It's one of those sleepless nights, so I'm writing this in the wee hours. I'll be tired tomorrow but not hungover. I have a feeling of pride in myself that I'm getting through life's difficulties sober. A sleepless night was an great excuse for me to drink & fall into bed semi-conscious.
As the days since my last drink have built up, I'm finding that the old triggers are losing their power over me. I think it's because I've learned to give myself a reality check.
-Trigger: the cold glass of white wine - Reality: one would never be enough.
-Trigger: sipping drinks at a party - Reality: obssessing about when I could have my next one.
-Trigger: destressing w/a drink - Reality: drinking the whole bottle.
Since I've been a member of MWO, I've had slips & lapses, but I haven't returned to the type of drinking I did pre-MWO. The longer I stay away from that kind of drinking, the stronger I feel in the AF lifestyle. It's OK for me. I don't have to drink to have fun & feel comfortable. The final years of my drinking weren't fun or comfortable for me. It was pure shame & paranoia. It's times like this that I just feel that well-up of gratitude that I found MWO & was able to make this change in my life. I haven't done it perfectly, but my life is different today than it was a year ago.
Thank you is all I can say, Mary
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