Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I've been thinking about compiling a list of how to stay sober & AF. Please add your own. I'll try any & all suggestions. For me:
1. (MOST IMPORTANTLY) I won't pick up a drink.
2. I will remember the misery brought on by my drinking (see DG's new thread: What I hate about drinking).
3. I won't let my denial in ("I'm not so bad." or "Maybe I'll just have one to relax.").
4. I will stop the drinking thinking as soon as it starts.
5. I will reflect on how wonderful my AF life is (see DG's thread: What I love about being AF).
6. I will stay busy doing things I enjoy but won't overdo (a trigger).
7. I will settle personal issues & conflicts ASAP.
8. I will live an honest life of integrity as a non-drinker.

Yesterday I was AF, & today I will not have a drink.

Mary

[retteacher]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

I wrote the opening post last night at 12 midnight. Where is everyone? I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I just put my second zero into DrinkTracker. I'm going to have a AF June. Mary

[charlee]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

I am here!!!!
I am going to choose the first two that popped in my head....there are so many!!!

Not picking up that first drink (even if I thought I could have just one)
Waking up the morning after

Mary, you are sounding so determined.....I have a feeling June is going to be a great month for you!!

[vinophile]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary and all Abbers,

Great Monday beginning here. What a beautiful day her in Ma. !!!Although I had two glasses of wine on Friday night (I did not follow my own advice and let myself get hungry!!!) I had a great AF weekend even though I had to attend graduation parties where a lot of alcohol was served. Sometimes after attending a social event where there is alcohol i feel deprived ... hence Betty Ford's saying "if you walk a slippery road you will slip" .... I feel very gateful for not having had a drink and therfore quite strong and committed today.
So on day three again I feel good. I look foward to reading the threads i missed over the weekend.
I did quickly read yesterday's thread and it's amazing how so many of us are animal lovers!!! I live on a street where we are the only ones with animals!!! I have two corgis and two cats who i love!!! I can't imagine life without them.
Off to the gym... will check in later.

Janet

[charlee]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

This was posted yesterday by Tiny, for those of you abbers who did not have a chance to read, please do......These words were instrumental in helping me to finally take that AF plunge.

I found this post by Chief hit home... perhaps others will agree. Chief (aka Don), thanks for the leadership and support you provide to all of us!!!!


Just give it up. Stop the battle. You will find it's much easier to quit drinking than to keep quitting....

The constant, daily torture we go through when trying to "control" our drinking is what makes us feel weak, stigmatized, and a failure. We start to think we can never win this battle, and some just surrender to it and "accept" the fact they are hopeless drunks who can never quit.

The reality IS we can never win this battle. So you stop the battle. You step out of the ring. You stop the insanity. If you've proven time after time you can't control drinking once you start, then the obvious solution is to never start. If you don't drink 1, you won't drink 12...it's easy to drink 0 or 12....it's impossible to drink 2.

So, why don't you just let it go....just let it go. There are 2 sides to this battle.....you and The Beast...but if you refuse to step into the ring with him, there can be no battle......you can just watch The Beast walk around the ring alone, with his head down, pouting because there's no one to play with.....
__________________
Tiny

[Doggygirl]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Char and Tiny - that is truly one of Chief's many great posts. THAT one belongs in a sticky!

Mary, sounds like you have a terrific plan. And that's a good reminder about the drink tracker!! I do well with rewards - so since it's a new month, I think I will get back to drink tracker with you. I'm glad you like the love/hate threads. I realized from my previous falls that when the desire to drink comes along, my fantasizing brain downplays the bad side, and supresses my thoughts of the great side of AF. So now we have those two right "in our face" when we need them as a reminder.

Oh - and from the hate thread Mary, I could relate to your point about booze in the coffee cup. Shades of way too many dog training Saturdays where I had a Voddy drink in one of those travel type coffee mugs with the lid. LOL - there were always some ice cubes in there which would make noise. So yeah. I'm sure everyone was totally fooled. How embarrassing.

Vino I'm sendin' you Corgi 'n' Kitty love! Good for you making it through the graduation parties without giving in.

Hello to all yet to come!!

DG
Day 12 AF
************

[4theboyz]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!!

Thanks Mary for starting this thread today! Abstaining 101, I like it! But for me it should be more like "AF for Dummies"! The nice weather here got the best of me and had to have that just one, so back to square one! :upset:

My addition to the list is by far the most critical (for me at least)

--Get rid of the booze!--

Have a super great AF day everyone!

[on my way]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Good morning all,

I hope everyone is well today. I think the best way for me to stay sober is not have al in the house, also know my triggers and deal wtih them before they bite me in the tail.

I did not get enough sleep last night, so I?m a bit addled today. Had a busy weekend, even got in some gardening and sunburn.. Here irony for you, the potatoes I planted are not doing very well, but there is an absolutely beautiful one going in my compost heap??? Think I will let it go, maybe we will get some potatoes after all.

I tend to ponder or dwell on thing a bit too much, and here is the latest. Our society has demonized cigarette smoking to an amazing level. I know of a few people who have quit out of sheer embarrassment. It is very unfashionable and also unhealthy, I agree with that. Now, society knows it is unhealthy to drink too much. And there are a great many people who are predisposed to alcoholism. But the media and Hollywood still make it look pretty darn nice. They?ll show a tall, fashionable, willowy woman waltzing around with a glass of wine in her hand all the time. Sure wish they would change their perspective on what looks good.

I have no doubt that I fall into the category of predisposed, always from the first sip, I wanted more. I see young folks today making the same poor choices I did. Looks cool to hang with friends and try new drinks?. all too often, way too many. I wish there were a way our society could see this epidemic as what it is and demonize al a bit more. Maybe it would spare a few from our path.

Whew, with that said I believe I will go to the garden and pull some weeds.
Have a great day!!

On my way

[retteacher]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

4theboys: Get right back into it. I can't imagine how you stopped at one...give yourself credit for not going on a bender.

OMW: I don't think I'd do very well here if there was booze at my disposal. Thank God my husb doesn't drink & doesn't mind not having booze around.

I love animals. I rescued a poodle last year (2 homes & lots of issues), but he's coming right along fine. Our groomer is a Corgi breeder. I really love that breed. We used to dogsit our neighbor's Corgi before she died. Is that a really sociable, friendly breed, or was Molly just the exception?

Have a great day. BTW, DrinkTracker really is a great tool if you love to see zeros racked up.

Mary

[Beck]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Hi everyone,

My day just got derailed by a sick kiddo. My 7 year old with stomach issues. So now I'm missing my run. Will be finishing up some projects I started then back to packing. This really isn't fun - but I have learned that fun doesn't come in a bottle. I will be pushing through today.

As for how do I not drink - I just don't. I've learned never to listen to my head - it still requests AL occasionally. I used to think I was so rational.

Mary, you sound better than you have in months. I'm very happy for you.

Janet, you sound like you may have turned a corner. My 13 year old wants a puppy when we move - I really need more to deal with now, don't I? We've been overseas for 7 years and a pet wasn't really workable. I'll try to view the puppy not just as something to pee on my hardwood floors.

4tB, sorry about your slip but glad you came back quickly.

DG and Mary, booze in a coffee cup...gin and tonic in a water bottle, vodka in a water bottle, JD in my diet coke can...those were ugly days.

OMW, you are right about glamorizing drinking. I showed my girls a pictures of Amy Winehouse as a cautionary tale. The contrast between how she looked a few years ago (before the drugs/drink) and how she looked just before rehab is stunning.

Char, good re-post. Chief's a smart guy.

Off to tend to the kiddo,
Beck

[cpn1004]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Thanks to all of you for great posts. I finally had an AF day yesterday. I plan to be here this month with y'all.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Phil: Keep coming to MWO & especially this thread every day. You can be AF...just stay committed. Share whatever you're going through. Together we can do this. You don't have to think into the future if that seems daunting. Just for today, I am not going to drink. I find that if I ride out the craving, it goes away.

Good luck, Mary

[on my way]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

nicely done phil, we'll be right here with you!!

[disapprovingcat]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Hello to all - I should be doing a dozen other things but thought I'd check in. Still AF - and I had to count - 103 days. I missed the last week or so on the drink tracker of May! Bummer - it is still fun filling in the zeros.

This time at the end of the school year is madness. Every day it seems that there are multiple events. Too many to be foggy in the morning - people are counting on me!
No worries, before I liked to stay up (drinking) now I want to go to bed at 9:30!

Welcome to the new folks, howdy to the regulars.

Beck - so right about Amy Winehouse (and Tatum Oneil!) We have met the enemy and he is us!!!!!!!

[Determinator]

Mon. - June 2 - Daily Thread

Happy Monday AB-units far and wide!!

finally back in the saddle at home here even though I have to pack up the car and race off to San Fran Freako today for a day or two.

for me what works is understanding the "why" behind things. Unfortunately there are few answers when it comes to alcoholism. they just say condescending things like: "you just can't drink". that always drove me buggy. I have no problems doing the effort as long as I can understand the "why".

at any rate I was so frustrated and determined to quit after a bad binge that I would do everything practical in a shotgun approach.

get al out of house
mwo hypno very faithfully
eat very healthy (no sugar and few simple carbs)
take my supplements very faithfully (l-glutamine etc)
exercise when feeling like I "needed something"
and perhaps the biggest motivator is the memory of the terrors of withdrawal. feeling like my brain was truly being chemically torn to pieces was the worst feeling that I could never imagine prior. I started to become terrified that I was driving myself insane, and that was a big motivator.
I started to put myself in my wifes shoes and that hurt at an emotional level that really woke me up further.

life without the "fog" in my mind is so absolutely grand that going back is truly unthinkable I'm glad to say. And having a happy wife is a heck of a nice thing

be well my friends!