BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

[Pamina]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi guys,

I did it!! I got through it!!

My friend's funeral today ended up being a long, long story. Beautiful church service, but the first open casket funeral I've ever been to. At first I thought I couldn't handle filing past, but then I thought I'll never understand she's gone unless I do. So I did. It was odd but not unbearable. Then we all drove off to the cemetery for the interment which also went on forever as they kept shoveling until the grave was full. And then there was a sit down lunch which her relatives wanted to be thought of as a celebration of her recent birthday. I passed up on the wine and the bubbly. A glass would have been nice, but it just wasn't the point. The point was to talk about her with friends and family. I sat with a large group of her female friends, and that's exactly what we did. She was an extrovert who enjoyed bringing people together, and introducing us to each other is a legacy she's left us.

I'm feeling quite drained but relieved as well. Hopefully life will start to normalise again.

I'll have to get caught up with the thread but wanted to chime in on the 'to be or not to be' question. There will never be a perfect time to start 30 days. You'll always want to celebrate or relax or mourn. All of which you can do, and more fully, AF. Just go for it!

And DG - congrats on your 61 days!! The spell has been broken.

[july232007]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Something about July!

Hey there is something about July that just gets people in the AF mode. Look at all the people who are signing on to DG's lead and getting in for 30 days AF, right now.

Who else is ready to jump on board?

A great time of year to get motivated (and I am more than a little biased).

July,

Day 361 AF

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Good Day Booze Busters!! I'm with July that July is a great time to go AF!! Oh...and of course as you can see by July's screen name we're gonna have one heck of a party here tomorrow!

Welcome Bandit and congratulations on what should now be Day 4 AF! What Marshy and the others said about there never being a 30 day stress free, event free stretch to "plan" your 30 days AF. I'm guessing that there are reasons RJ recommends at least 30 days AF even for people who want to mod. And I'm guessing that one of those reasons IS that within any 30 day stretch one has to see how weekends and other "life events" go without alcohol. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Lila******!!!! How are the clothes hangin' after almost a week AF??

Greenie congrats on 5 weeks. And I'm glad to hear that you are doing something on the husband front.

Marshy, thanks for the link to the stress management site. Let us know how the apppointment goes with the counselor too. I bet that will be interesting!

CXD, I'm an ex-smoker too and I feel your pain with quitting that!! I'll tell you what though - If I could quit smoking ANYONE can do it - I swore I would never ever quit. It feels good to be finally free of that one and also getting free of AL now.

Welcome Mary to the Booze Busters! Glad you are joining us for 30 Days or whoever knows how long.

I believe, congrats on your 16 (now 17?) days!!! I will mention some thoughts on strategies down post..

Welcome Bookish. I noted your comment about "treadmill" as it relates to drinking. Boy ain't that the truth!! STOP THE MADNESS!! There is no way I could accomplish what I am now in a day back when my head was in the bottle everyday. And it was impossible to achieve any sort of health goals - working out, getting my weight to an appropriate level, etc. while drinking. Glad you are with us! Oh - and I love your avatar!

sothankful - DON'T STOP TRYING. I'm glad you ordered the kudzu as that will probably help. Actually, I think all the recommended supplements together really help as well as the hypno CD's. I haven't been doing the full hypno program lately, but I always put the Sleep Learning CD in, and most days turn on the subliminal CD in my office. Give yourself every advantage you can. And most of all, don't run away. I've done that plenty of times and it doesn't help!! At all!!

Pamina, I'm glad you made it through your friend's funeral. It sounds like her family really wanted the day to be about honoring and remembering her in a positive way. I'm glad shared in that experience - it sounds like it was as good as such a tragedy can be. And your words about AF are very wise.

Strategies and triggers....Sometimes I think we can swing between making things overly complicated, and maybe making things too simplistic. Maybe I'm being too simplistic today, but here is my biggest trigger:

Alcohol.

It didn't start out that way years ago. As a teenager I suppose it was about fitting in with friends and being 'cool.' Then I suppose it was about "loosening up" to socialize, dance, etc. Then at some point it was the socially acceptable thing in the work crowd. I'm sure relieving stress came into play at some point. But for the last 10 years or more, my drinking has been about feeding my addiction, period. Any excuse will do - happy? Let's have a drink! Sad? Let's have a drink! Weekend? Let's have a drink! Hump Day? Let's have a drink! You get the picture. So anything can be and was a trigger for me in the end.

The biggest strategy I employ is to make my sobriety #1. NOTHING in my life is more important than that right now. Of course there are some things that I have to deal with (Dad's illness and the things that come with that. Dog training at my house every Saturday. Keeping our business going.). There are other things that frankly, I can walk away from for now. (anything going on in a bar and most things going on in restaurants. Most parties. etc.) The events I DO choose to go to where drinking will be around...here are some strategies.

1. Eat plenty of food - I always felt more like drinking, and ended up drinking more when my stomach was empty.
2. Take my own beverages where appropriate (any event that is NOT in a restaurant / bar or other venue where you cannot bring your own). If I have to purchase beverages, decide in advance what I will have.
3. Limit the amount of time I plan to spend there. While I might have the occassional social event that I feel obligated to attend, I DO NOT have to be the first one in and the last one out. Having a pre-determined time limit really helps.

At home, I have written down lists of things to do instead of drink. I will never run out of things to do if I live to be 150. At first those lists tended to be "chore" lists. While that's OK and I AM getting more of that stuff done these days, it's important to give yourself a fun list too. I got a library card and have started reading again. We subscribed to Netflix and have been watching movies and Desparate Housewives. Then there is the rooftop bee haven and garden in pots.

EXERCISE!!!!!! This has been a HUGE AL deterrent this time around, and I believe making a very big difference. There is NO WAY I would or could work out like I am, and reap the benefits like I am, if I were still drinking. I tried it before when drinking, and it didn't happen. I really encourage everyone to find some physical activity you enjoy and start doing it regularly. There is a reason RJ recommends exercise as part of the MWO program. (DUH. Glad it took me slightly less than a year to figure that one out!)

Anyway... My biggest trigger? I'm an addict and my brain wants a fix. Any reason will do. My biggest strategy? Don't drink. Don't fantasize about drinking. Moderation is not a possibility for me, so don't be fantasizing about that either.

Day 62 AFHF and I am going for 90.

DG
:award: + :award: + **

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Thank you DG!!!!
And thanks Marshy! I looked up the stress site. They recommend computer games, so I played some solitaire for awhile.
Bookish - isn't it hard to always do the mom stuff? I love it, but...sometimes my kids, esp my youngest keeps saying MOM. I don't feel strong, or ready either. I am 'borrowing' other people's strength from this site. In a way that's probably good for me, because I am a loner, so to be supported by people is a good lesson for me, I think.
SoTHankful - Kudzu is very helpful. It takes away cravings, and makes drinks not taste that good. I am going to make sure I always have some. I decided. I ordered 2 bottles, and I am going to just have it. I deserve that.
WOw - July - almost a year!! Is it easier? FOr me, it is my way of relieving stress, and getting rid of the fear of all the changes and stresses in my life. Have you found new ways of dealing with life?
DG - thanks for your encouragement!!!! I love Netflix!! (Except when they send a scratchy or broken DVD, but so much better than my local movie rental place that always hit me with late fees!)
Hey all - when me and my kids move - we are in the city - but we have a crazy idea of having chickens in the backyard. I think I need permission from the city. Does anyone do that?
Lila ******

[vlad]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Lila;367626 wrote: Kudzu is very helpful. It takes away cravings, and makes drinks not taste that good.

Just found this comment interesting - Kudzu works like this for me as well. Coffee tastes very bitter, fizzy drinks taste incredibly sweet and AL tastes bland and unexciting... Most of all, it takes the craving away, if I have a thought about AL (which usually results in me craving) I get a numb feeling in response! It's quite odd.

[Pamina]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

A few thoughts on the triggers and strategies issue.

DG has listed some good, sensible, tangible things to try out. I agree with all of it, though still working on the exercise plan, personally...

I've sometimes thought of this life style change in terms of short term, 'emergency' measures and longer term behavioural modification. The former would include things like always having a stash of AF drinks on the ready in case an urge turns up out of nowhere; avoiding/limiting social drinking situations until you're ready; planning lists of diversions like bath/walk/movies for witching hours etc.

The long term, for me, is related to stress management because my drinking was primarily in response to stress. That's still work in progress, but my friend's funeral yesterday made me realise I have actually made progress. The main issue was I felt I needed support and so wrote to her other friends in advance, chatted with them yesterday, made plans to meet up again, and talked to her auntie about some confidential stuff she'd shared with me which felt like unfinished business. With that overall plan in place, addressing my biggest need, I was able to handle the individual triggers. When we sat down for lunch, some of the other women lunged for a bottle of wine right away. We were sad and drained from all the emotional stuff at the church and cemetery, and yes, a glass would have taken the edge off. I turned to a pregnant woman and had a conversation about her drinking strategies; in 3 minutes my wistfulness about the wine was gone. Then next came the champagne to toast my friend. Again, I had a fleeting thought about not celebrating her properly without it but then topped up my pineapple juice with sparkling water and decided the content in the glass was not the crucial bit. After it was all over - 7 hours in total!! - I thought "what a day - don't I 'deserve' a drink?" Luckily I had choir practice. I did join them at the pub afterwards but instead of drinking, I talked about my day. I noticed the topic was a bit much for some people, but I just didn't care. Selective selfishness. There are days when life is about much more than small talk. End result - I didn't drink yesterday!

I find the more time and distance I put between myself and drink, the more I replace the pick-up-a-drink reflex with other behaviours, the easier it gets. We CAN all do it - one foot in front of the other and then repeat.

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

HI Pamina,
Yes - addressing the emotional needs head on, so drinking is less important...ooh, have to run...thanks for your post!!
Lila

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi again!

Pamina, thanks for sharing your detailed post about the ways you got through the day yesterday without succumbing to AL. I can't even imagine what a rough day that was for you emotionally, and you are just PROOF POSITIVE that there is life after AL - we can deal with all of life's ups and downs without it. And I totally agree that there are times for some very legitimate Selective Selfishness. (I'm snitching THAT one!)

Lila - this winter we will definitly have to start a Netflix Pix thread! Do you ever watch stuff on the "play now" feature? Our UK friends will recognize the show Keeping Up Appearances although it's rather old. It's one of my favorites!! I thought I had seen every episode there was on the broadcasts in the US, but I found a couple I hadn't seen the other day and could use the Play Now feature!! I can't wait to watch Hyacinth's Memoirs which I haven't seen yet.

Chickens in your yard in the city...fresh eggs sound good to me!! I had an acqaintance who did that in Denver. Don't know if she went for permission or forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness is easier.

Hi vlad!!

Well, enough goofing around here. Gotta get showered up and get down to see Dad in this horrid place they call a re-hab center. I told Mr. Doggy if I ever end up in a place like that to just bring a gun and shoot me. Less than 24 hours there and he was lying in his own poop. (he is not incontinent) The "Business Office" got an earful about that. And a "mention" that family would be visiting EVERY day and we would certainly "let them know if this problem continues since I'm very sure they do not find that acceptable and management would want to know." Anyway...sorry for the vent. This situation does not make me want to drink. It makes me want to knock the block off the person who is in charge of bed pans. (I know that can't be a pleasant job - but really. If it's your job then please do it.)

DG

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

OK, I love that post. And I love dogs. I just found this outfit. Ordered some Topa from some foreign pharmacy (not the Canadian one) and hoping it's not some fraud or rip-off; they don't promise delivery till August 12 or something.

But I have to stop drinking. Moderation just does not work for me. It's causing a lot of misery, both for me and for my live-in ex-partner, who does not drink. Sometimes I just wish she'd move out... not sure if I would drink more, or drink less, if she moved on out... Probably, more. Way too many stressors in my life right now, and I have just caved in to the quick fix, on a nightly basis, and last night fell asleep out in the front yard. Craziness. Embarrassment, Shame. Etc. ....

So OK this is Day One.

Thanks.

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi Jez! Soon to be ex drinkers and dog lovers all welcome here. Congratulations on Day 1 alcohol free. Yes, it's easy to fall into the fantasy (at least it's a big fat fantasy for many of us..) of moderation, and also the fantasy of blaming other people or circumstances for our excess drinking. Been there done that got T-shirt.

Although I've never actually taken it, I ordered some Topa from River Pharmacy way back when. I actually got the delivery sooner than they estimated (I think they have to allow extra time in case things get tied up in customs). Can't speak to the quality of the product since it's still sitting in my freezer. But the service was good. So if your order was with River Pharmacy hopefully you will have a good experience.

I'm also a BIG believer in the supplements!! We have done a lot of damage internally and have a lot of healing to do. You might want to consider that as well.

At any rate.....this road ain't easy but it sure is worth it. Glad you are on board. Read lots and post often!!

DG

[Bookish]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Finally, a free moment. I had a dental cleaning this morning and it was very nice to get up and not worry, ?does my breath smell?. Had a good checkup, but the dentist wants me to have an old silver crown and filling removed. Ouch in the pocket book!

Doggy, thank you for your great post. Lots of good ideas. I have the witching hour problem at 5:00 and I?m now thinking about what I already have cooked to use for dinner to get through that time. I will precook something tonight for tomorrow evening. .

Lila, I used to use the Kudzu all the time and it must have worked because when I stopped using it, my AL consumption went way up. I plan to take it before heading home. About the chickens, it all about the zoning laws. I live next to a large city, but it feels very rural. And I know some neighborhoods can have chickens, but not pigs and stuff like that.

Pamina, great job with a very stressful situations. I am sorry about your friend. I worry a lot about social situations right now and I?m trying not to think about it.

Jaz, I?m working on day #2. Day #1 is usually not too hard for me because I usually feel like poop. Now, day #2 can be a bit of a challenge, but I can see joining this group has already lifted my spirits.

Yours,
Bookish (currently reading a book by Kelley Armstrong)

[sothankful]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi All, Hi Jez and welcome. Dg is right just keep reading post and share your own thoughts. this is a safe place to do that.

DG, OMG I feel so bad about your dad and what you found. I think they would have to pull me off somebody !!! I hope things get a lot better for your Dad.
I been thinking about sheep I hope she is doing OK?

I hope I get My kudzu soon. I been reading a lot of post about kudzu I feel hopeful.

Oh, I forgot I wanted to tell DG that I am so happy that you wrote out all that you do to stay sober.
What a great list I think I will print it out. As for the fantasizing about drinking. IT is like the secret Say's if you think about something long enough and keep in your mind all the time you will end up doing it.

God Bless everyone. Day 2

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Next time I order Kudzu, I am going to ask for No-Label stuff. It says on the label how good it is for alcohol addiction, blah, blah.
I like the MWO brand, but I just wanted to warn people!
Oh, SO Thankful - did you see Chasers The Secret in the Laughing OUt Loud section? (I do own a copy of The Secret, and Creative Visualization, and anything those publishers put out about attraction!)
Lila

[sothankful]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Lila, you ordered the kudzu from this mwo ?? I Don't want label to be exposed like that? I guess just the mailman would see that?? I was wondering how long did it take to get your kudzu?? I was hoping I would get it before the weekend. I heard it good for headaches too. Oh, Yes I have the movie the secret it has really opened my eyes about myself. Wow

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi all - just poppin' in quick before I run off to make dinner. Since we have lots of new people visiting the Monthly Abs section and Booze Busters (:cheering I bumped up some older threads about Booze Beast Lies and "What I love about my AF life" and "What I hate about drinking" so everyone can read and post.

LOL - I can't find Lie #6!!! I don't think we had a #6??? So it's somebody's job to come up with Booze Beast Lie #6 because I KNOW we didn't get them all the first time around!

Have a great evening everyone - kick some :alf: :bum:

DG