Wednesday 18 June

[Loppy lugs]

Morning all,

Thanks for all the good advice yesterday. I can read from the office but not post. I blamed the cold, came home and ws tucked up in bed by 7.30. Putting me first is my first priority this summer.

I think everyone is going to have to get used to the new sober me. I am not a party animal anymore.

I don't think my friend meant anything by it. I suspect her husband's friend suggested doing something for last night and when she said she was seeing me it just snowballed because "oh she won't mind".

Well actually ,I always would have minded, but I never would have said anything and I would have made the best of it and had a good time anyway.

Then, just as many of you said I would have resented it. Bleating on about Steiner but this is the main behaviour on that course that I did a few weeks back, that I dentified with. If I don't tell them I don't like something how can they know.

The antabuse is taking care of the not drinking but this finding the real me without alcohol is certainly challenging. Thanks for all your support.

Hope everyone had a good day yesterday.

and if anyone wants to look at cute bunny pics this is the site I go to whenever Suggs needs a new wife. Well at 11 he keeps outliving them!

Rabbit Rehome - Adopt an unwanted bunny from a rescue centre

Thanks again folks

[Pamina]

Wednesday 18 June

Morning Loppy and Dolphin and all to come,

Here's to confidence! Good for you Loppy, speaking up for yourself. Shout loud and proud!

Beatle - that's a tricky situation about your job. If you've wanted to leave for a while now, then this does present an opportunity. I think the key question is how will you feel in yourself. In 5 years time when you look back on it, will you think "I'm so glad I got out of there, that was perfect timing" or will you think "I'm so glad I fought them, proved myself on that job and found a new one on my own terms in my own time".

Cindi - Hope you're ok with the travel, the pain, the scan results... Come join us soon.

The weather's back to dull, blustery English grey. That's perfect for what I need to do today. I'm not sure when procrastination became a habit, but it seems to go along with the "lets take a break - I need a time-out from stress - I need a confidence booster - just really don't want to think about THAT right now - so need a stint in la-la land" thinking that accompanies that magic glass.

I took on some extra work that hasn't been a priority but it does need to get done. TODAY!!

Have a good one everybody!

[4theboyz]

Wednesday 18 June

Good Morning Abbers!

Thanks for the link to the rabbits page Loppy, the Dutch at the top is a twin for the Blue Harlequin we have at home. Just moved the bugger down into our Family room and he is now a constant part of action bounding around as he please!

Staying busy still since the vacation and that really seems to be key to helping me along here as I am too tired to even think of drinking. If I do get urges they seem to pass much quicker now and with less fuss and remorse on my account. I find a Club soda and some fresh from the garden Lemon mint garnish is a nice relaxing way to saunter through a summer evening.

Well off to insanity land here at work. Have a super great AF day Abbers!!

4tb

[Doggygirl]

Wednesday 18 June

Hello abbers. Happy Wednesday!

I decided I'm going to call my AF days HF (Hangover Free) days because it's more directly to my benefits list of being AF. HF day 28 here.

4tb it's great to have you back! Sounds like you had a great vacation. What's this lemon mint stuff out of your garden?? Sounds good.

Pamina - I suppose if one has to do extra work, a grey and blustery day is a good time for it!

Hi dolphin and congrats on your 3+ weeks AF!

Loppy there really is a lot for us to learn about ourselves once we climb out of the bottle isn't there. For now I'm just living in each day, but I know the day will come when I face up to stuff too that will feel more challenging.

beatle, best wishes sorting out your job situation. Not fun. All I know for sure is that our futures are much brighter without the booze than they were with the booze.

Thinking of Beck with her move, and also everyone else who might be struggling today.

DG
Celebrating 28 HF days
****************************

[Determinator]

Wednesday 18 June

Top of the Wednesday AB-aroonies!

another day of manic CA driving so I'm grateful to be clear headed and rested.

lately I've been trying to be as aware as possible of my "now moment" and really be present in life. trying to unprogram my subconscious reactions to certain stimuli.

be well everyone

[renewal]

Wednesday 18 June

Hi Loopy....FYI, I've started a new thread for those newbies who wish to do this together (Newbies Unite)....just wanted to pass the word......Renewal

[beatle]

Wednesday 18 June

Hello all. Another sober day gone by ... still, not a single day goes by that I don't think about AL. In fact, today I started planning in the morning to just buy a couple ciders at the store (they've come out with a yummy sounding flavor-- summer berry), but when I did go shopping I managed to talk myself out of it mostly by thinking about my brain. I realize that although I can almost certainly manage to drink just a coulple, that my brain is in the process of being re-wired, and even introducing a little alcohol at this point can undo a lot of the progress it is making in adjusting to being AF. I'll admit there was a moment where it was awfully close, but as soon as I had decided against it, I stopped thinking about it. For a while.

Meanwhile, I have decided to let the job go. I tried to imagine myself in a few weeks, in a few months both in the job and without, and found I felt much more positive about the "without" image. It was much more flexible, and I imagined myself doing new and different things. It felt full of promise. Meanwhile, if I stay in the job, I can predict exactly what I'l be doing and it isn't particularly growth-oriented. (Oh yeh, and I am looking forward to having a summer vacation, he he). Anyway, I feel good and relieved about this decision. And, no sooner had I mentally shut that door behind me, than a new one opened up in the form of an offer for a short-term job that I can do from home. After that, only the future will tell...

Have a great day/night everyone (may they be empty of AL and full of "now moments").

-b

[skootiemom]

Wednesday 18 June

Good day Abbers...

Doggygirl.... I LOVE the HF idea... AF rings of deprivation for me, at this point anyways.

Deter- I have been trying to live in the moment...it's so hard in this day and age when we are all working for 'something else' later on down the road ( fill the gas tank, pay the Visa , take that vacation).... I try just to stop myself , at stop lights, anywhere and look for something beautiful... breathe in and take a mental picture, It's amazing the stuff I see now... ever since a friend of mine passed almost 2 years ago ( she took her own life), I have been stopping to smell the flowers, literally.

Have another great HF day everyone!

Skoots

[Loppy lugs]

Wednesday 18 June

Hi again everyone,

Thought I'd pass on the benfit of my experience while it is still fresh in my mind, stomache, head.... To those taking antabuse. Optrex has alcohol in it!!!!!!! Of all the things I thought I'd have to watch out for eye wash wasn't one of them. I never intended to test antabuse but now I know it works!!!!!

Beatle glad to hear that things are so positive about your change of career. Onwards and upwards with lession learnt. Bet you didn't think you would feel this positive when it all went down on Monday. Many years back, I had a whole year like that. Loads of rubbish things happened to me but every single time something bad happened something good happened immediately afterwards. By the end of the year if something rotten happened I was "oh good, wonder what will happen now"

Cindi, any news?

Beck, good luck withn your large shipment. Is this the one with the lurking bottles?

I certainly seem to have struck a chord with many people about, pleasing others and not speaking up for ourselves. I think practice is the only answer, we can't change overnight.

One question though, am I the only person who has a totally different work persona? The work me would never duck an issue or go along with the crowd just for an easy life.

4tb, Suggs is a black and white dutch who looks like he is wearing a tuxedo.

Sleep well all catch you tomorrow.

[retteacher]

Wednesday 18 June

Hi Everyone: I'm doing well. I agree that finding oneself after years of numbing out can be difficult. I think some of the relapses I've had were because it seemed like too much of an effort. I'm trying to relax into it at this point. I too think about AL every day w/decreasing frequency as the AF days go by.

My daughter is an elementary teacher, & today was field day (kind of a big play day for the school). I took the 2 grandsons to it. We had a great time. Last year, I went w/the g-sons & a hangover & cooked in the sun. This year I was HF (hangover free), & it made all the difference in the world.

Today I thanked God for my sobriety.

Mary

[Lorelei]

Wednesday 18 June

Hello Abbers,

Its been quite a while since I checked in and I'm sorry for that. I've been working around the house alot and working on finding some things out about myself. There were a quite a few triggers in there and I think I've made progress on quite a few of them. I did slip a couple of times so I can't say I made my second 30 straight through but I have been sober for all but 4 of them. One thing I was glad to see was that I did not feel compelled to drink again after I had slipped. This gives me some hope for a shot a moderation far in my future, but not something I will consider at this time.....still too much to be done.

Its been a hectic week again already and I think I will hit the sack very early tonight and try to catch up on some sleep. I thought I best check in before anyone got too worried. See you all as I have time and know that I am thinking of you all on a daily basis.

Hugs,

Lorelei