June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

It's almost 10 AM here, & I was surprised to see that this thread was not started. I really like to check in here every day. I hope all is well w/all my friends out there. I'm doing well...trying to balance activity & rest. That's essential for me, because when I let myself get too tired & stressed, I feel the need for a drink. I think that now that I'm getting sober, I'm living a more mindful life. I'm not on automatic pilot as much.

I just read an interesting article in the local paper about lying. Apparently, people, in general, lie much more than we realize. I know that when I was drinking, lying & hiding was a way of life for me. I think that spiritual breakdown was the most destructive aspect of my drinking...even more destructive than the physical effects. Today, I can honestly say that I live w/a degree of integrity that I haven't had during the drinking years. Being able to say what I need to say honestly & clearly is an even bigger gift than waking up wo/a hangover.

I have some family time this weekend w/my g-sons & children. There won't be any drinking at all. I'm still taking my sobriety one day at a time. I have a sobriety calculator, but I don't look at it every day. At this point, I just want to savor my AF life on a daily basis.

Thanks for being here everyone, Mary

[retteacher]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Janice: I haven't seen your posts lately. Are you on vacation (holiday)? I hope you're doing well.

Cindi: I hope your pain is clearing up. Let us know how you're doing. Mary

[retteacher]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

One additional thought:

I'm finding that the people closest to me want the real Mary. My husb is getting used to having his positions, opinions, & attitudes questioned. He's got a great sense of humor & intelligence, & I sense that those parts of him are piqued by my new-found out-spokenness. I don't need to tread lightly all the time.

[Tiny]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Good Morning All -- thanks for getting us going Mary...

Mary, interesting insight on lying -- boy when I knew I wanted to spend time drinking wine instead of anything else I came up with who knows what -- oh and the reasons why I looked so haggard (I was really hung over) but I had every excuse in the book for whatever ailment I made up...

I went to a dinner party with my boyfriend last night and I drank Sprite ZERO -- I asked about the sweetner because it is sugar free. Folks said it is aspartame and not good for you. I almost immediately started to drink water. Funny, why would I not have done that during my wine drinking days?????

Good news I am still AF and HF (thanks to our friend DG for the HF term)!

Have a super AF day all!

[ready2change]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Happy Saturday to all! Am looking forward to a break from this heat wave we have been having. It reached 114 here in some areas yesterday!! This is California near the coast for heavens sake!! My house was 97 degrees until late last nite (no air cond)...and it has been going on like this for 3 days!!

At least I got to take my doggies to work with me in the afternoon, my office is air conditioned. So hopefully it won't be as hot today?

Hope everyone has a super weekend and meets their goals. I'm working on mine.

R2C

[Doggygirl]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Mary, you have terrific insights as always. Thank you for generously sharing with us on a daily basis. Boy you are not kidding about the lying - on so many levels every single day. Then Tiny - I can relate to what you say. I cannot even COUNT the number of family events, events that would have been beneficial to our business, friends, etc. I blew off for various made up reasons when the TRUTH was - I would rather stay home and drink all day. So sad. But onward and forward we go to better places and times!!

R2C - I was hearing about the CA heat wave on the news last night. That is scary!! I'm glad you work in the A/C where you can take your dogs. Do you have A/C at home? I know some people think that's a silly question - but my parents home here in IL doesn't have A/C and my own home only has individual wall units (like window units - just in a hole in the wall under a window instead of in it). So 97 degrees AT NIGHT gets really uncomfortable if not downright scary hot. Be safe, OK?

A couple of our regular dog training folks had to cancel at the last minute, and there are no new people today. So I think I'm going to make it a lazy one - I might not even get the camera out. I'm going to take a chair and my book and my water down under a shade tree, and just watch and read. I didn't have time to stop by the store this morning to get fresh ginger and mint to try louise's special AF drink recipe. But I have that Lipton ice tea citrus stuff on hand as my special thing!! Tiny - I agree the artificial sweetners aren't good...but I'm hoping an occassional beverage isn't the end of the world. I try to use Stevia as much as possible.

Anyway.....

Happy Hangover Free Saturday to all yet to come!!

DG
Day 31 HF
:award:+*

[4theboyz]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!!

Lying? I wrote the book on lying and am so remorseful now over the level of lying I put forth. Of course it to myself that I did the most lying to and that has been one of the better moments of going AF by coming to terms and peace with myself over the lying parts. More crazy rain here in the Midwest, getting used to this insanity.

Well I hope everyone does their thing and have a great AF day today - I will!!

4tb

[Evie.Lou]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA.....HAVE A GRET SOBER SUMMER WEEKEND....

[retteacher]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

4theboys: Yes, lying to ourselves. I forgot about that for a minute...thanks for the reminder. For me, it's called denial:
-I really don't drink that much.
-I'll only have one.
-I deserve this drink.
-Everyone else can so I will too.
-etc.

Awful. It kept me drinking a long time.

Mary

[spedteach]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

I love hearing from all of you reformed liars. To be perfectly honest, I think I personally told more lies than any of you other guys did!!!
Mary, you're so right about the spiritual breakdown that comes with alcoholism. There was no right or wrong for me; it was all about me and getting the booze or drugs I felt that I had to have. Lying, stealing, hurting other people; not a problem as long as I got what I wanted. Makes me sad to think about it...but, 58 days today and I will go out of my way today to be caring and giving to my fellow human beings (dogs and kitties, etc. included).
Love from the desert, oh mighty Midwest, send some of that rain our way.
sped

[Janice]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Hi there....not had much time this week to read or post. I'm okay Mary just things are hard with mam at the moment - we're having to go down the residential care route and need to decide on a place. Saw her last weekend and she was bad, so so confused - thought she was a little girl and me and my husband were her mam and dad.

Its Dad's 1 year anniversary Friday coming....but we have a happy day on Thursday to look forward to, my son's graduation followed by our trip to Switzerland next Saturday for a week. So, I'll probs not be on much.

Looking forward to catching up with all your posts,

much love


Janicexxx

[retteacher]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Janice: Great hearing from you. You'll know the right place for Mam when you see it. I know your Dad will be w/you for the graduation & the lovely holiday you have planned. Mary

SPEDteacher: I just wanted to let you know that I was a SPED teacher for 25 years (until my retirement in 05). Many happy & some frustrated memories.

Mary

[Determinator]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Happy late check-in ABlanders!

ah yes...integrity is everything.... I firmly think so.
sure is nice to look at ones image in the mirror with respect and calm.

well done on the weekend resolve everyone! and try not to melt...yeesh...it's about a zillion degrees in the Nevada desert today. Lets all make some iced tea!

be well friends

[biscuit]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Wow I had not thought of the lying, it became easier for me once my friends moved away. I just
did not answer their e-mails or phone calls. Therefore I changed from lying to avoiding. I never
hid it from my hubby.

I have a question for anyone who is AF and hid it from friends and family, do you ever come
out and if so why? Is it a necessary step for recovery?

Biscuit

[Susitna]

June 21 - Sat. - Daily Thread

Wow, this is a really timely thread for me.

I know that I just started here (first post was on Monday), and I haven't been checking in everyday because my school took me to a symposium in Denver, where I've been since Wednesday. Because the meeting pace has been so intense, and I've had to spend a lot of time on homework in the evenings, I haven't scanned many posts, nor have I posted myself, but, guess what? I'm still AF. 6 days today, with no time for cravings, and no time to drink.

I just now posted my last assignment for the week, the symposium wraps up tomorrow, and it's only 7 pm here in a city in which I don't know anyone and it's a saturday night. I found myself thinking about how it would be great to go down to the hotel bar and just have a leisurely drink (editor's note: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). Talk about lying to yourself! I had nearly had myself thinking that I'm such a non-problem drinker that I can sit there, have one, and no worries, no harm done.

Thanks for this. I intend to make it to AF day 7.

Syrpentine.