June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I thought I'd start this thread in lieu of tossing & turning. Yesterday's thread was fun to reread. And speaking of fun: I think I'm beginning to find out how to relax & have fun wo/AL. Tonight my daughter & g-sons came for dinner. I had simple food prepared & felt completely relaxed & at ease. I asked for help when I needed it (as opposed to doing it ALL). After dinner, my daughter & my husband gave the kids their bath/shower together...a kind of father/daughter bonding experience I would have eliminated if I had stepped in (which I so often did in the past). Instead, I cleaned up the kitchen in a leisurely fashion.

I think I'm learning that I don't have to overdo all the time. Others WANT to pitch in & help. When I wear myself out, that's when I'm vulnerable to wanting a drink in order to "relax" in my previous unhealthy way.

I am so happy to be sober one day at a time. I'm not thinking about the distant future. I'm not thinking about events that might tempt me. I'm just thinking about staying sober today & tomorrow.

Thank you all here at MWO. I keep saying it, because it's true. I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOU. I had no success on my own. Now, I really feel like I'm knocking the heck out of my alcoholism.

Mary

[Loppy lugs]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Well I had just writen a long post about being a churchmouse to start this thread when I lost it. Just as well as I would have cross posted with Mary. That would have been confusing.

Good morning all, another beautiful morning, another month ended. What is happening to this year?

Hiding myself away licking my wounds means that I have missed a lot of people's news.

4theboyz, Saw the post about your niece last night. My thoughts are with you. I hope the new test are more informative and positive and that all the family are coping well. Your niece sounds amazing. Really brings home what really matters and what is just trivia.

Janice, How's Mum?

Pamina, Staying in London?

DG, How did Ferguson do?

Re the questions about Magic Knickers, think Bridget Jones without Hugh Grant to remove them. Also known as M&S specials or passion killers. Needed them for my dress since in June I only lost 6 of the 12 pounds I put on in May when I first went AF. Still looked like a frumpy old hag but was an AF old hag, so HOORAH!!!!

Reading some old post yesterday I came across one where Evielou said about writing letters to herself about her drinking. I plan to make time this week to do the same. I need to adjust my expectations. I expected not drinking to be really hard. (which it was initially) but then life to be perefct afterwards. I thought I would still have my usual life just without the alcohol. How wrong I have been.

Anyway off to work, hope everyone has a brilliant week and that the sun keeps shining. That said it sounds like it has been too hot for some of you in the States. Wishing you all the best.

[Pamina]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Good morning ablanders!

That's what I love about swimming along here with people at all stages of the recovery process. Maybe for some people drinking is just a habit and their lives settle right into place once it's gone. But for many of us, recovery comes on many levels. It's not just about sitting on your hands and not picking up a drink. It's only when the boozefog has lifted and then the cloud nine of initial enthusiasm for your new-found sobriety that you can start to look at the feelings and behaviours that underlay your drinking in the first place.

Mary - I'm so impressed by how you're dissecting your life, bit by bit, day after day, on these boards. Good on you for changing the way you react and relate. My mum was not an alcoholic but she was controlling in other ways and didn't learn to let go until late in her life. When she did, though, it made such a big difference.

Loppy - Congrats on your 60 days!! Wouldn't it be nice if magic knickers could save us from our anxieties. M&S would never have to worry about their bottom line again. I've been drinking in response to stress, so I guess I did not expect life to suddenly be perfect once I quit. I knew the stress would still be there and that I'd have to learn to deal with it in other ways or I'd just head right back to the bottle. But apart from that initial difference in expectations, I can identify with your ongoing struggle against anxiety. For me too, sobriety is about so much more than 'not drinking'. I think writing is a good tool. I've got a sporadic journal going about issues I've avoided by drinking. And another about the potential relocation which wouldn't happen til October anyway. Just chipping away, like Mary above, chipping away, little by little.

Have a good day all!

[charlee]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Morning all
End of yet another month.....where does it go??
Mary, you are sound well (gotta work on that insominia thing!)...I too know I cannot do it all, and don't try to anymore. It amazes me how that "to do" list still gets accomplished without all the stressors, by letting others pitch in..
Not thinking about the distant future regarding AL is working for me. I know many have a plan going in, but I will always take it ODAT, never say never and make no promise for tomorrow..just today.
Got a busy work week, but am looking forward to the long weekend..time to drag out the suitcases and plan for summer vacation.
Hope everyone has a great day!!!

[greeneyes]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Good morning everybody! I am 2 weeks AF today. Love sober, but having a tough time with the physical detox. Nobody seems to talk about that very much. I hope isn't just me.

Hubby leaves today for "our" fishing vacation. I chose not to go so I can finish obligations in the hole (my office if you recall). What a mess AL and I made of it! Maybe I'll go up for a few days next week if I get caught up. Driving through the Smokey Mountain National Park in a convertable sports car is quite fun.

The scene in Bridget Jones had me ROFLMAO!

MAry, waring myself out is a trigger for me too. I see my triggers much more clearly being sober. I think "ah-ha!" instead of slugging a drink.

Have a great sober day!

[retteacher]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Thanks for the comments everyone. Isn't it amazing how all of us can relate to each other. I think that's the magic of MWO & how it works. I so identify w/the comment about how once the pink cloud of very early sobriety lifts, the real work begins. We then have to work on our fears, control issues, relationships, etc. All those triggers that pushed us into drinking are still hanging around. I, for one, want to get a handle on them & actually solve them (a novel idea, right?).

Have a wonderful day all. Mary

PS: The only physical withrawal that I can think of for me is an increased desire to eat...especially sweets & carbs.

[Doggygirl]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Hello abberoos! It's a great AF day here. The weather is dreamy - it was only 65 degrees this AM and the high is only supposed to be 79 which is not bad for this time of year!! The window are open and the flowers are bloomin' on the roof top porch. And Mr. Doggy & Fergie passed their trial yesterday!!! And they did REALLY great too - passed with flying colors rather than "just barely." I was SO proud of them. I think I was more nervous than Mr. Doggy before and during their event. Next Mr. Doggy would like to get his Schutzhund I title which means they will have to pass tracking, obedience and protection all in one trial (usually one day at the club trial level - two days at the most). They have LOTS to work on before they will be ready for that. Maybe by fall - definitely by spring 2009.

Mary, you sound really good with all of your self discovery and improved relationships. Your "AF for today and tomorrow" approach is obviously working well for you!

Greenie, you sound terrific despite your concerns about detox and physical stuff going on - compared to pre-Lenair. (I hope it's OK that I state that opinion!) I gave some comments from my own experience re: the physical stuff in your other thread, so won't repeat here. Congrats on your two AF weeks!!

Charlee, where are you going on vacation? ITA with the "where does the time go" sentiment. I can't believe today is the last day of June, and 2008 is officially half way over.
(yuk...gotta catch up on my accounting work!!)

Pamina, I too think journaling is a good idea, and I need to do more of that!! Well, I guess we all have our posts here we can go back to if we're not keeping a separate journal! Where might you move to in October?

Loppy I'm glad you are having some nice weather! That always lifts my spirits. Although I will admit loving an occassional rainy day IF it is on a Sunday where I don't have any obligations, and IF I have some good movies to curl up and watch. Now Loppy, I hope you will look at the bright side of your weight dilemma. (I can say that, as a person who has 40+ more pounds to lose!) Celebrate the 6 you've lost!!! And then just keep workin' at the other 6. The cup is half full.

Hello to all absters yet to come! Have a great end of June / start of July everyone!

DG
40 Days AFHF

[Cinders]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Hello, Abbers.

Have a call into Lenair. Waiting impatiently for a return call.

Nervous and excited.

Mary, you sound absolutely wonderful.

Everyone else, please have a wonderful AF day. Let's look those triggers in the face and grin.

Love,
Cindi

[Theme2be]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Encouragement greets my determination as your words assist.

I am realizing that the fierce isolation that keeps me is not just the trigger, but the bullet as well. Sobriety is my weapon against the beast. I have to turn on Al , using each word you speak here at MWO as amunition to build up my arsenal against that arse Al (learning all sorts of new words here as this is a new world for me that I thank the heavens for)
Plan to begin anew July 1st as I will walk these halls of wisdom and life frequently.

Coming here is where I feel more aware and apart of something of greatness.

Taking in my daily dose of reasoning from your expertise.

I imagine the feeling of being free from this irritating substance and feeling my life, again.

Praising your hearts.

Karen

[Determinator]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Top of the Monday ABadabadoooos!

whew! big day already but all is well in my garlic fantasy land

Greeneyes, what physical withdrawal are you encountering now? I've posted quite a lot on the subject but it's been a while. Believe me I've been through absolute hell in that department. eeeeek!

Pamina...these words of yours really ring true: recovery comes on many levels. It's not just about sitting on your hands and not picking up a drink

Mary, letting others help is a big step psychologically for many of us. I still have a hard time letting people help in the kitchen as that's been my security blanket for so many years.

Theme2, you have a very poetic writing style..reminds me of translated Chinese teachings I've read.

aresnal against al....love it! shoot to kill and reload often! (ok I just watched the new Angelina Jolie movie "wanted" and I'm all fired up) hahahaha!!

be well friends

[retteacher]

June 30th - Mon. - Daily Thread

Friends: Busy day tomorrow getting ready for trip. Mary