Friday 6 June

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all, I am cheerful so guess what the weather is doing!!!

Heaps of thought provoking thoughts yesterday.

Thanks for the advice about my brother. However if I could "talk" to anyone rather than just make converation I don't think I would have got myself in this mess in the first place. Hence the Claude Steiner class. And yes heaps of people were right. My brother used to be the big drinker in the family but hasn't been that bad in the last few years. Can't second guess him so will just let sleeping dogs lie.

Re Dogs what a heap of animal lovers we are. I don't have a lifestyle where I can have dogs anymore but have a couple of free range houserabbits to welcome me home. One of whom is now at the very advanced age of 11. But spring is in the air and he is acting like a real casanova with his nubile young wife. He thinks he is a young buck again which is lovely. It's great to come home to animals who love us and need us but make few demands. Well beyond "feed me now" and "nose rub now"

For the last few years for me it wasn't that I wanted a drink, I wanted to be drunk. This feeling has followed me into AF which is why I think I have put on 12 pounds so far. I feel bad and I don't want to feel like that. I can't / won't drink so ....... There is a school of thought that says you can't work on why you drink until you stop. Seems to be true for me. I think I have a long way to go.

Cindi, I knew abut the sinus infection but in my naivity I thought it had been getting better not worse. Hope this time they have your meds right because pain is so wearing. Although you have been doing good and being very supportive of us all.

Janice.... Don't have the words, but if I could make it better I would. You have a lot on your plate but you have been up to it before. Think about how much we all care for you when you feel low. You have been so brave and AL saps that. 101 days?

And as a sign off Sober Soppiness Rules OK. Love you folks.

[Seen the light!]

Friday 6 June

Morning Loppy and those to follow,

Loppy - could it be that your brother can't cope with big issues - some men (not all) can't talk about deep problems - they find it easier to ignore them - I know my brother's like that.

Janice - please try stay strong I'm sure these dark feelings will pass and you will be so glad that you made it through without AL xxx

I'm gonna be late for work if I don't hurry up! Hope you all have a great weekend don't always have the opportunity to post on a weekend but I will try. It's the start of Day 6 for me and I am still positive about the party on Sat - am looking forward to it and seeing it as an important challenge!!

Take care xxxx

[beatle]

Friday 6 June

Hello everyone. Hope you are doing better today Janice. Please check in.

Loppy, I'm with you on the weather here. It's a beautiful day today, has been beautiful for a couple weeks, which has made it oh so much easier to stay upbeat and active.

Hope everyone else is doing well today. "See" you all later.

[jessie]

Friday 6 June

Hi Loppy,
I've never had a rabbit as a pet - but there is always cats and dogs around me. Fell asleep last night with a dog behind my back and the cat almost on my chest. That is so cosy.
Love
Jessie

[Pamina]

Friday 6 June

Morning all!

Loppy, you must have soaked up all those early rays. Very grey, summer foggy looking now.

Janice - wishing you strength and support in riding out the rough seas.

I'm feeling nervous about tonight. I will most likely meet a friend who doesn't yet know about my abstinence. Everyone has been supportive so far, even if surprised, whether they drink little or lots themselves. Had a chat the other night with someone who'd had a close call, getting lost drunk at night in north London, and who wanted to drink less. She then went on to buy multiple pints though she'd planned to have a half and go home. But she didn't resent me having my cranberry juice. If anything, she saw it as a little nudge for her to start a change.

But this guy is a different story. He drinks 8-10 pints most nights with his 'mates' and 'thinks' he could stop if he decided to. This has never been put to the test. He's a sweet man and was very helpful to me in an earlier time but we've been drifting apart for a while. We used to be drinking buddies, and without my drinking, I fear the end of the friendship. I've been a binge drinker but I've also had other interests and non-drinking friends. He seems ONLY to have the pub and his pub mates. For him, giving up drink would mean giving up life as he knows it. Something about him evokes a huge sadness for me. A few years ago I was really concerned about his health and persuaded him to sign up with a GP. At least they're now monitoring his blood pressure, but nothing has changed in his life style. I'd so like to try to help him but have gradually come to realise I can't. It feels so sad but that's just the way it is. I wonder if my AF decision has now put me permanently on a different planet from him. But so be it.

Sorry about the long ramble. I needed to psych myself up.

Be vigilant over the weekend abberoos!

[4theboyz]

Friday 6 June

Good Morning Abbers!!!

Lets talk about pets since my weather is downright criminal.

Loppy I should have known you have free ranging 'bits running around. We just picked up our 3rd called Harley who is named after his breed Blue Harlequin Dutch. He is more of a lap rabbit who loves to be cradled and his belly scratched. We are working on the free ranging part since he still needs to be caged at night.

Seen, I'm on day 5 nippin' at your heels keep it going!

Pamina, you are facing those tough moments and possibly tough choices! If you were a binger, hanging with someone who drinks 8-10 pints an outing could put right back on that track, please be very careful here. Look as this as a challenge to gauge your own sobriety as you watch first hand what that many beers does to ones personality. It may not be pretty.

Me, I've been shaking my head at the trouble I had to go though again with these first 5 days of shaking the blues over not drinking. Today is one of thsoe little victory days as I woke up tired (Tons of never ending dreams) but I feel clean and clear headed despite the Benadryl nudge before bed.

Have a great AF day, weekend and next week all since this is my last wake up with you for 8 days as I go RR in the north woods of WI with my family.

Be good while I'm gone as I will try to as well!! :l:l:l:l

[charlee]

Friday 6 June

Morning everyone
Off to work, just time for a quick hello.......Janice hope you will check in with us soon, keeping you in my thoughts....I will try to check in later...

[Beck]

Friday 6 June

Good Morning everyone,

Getting really busy here. Kids wrapping up school year and move prep. Wanted to pop in and say hello before the chance got away from me...

A case of forgetting...the dentist office called yesterday to confirm my appt for this am. She told me to remember to 'self-medicate". I almost laughed out loud b/c my mind immediately thought of 2 hits of vodka in the parking lot. Really just a reminder to take my anti-biotics.

Loppy, Understand completely about the not talking to people thing. Most people are so caught up in themselves that they don't notice they hardly know a thing about me. I know this is not the way I want to things to be though. Your brother, I would let that lie.

Seen, check in if you can this weekend. We'll be celebrating double digits with you soon!

Pamina, I have a friend I am getting together with over the summer. We spoke on the phone last week and she referred to me as her "drinking buddy" I didn't correct her. I'm not worried about losing her - she will get it - but there will be others who don't. I think when we change it threatens people. I just give them their space and let them adapt or leave.

hello jessie and beatle.

Janice, be well...

Beck

[Beck]

Friday 6 June

4tb,

Cross posting...I think one of the main things that has kept me on track is the fear that it really won't be much easier to quit "next time". Have a great trip with your family.

Beck

[cowgal]

Friday 6 June

TGIF!!!

Hey all,

Janice you are in my thoughts too, stay well................:h

4thBz, have a great trip!:l

Pets, don't know what I'd do without them..............love my dog, cat, chickens and horses.........(well, the last 2 don't really wag their tails or greet me except when they see food!)

Beck you had me chuckle when "self-medicating" w/ the vodka outside the dentist office, I could picture doing it.................YUCK!!!

Loppy, Pamina, Charle, Seen, Beetle, Jessie and everyone who I am sure I have missed, HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Love,:l:h

MA

[retteacher]

Friday 6 June

I just read yesterday's daily all the way through. Janice, please reconsider caving. I did it after over 100 days, & I can't tell you how bad I felt about myself. Someone (Cindi I think) made the suggestion of looking at some of your old posts, both grateful ones & the ones where you'd slipped. That might give you a needed reality check. Whatever you decide to do, we're here ALWAYS & are a support to you.

One of the things I try to remember about my alcoholic loved ones (my son in particular) is that they have their own paths. It's not for us to determine what that path should be. Again, I can't tell you how much admiration I have for you. I've always admired the lovely relationship you had w/your Dad. I see something similar in my (now adult) daughter's w/my husband. It's heart-warming, & it's something you & she will always have even if Dad is no longer on this physical plane.

I'm doing very well. I'm juggling social engagements, but that has never been a real huge problem. I'm just enjoying my AF life at the moment & let those drinking thoughts come & go. I know there will be a point at which they will no longer bother me at all.

Love, Mary

[Janice]

Friday 6 June

What can I say but a big thank you for all the good wishes, encouragement and support.

These feelings have really taken me by surpise......right from when I decided to abstain, I never doubted my decision until this last week. I knew I was at a stage where I just couldn't go on like I was....I was "pussyfooting" around playing at trying to moderate my drinking. So, after reading some very welcome posts/advice on MWO and listening to my head, I decided I had to quit full stop. I just got on with it and enjoyed my newfound sobriety. I didn't have any cravings, physically or emotionally. I didn't even take the vits/supps. All the problems with mam, past and present, just reinforced my decision and how right it was for me.........like I say up until this last week.

Maybe I've just become too complacent, maybe it is the stress, the time of the year or whatever, I don't know. But those old romantic feelings have come back and I know I have to take firm control, listen to my head and not my heart.

Thank you all so much for your support......I really do appreciate it.

love Janicexxx

[Cinders]

Friday 6 June

Janice,

Isn't this place amazing? I have been struggling so hard the last couple of days myself. When I posted about obsession this morning, so many positive responses quickly turned me around.

I hesitated to post it because I didn't want to be a downer but now realize that is part of the alcoholic personality in me. Don't ever displease people. Well, I sure learned a valuable lesson today.

Thank you for checking in with us, btw, we all were worried. I am sure you could tell...

Love,
Cindi

[Determinator]

Friday 6 June

Aloha Friday Aberoonies!

I really must start posting in the evenings since I'm on the left coast of the US and seem to be last to get my ass rolling! lol

doing good here after a really tough day yesterday...got really angry and frustrated about work crap yesterday which was not good. Analyzing that now. I think running out of garlic didn't help. (really! eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!)

ok, I gotta mosey, you all be well

[Beck]

Friday 6 June

Janice and Cindi,

I sometimes wonder why we are so reluctant to post when we are struggling. Are we really afraid of making it harder for the newbies/bringing down the thread or is it b/c as women we are taught to put ourselves last? For me, part of why I have this problem is b/c I put myself last.

So glad you have both pulled through,
Beck