Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I just read yesterday's daily thread all the way through. Great stuff there! First, Cindi, I hope you're OK. I think I missed what instigated your trip to the ER. The last I read, you had a sinus infection. I hope you're OK.

I think I'll comment on the social drinking vs. the alone drinking pattern that was mentioned yesterday. I too can get through most social situations wo/drinking now that I've done it quite a few times. Like you Janice, I enjoy social situations much more when I'm sober, & the biggest bonus of all is remembering everything the next day. We have a lot of dinners, parties, etc. coming up in June, but I'm not terribly worried.

My biggest nemisis is the alone drinking. I always went for the total drunk-out. I no longer used the "I'll only have one" excuse to drink. Therefore, I absolutely wouldn't let alcohol touch my lips, because there is no way I could stop. I read here at MWO on a thread that when a person starts drinking alone, his/her drinking goes to another whole level. That was absolutely true of me.

So far no cravings or urges. The odd thought will pass through my mind from time to time, but it's in & out. I'm trying very hard to think & act like a non-drinker. I'm telling people that drinking:
-gives me hot flashes.
-gives me headaches.
-doesn't agree w/me in my later years.
-interferes w/my sleep.

The insomnia is pretty annoying (it's 1:00 AM right now), but fatigue is a lot better than a hangover or yucky drunken sleep.

Take care of your sobriety everyone. Janice, I'm so glad you're back to your grateful, AF self again. 98 days is pretty darn extraordinary.

Mary

[Cinders]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Mary and everyone else,

Because of my constant traveling the last 10 years, alone drinking is what I have always done, except it has been alone in bars in hotels with other alone travelers drinking.

I drank at home, too, though, but was not alone there. Always had family barbecues, etc., where I drank quite openly.

Since being on MWO and trying to quit, my drinking did actually get worse for a while. It was disheartening but I am one of those who kept using the "I'll quit tomorrow and really tie one on tonight."

One day I just knew I HAD to quit or my life would be over. I love my job, I love my family and I could see it all fading away into drunkeness and stupidity.

I haven't been perfect since that day but my life is turning around. I hope and pray that my career isn't already damaged from it. The rehab stint, another stint in detox and then all the physical problems I have had recently, add that my daughter's issues.

However, AA and MWO and God have taught me not to worry about things I cannot change!! Only change those I can and should. (Serenity Prayer)

So, I love being sober because it means I can change the path my life was going down and I can get back in stride with career and family.

Love,
Cindi

[Loppy lugs]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Morning reteacher and all to follow

It is a beautiful sunny morning here, so impossible to be in a bad mood.

Read yesterdays posts and like reteacher I'm not sure what caused Cindi her dash to ER (or A&E as we call it over here). I hope whatever the problem, it is not longterm or serious and that you are feeling yourself very soon. but any trip to A&E gives me cause for concern.

Cowgirl, you seem to have been havin a rough time of it. My thoughts are with you even if I cannot offer any practical advice. All I can say is keep at it. I am starting to believe it is worth the struggle.

Charlee - Italy - Jealous - Say no more.

DG & others- the staying home drinking..... It touched such a spot... It made me think of all the opportunities and events I chose to miss because I stayed home drinking. It wasn't even as if I enjoyed it very much. Just how soon can I finish everything, get home and get blotto.

Haven't really posted on the Claude Steiner course because it was not about alcoholism it was about his other works, mainly transactional analysis. It was fascinating, but his choice of language - "asking for strokes" and "warm fuzzies" takes a bit of getting my head around even if they do describe very valid concepts.

I haven't had a chance to read his "free" book on alcoholism. I have been dipping into his other works on the subject back in the 70's but that was when he still wrote like an academic and they are not always easy reading. I know many people who slag off popular pyschology but if it "speaks" to even one person then I think it has a place. I have some free time on Saturday so am planning to sit down with it then.

As a parting shot... any ideas welcome... I went to a concert last night with my brother who I only see 3 or 4 times a year. He didn't know about my problems. I told him..... admitted as we were walking towards the venue, not a serious sit down conversation.... You have never seen anyone change the subject so quickly. A real reverse gear with wheelspin. What do you think that was all about? I am not upset, just very confused.

Anyway, late for work. Have a brilliant day everyone. Will try to check in again after work.

[Seen the light!]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Hi Mary cindi and loppy lugs

A quick check in this morning cos I'm running a bit late - I've been taking Nytol (herbal sleeping tablets) to help me sleep and I feel a bit groggy this morning - could it be down to them I wonder?

Going back to the theme of drinking - I did drink in the house and sometimes alone and I do think that this is when your problems do start getting out of hand - at one time I would never have done this. My biggest problem though is drinking when socialising as this is the only way I've socialised really in all my adult life - when I think of all the cringey moments I've had (the ones I can remember!) it makes me wonder why it's taken me so long to come to my senses!!

Best make a move - have a great day everyone xxxx

[beatle]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Hi everyone. I haven't been on this forum before since I didn't fit into the "monthly abstainers" category until now (4 weeks and 1 day AF today). Actually, I did take one drink in that time, but that was to test the efficacy of Antabuse, so I'm not counting that since it was truthfully carried out for the purpose of scientific experimentation.

Cindi, are you ok? I missed that you were in ER.

Seen the light, I've been taking melatonin, lithium orotate and valerian for sleep (yes all three, and sometimes Calms Forte on top of that!). It works and I am not groggy in the morning (though it is hard to wake up).

[Pamina]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Lovely sunny morning all!

Thanks for all thoughts from yesterday. I need to be off, so just a quick stop-over.

Beck - well done packing AF. I can relate to the being in charge of your time. My job is flexible and it can be daunting not to have an externally structuring framework.

DG - hope you survived the outlaws. As for staying in the house to drink and not to drink... You must have a nice house! And yep, searching soul, that's me.

Vinophile - we weren't designed for long-term hermiting...

4tbz - have a great break!

Cowgal - today is a new day. It's sunny, beautiful and full of AF energy!

Char - I hear you about being overwhelmed. But maybe you can think about the situations in advance (even if you feel overwhelmed in that moment in your house) and what you can do to alleviate the overwhelm from happening in the actual situation.

Mary - you sound strong and determined. Hope you find a concoction for the insomnia.

STL - new modes of socialising to look forward to!

Loppy - it could be many things with your brother. Could you have a proper chat with him?

Cindi - self-care! Good on you for taking yourself to ER. Look after yourself.

As for the second part of the serenity prayer - change the things you can and should. That's my motto for June. What have I been avoiding by sitting in the bottle? Identify the objects of avoidance and start tackling them. One day at a time.

Happy Thursday everyone

[Cinders]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Happy Thursday Again,

I have a sinus infection, probably viral because it has lasted almost two full weeks, that caused so much swelling in my head that it started pinching the trigminal nerve. The pain was incredible. I was up all night Wednesday pacing back in forth in my room from 2:00 to 4:00, slept 3 hours and tried to go to work.

I ended up just going to the ER in town and got a shot of steroids, a pack of steroids, some antihistamine/decongestant and Vicodin. By the time I got the scripts filled, the shot had done wonders and I was given immense relief. I did not take the Vicodin because Noelle reminded me that taking Vicodin caused her to start drinking again, and also Meditation Mama had the same response to it.

Even though I take Antabuse, I must realize that vigilance is required and Vicodin can break down that vigilance. I also would hate to get addicted to another drug.

Thanks for your concern, I ended up not sleeping again last night for more than two hours but it had nothing to do with pain, so off I go to work worn out but at least pain free.

Have a great day, all.

Love,
Cindi

[Tiny]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Hi all -- I am looking for a daily thread to join and I do hope yuou'll have me... I always read anything posted by Mary!!!! I can tell that Mary is a retired teacher because she demonstrates classroom leadership with us!

A quick intro -- I am Tiny -- a 40 year old 8 days AF wine is my weakness!!

I have a supportive boyfriend (never has drank) and am on track to doing a major lifestyle overhaul... I love dogs and have a pug and a toy poodle (pug came first so he got the avatar!) I lurk more than I post but I learn from all of you everyday! I look forward to getting to know you all! I am off to work -- I work as an administrator at a large university -- high stress!!!! But I like my job and I'm good at it (am I bragging?) but I need to manage the stress in a healthy way!!!!! Off to work!!!

[Cinders]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Tiny,

You are more than :welcome: to our little group. Glad you are here.

Like you, I always read what Mary posts. She brings good thoughts to the threads daily. We all love her for it.

I have a very hyper Lab/Weimeraner mix that I miss when I am on the road. Mary has a poodle that she saved and is training. There are several others with dogs.

I also have two cats. Sometimes the cats and the dog play. It gets really loud!!

Have a good day and will "see" you around on the Monthly Abs thread.

Cindi

[charlee]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Morning all
I too, was an alone drinker, social situations were never a problem as I knew I had my stash waiting for me at home where I could have real drinks, drinks that would pack a punch!. Ocassion drinks just would tide me over until I got home. I found them "no fun".
Funny thing, that mind of ours.....We had a girls nite out yesterday (work), and all the buzz all day was "can't wait to have a drink", "gonna get bombed"..the usual office chatter. I felt like a child looking in the candy store window, wanting but can't have and of course the poor me attitude set in. My mind saw and tasted those nice cold beverages.....Upon arriving, the drinks were ordered, I had my iced tea, and never gave it another thought..enjoyed the meal and our conversation.....AL is in my head everyday, not an urge or craving, just there.....I think I am going back to behaving like a child, just wanting what I can't have (even if I don't really want it)!!....Make sense to any of you??

[Cinders]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Charlee,

It makes perfect sense. Even though I know I can't drink, occasionally I actually consider it when I go down to the hotel bar and eat. But, once I order my Diet Coke or iced tea, the thought is gone. Kind of weird, huh?

I guess actions speak louder than thoughts, after all.

Love,
Cindi

[4theboyz]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!!

First a hearty welcome to Tiny, look forward to your words of AF wisdom. I'm running around like a nervous ninny trying to stay 1 step ahead of AL and getting all the gear together for our trip in 2 days. I have made a solid and very firm commitment to go my first vacation in my adult life clean as a whistle as they say.

I preferred to drink alone as that allowed me to drink as much as I wanted without anyone to tell me otherwise. It is such a complicated mess when I start reviewing everything involved, but I have made being aware of them a priority and it has helped immensely in avoiding these "moments" of temptation.

Off to work I go and have a *great* AF day today everyone!!!

[retteacher]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Tiny: Thank you for your kind words & welcome. Your contributions are as valuable as anyone's. We're all in this journey to sobriety together; therefore, any insights you might have will add to everyone's knowledge & experience.

LL: It might be that your revelation about your new AF goal struck close to home w/your brother (i.e. himself or one of his loved ones might be struggling w/alcohol addiction). I'd change the subject if I was drinking too much or someone close to me was.

Drinking Alone: That was my ruination. I will avoid that at all costs. As far as drinking socially (even a little bit): that would probably only whet my appetite for more booze, so I'd best avoid that pitfall. We have a dinner Sat. night & party Sun. I'm bringing my own bottle of selzer. That'll be an announcement to all that I'm going AF.

Mary

[retteacher]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Tiny & Cindi: After 7 dog-free years, we adopted a shelter mini-poodle last year. He is wonderful but not wo/his issues.
-hyper-activity
-fear of strangers

However, he has added so much love to our lives. We're in the process of his 3rd set of dog classes, & they help.

I love pugs. There's a pug rescue here in MA, but one dog is enough for me at this point in my life.

Mary

[Janice]

Thurs. - June 5th - Daily Thread

Hi everyone.....just read through quickly and wasn't going to post as I feel as if I have nothing positive to add to today's thread......but then I remembered and thought about Mary and how she never stays away.

100th day and not coping well - everything is getting on top of me and feel I'm gonna cave. The last few nights have seen me waking up in the early hours with terrible dreams about mam, last night dad too. I bought some AF becks today just incase, I'm trying to hold out but I'm not sure if I can do this anymore. I'm sorry.

Janicexxx