so weak. i can't help but feel i have destroyed so much of my life
..and the list goes on:upset:
***please tell me these flu like symptoms will go away soon....

[LilBit]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

Bluesy, the flu-like symptoms WILL subside! And soon! The first few days are the worst and then it gets amazingly easier. Trust me, I was drinking like a fish every day for many years, stopped cold one day and went through all the nastiness you're feeling. It's par for the course. Tomorrow will be better. Hang in there!

[dill]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

:bump:
I needed to revisit this thread!

[Mackeral]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

How my children looked at me.
Spending money on alcahol instead of food.
Borrowing of begging for money for alcahol.
being an addict
Throwing up infront of children every morning.
Wetting the bed.
Feeling hopeless
Hating myself.
Not being the same person my wife married.
Blaming everyone else exept me.
Holding my family back.

[Kimberley]

What I HATE, LOATH, and JUST CAN'T STAND about drinking.

I hate the fact that I have a compulsion to drink something which wrecks my life in every conceivable way.