BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

[DogLvr]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi there - just catching back up on some posts as I, like some others tend to stay away from this site when I have fallen off the wagon.

DG: Your post: "Alcohol. It didn't start out that way years ago. As a teenager ...."
This is me - and I thank you for putting it in words.

Day 5 for me - and planning to get through the next 25 days fully AF!

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi all -
Welcome back DogLover!
DG - yes, thanks for your encouragement. I have set up my CD player, and my earphones that my daughter took from me, will not let the kids even touch my CD player- I need it by my bed for the hypno tapes - getting all set - ready for the extra 10 pounds I have to fall right off!
My daughter and I went biking yesterday. That was lovely.
New beginnings for me!!!!!
Happy positive thoughts to everyone!
Love,
Lila

[DogLvr]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

So Thankful:- if your Kudzu doesn't come - just run to the grocery store or GNC store - the L-Glutamine 500Mg supplements have really worked a number on my cravings and you can get Kudzu in a whole foods - although it may be a different brand.

[Sheepish]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Good Morning BB fellows
I have really started to come to count on stopping here each morning. And yes DogLvr- true words that it is tough to post when the day before was not an AF one. Easier to stay away and just read. Doggy- I am so waiting for the click. I drank last night. 3 beers. At 9PM. Which is quite odd for me as I don't usually 'begin' to drink that late in the evening. (Usually if I don;t have a drink before 8PM I find I am out of the woods) I have really been trying hard to look at why I am drinking. And while there is always 'a reason' the main one is that I am truly lonely. I have realized that until recently (and only in this forum anonymously) I have never said that. I am a single (never married), early 40's woman. From the outside- it might seem like I have it all, big job, nice house, great friends, family, travel etc. But in the end- it just comes down to me, alone. I know that I have designed it that way as I believe that we are responsible for ourselves and what happens to us- I just don't know how to reverse it now. Please know that I am not saying this looking for people to feel sorry for me- as my life is really not bad. But the lonliness is slowly torturing me. I don't know what to do. And that is a large part of why I drink. I want to do something about it. So- now that I have written it and put it out there, I wonder what will happen. I am scared.
Thank you for listening
-Sheep

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Drinking at the loneliness

Good, brave post, Sheep!

Loneliness is a hard one. I go there sometimes, as well (I am single, but living in a house with my ex-partner... not ideal at all, but circumstances say that it will probably be like this a while longer).

For me (maybe not for you) drinking at the loneliness has a chunk of anger in it (hard to recognize that sometimes, but for me, it's there). I imagine that others are happier than I am, and I get pissed off because it's not fair (and I hate to admit that because it seems so childish)... then the totally irrational part of my alcohol-loving brain speaks up and it seems that the solution somehow is: LET'S HAVE A DRINK!

It's great that you are talking about it here.

Best,

WIP

[Marshy]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi all,

I had my first meeting with an alcohol counsellor today. I was nervous beforehand but it turned out to be a very positive experience. It was an initial assessment where she took details of my drinking history and we discussed what issues I feel I need to work on. The upshot is that I'm going to have one-to-one counselling for six months. I'm also going to have a more 'practical' session with someone to discuss daily life without drinking - identifying and dealing with triggers, social situations etc.

I do find the idea of counselling and dealing with issues I find uncomfortable quite scary but I think it might help in the long run.

BTW, I happened to mention to the counsellor that I was going for a swim after the session and she said that exercise can be a huge help in giving up drink/drugs and it's something that she recommends to all her clients, so I'm definitely going to put more effort into that.

Sheepish - I'm single at the moment too and would love to be in a happy, healthy relationship but, for me, I know I need to get sober and work on myself before I can do that. And, you know, just being in a relationship isn't necessarily a good thing - plenty of people are lonely and unhappy even though they have a partner. As WIP said, I think we often imagine other people have what we want or are happier than us but it ain't necessarily so.

Have a great weekend all. Hottest day of the year here so far! :toohot:

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Me too, Sheepish.
I am a single mom, so I always glad when I get to be alone - and then I think - well, here I am. Nothing to do. But I don't want anyone yet. That would be another person to deal with, and my life is too messy right now.
Today I went biking to pick up my mood a bit. Keep posting on how you are dealing with stuff - it is kinda close to home.
Love,
Lila

[Sheepish]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Thanks WIP, Marshy and Lila fore your input and kind words. I am AF today/tonight- lonely or not. My life is actually weirdly together... just missing the huge puzzle piece of someone to share it with.... but I dont even know what that would look like...
Anyway- I wanted to let you know I am out of town til Monday with no access to computer. Everyone have a healthy weekend.
-Sheep

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Good Day Booze Busters!!!! Boy - a lot of thought provoking posts since yesterday morning. Lonliness is a really tough one. And that's one of the easiest feelings there is to bury in a bottle. You can try to bury it at home, or you can try to bury it sitting in a bar. Or anywhere AL is. Doesn't work though. For the last 10 years I've been with Mr. Doggy so drinking at home alone (whether he was here or not) was the modus operandi. Prior to that, I was single through my 30's and I'm embarrassed to think about the number of bars I sat in just drinking away with strangers hoping for.....what???? I think for all of us there are lonely spots on some level that will be challenging to figure out and deal with. For me, that "empty" spot has something to do with fulfillment and purpose in life. (maybe no kids contributes to that??)

Sheep - I can relate to having a great career, home etc. - all the stuff that seems enviable on the outside, but feeling that deep hole on the inside. I hope for you and for all of us here that along this up and down journey, we will find the keys to filling that empty hole with something that makes us happy. I hope you have a good weekend away doing something fun! We will miss you.

Lila - I can't even imagine being a Mom much less a single Mom. I'm sure you treasure whatever bit of "you" time you can get!! You haven with your own CD player and ear phones sounds perfect. LOL - I had a hard time initially with the voice on the CD's until I realized that to me, he sounds like Will Forte on Saturday Night Live when Will does some of the "monotone" type characters. Once I started calling that voice on the CD "Will" he became more endeared to me somehow. HEY - if you find a way for that 10 pounds to just fall right off will you pretty please share your secret???

WIP - ITA with that "not fair" feeling sometimes when viewing the lives of others. And ITA that the lives of others are probably not as great as they look sometimes. ACKK living with an ex does not sound like much fun.

Marshy, it sounds like your conselor meeting was great! I hope you will post about all the good strategies you learn about. Interesting to know that your counselor also advocates exercise. The "practical" sessions sound interesting.

I did not end up going to see Dad yesterday as things got really busy here at the home office, and he sounded really tired after his physical therapy. He said he'd rather I come today, so today it shall be. The dog training crew will have to keep themselves organized without me! Actually lots of people are away on vacation or this or that, so it's a small group anyway. And a couple of women will be here so they can keep the guys in line! (sorry guys!) So it's off to Curves I go, then get the paperwork ready for the dog trainers, then off to see Dad. He looked so frail when I was there on Tuesday. I keep hoping that he can get strong enough to go home.

Have a good Saturday everyone and tell AL to get lost. :b&d:

DG
:award: + :award: + ******
Day 66 AFHF

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hi everyone
Thanks for starting off the day, DG. Your dad sounds so lucky to have you! I hope things go well.
Yesterday, I went biking instead of drinking. I am not in good shape. I am going to bike some more today. I have really let myself go. I look good, but I would like to get all toned up. I kinda don't believe that exercise/depression goes away thing - but I am willing to suspend that belief for awhile and try.
I have a lot of concerns right now in my life, and anything that gets me away from it is good.
Take care everyone!
Lila *

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Hey, DG, gotta ask: what is ITA? and also: how the heck do you get those smilies to do that stuff at the bottom of your post?

I hear from your post that you are dealing with an elderly parent... me too... it's amazingly all-consuming. This weekend I am getting her house ready for her to go home from the nursing home. She's just been diagnosed with Alzheimers, and is also (and was, before the dementia) very difficult, paranoid, controlling, critical... She'll have 24-hour live-in caregivers, and she will be an absolute BEAR to take care of. But I have a care manager person who will be the first line of defense.

I hope things get to a place, with your dad, where he can go home. It is all so heartbreaking, with the old parents. My mother has been pretty awful (including drinking) all her life, but she's MY mother, and I love her.

Hey Lila, good for you, with the exercise. It really DOES have a significant effect on brain functioning, i.e. mood (depression). Not just hype, really well-designed studies have shown that it is AT LEAST comparable to antidepressant meds... both of them promote changes in the brain in a similar fashion. Strange, but true! And with exercise, you don't have to pay for the meds or deal with the coming-off of the meds (I always got brain zaps when I went off antidepressants, almost like little seizures. Ick.).

Off to my mother's house. Dealing with mouse droppings and piles of papers and dust and old books and clothes and lots of furniture (some broken) and throw pillows, and several guns, one of which I haven't been able to find, yet (the old .38 handgun). Getting the place in shape to have a full-time caregiver rotation will be a challenge... but worth it. Very glad to be getting her out of the nursing home.

This will be day 5 AF. Feels good.

best wishes, all

wip

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

HEY LILA!!! ENDORPHINS ROCK!!!!! I'm glad you are willing to suspend your thoughts about exercise and give it a chance. I spent most of my adult life as the anti-exercise person. Sometimes I would engage in a hobby I liked that also happened to involve physical activity, and that was always a good thing. But intentional exercise???? That was ick. I don't think I ever lasted more than a couple of weeks on my meager gym attempts and things like that. I even have a dreadmill oops I mean treadmill and Bowflex at home and that has been WAY more off than on over the years. At the recommendation of multiple friends, I tried Curves and I love it. So if you love biking that's GREAT (and I think you mentioned you have gone with your daughter which I'm sure is fun). But don't be afraid to try different things and different places until you find something you really enjoy. Did I mention that ENDORPHINS ROCK????

WIP ITA = I Totally Agree. Smilies doing things at the bottom of my post??? Are my smilies mis-behavin' again????? (under User CP, edit your "Signature Line." There is a size limit but other than that, you can add whatever text features and smilies you want to.)

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. It sounds like it will be good that she has full time care givers so you can be the daughter and not try to be the caregiver. Do you live in the same town with your Mom? How often do you see her? My Mom and Dad are both still living - Mom appears to be healthy as an Ox thank goodness. She's been a trooper through Dad's problems related to Diabetes over the years. It's been one step forward, two steps back for a long time now. This nursing home / "re-hab facility" is just horrid. Bless you for spending the weekend dealing with your Mom's stuff. I'm dreading helping with that task someday in their house. Two great depression era people - they save everything. I think there are lots of folks who are elderly now, who grew up in those times, who have that problem.

Anyway...had a great workout to finish off the week and I'm getting ready to head out. Have a great day everyone!

DG

[Ibelieve]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

A great day

good morning all BBs

i kow today will be a great day for all of us.

Sheepish- thank you so much for sharing. while no one else can feel what you feel - may it help to know that others are caring and thinking about you today. For me AL is a vicious circle for lonliness - i drink becasue i am lonely and then i lose mysefl and can't have true relationships. i have also found that i sometimes just thought everyone was happier, had more friends etc. Maybe they are just busier! the most important true relationship i am working on is with myself. The grass is always greener on the other side until you find out that it is crab grass.!!!
please do notthink i am making light of your concerns - i am just giving some of my perspectives. i read a book called Drinking a Love Affair a few years ago. it was a short book, an easy read and i reccomend it highly. funny - i threw my copy out when i thought i was under control and able to moderate. it was a stupid, incorrect gesture.

i am approaching day 30 --- 21 for me today. how do pepole decide to go for another 30 or try moderating. the idea i can do it - ie moderate - keeps popping in my mind. i'm not sure if it is the addiction talking or the thought that i don't like the idea that anything has "control" of me --- so i'll show it (ie the addiction!) and have one drink and stop.

all my best for a wonderful day my BB friends

diane

[Lila]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

thanks you all - biking is my new beer! I biked twice today!!! My legs are all weak and achy - that will change fast!!!
Keep going - I Believe. Twenty one days I think is a milestone - keep going!!! For awhile before you mood. I would think.
I need some advice:
My kids and I are looking for a house - there is one we like, but in the info my realtor gave me, it has sold 5 times in 11 years. Each time it has made a profit, but isn't that strange? How can I find out what is wrong with it - if anything? What do you all think? It is a small house, 1600 square feet, so maybe it is a lot of people's idea of a 'starter house', but still...the current owner has had it 4 years, the others only about 2 years. I am single, so I don't have a husband to consult with.
Lila

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS - Week of 7/21 - (A)bsolutely (F)abulous Hangover Free 30 Day Challenge

Good Day Booze Busters!!

Diane, congratulations on your 21 Days. Thanks also for the book recommendation. I'm going to put that one on my library list.

Only you can decide if moderation is possible and a good choice for you. I knew in my heart when I first stopped drinking a bit over a year ago that moderation was not going to be possible for me...but I had to try it anyway. It seems lots of us end up having to experiment with moderation in order to figure it out for sure if we can handle it or not. I wish I had just gone with what I KNEW in my heart to be true. For me, moderation really wasn't possible but what very little moderation actually happened was a FIGHT. I really want to reach a point where I don't have to think about alcohol all the time - whether that's when drinking a little or a lot, or not drinking. If that makes any sense.

I finally tried to view things through the eyes of a truly non-addicted (to alcohol) person - Mr. Doggy. He never thinks about alcohol unless somebody else gets out the beer. If he does have a beer or two - that is IT. And he doesn't always have a beer just because other people are having one. I have NEVER seen him have more than two beers in a day -ever. He just doesn't think about it. On those rare occassions where I have actually limited myself to one or two drinks, drinks were ALL I was thinking about. How to stop myself from having more. I just decided I do NOT want a life of "moderation," assuming I COULD ever limit myself to one or two, and do it consistently, if NOT having more drinks is all I'm going to think about.

I'm actually finding AF beer to be a great compromise on Saturday dog training days. I can sit around and shoot the breeze with my AF beer in hand, and NOT think about real booze drinks at all. That's progress!!! Hopefully that will be true someday with lemonade in my hand. It's getting better all the time though.

Geez - sorry for another novella. Diana, whatever you decide to do, keep on with the journey to control this monster.

Lila I LOVE it!! "Biking is my new beer!" WHEE!!! On the house front...I think you are wise to have a ?? about why this house has changed hands so many times in 10 years. Is the realtor you are working with a different one than the one who has the listing on the house? (I recommend having a realtor that is working for you only - not you and the seller...) Make sure your realtor knows your concerns, and I would keep looking. There are SO many houses on the market right now that you can probably afford to pass on stuff for the slightest of reasons. Even 4 years is not much time when you own a house. 2 years is barely getting moved in. Multiple 2 year owers in a row?????? I would question that too. Best wishes in your search - you must be excited!!

I'm glad to be on Day 67 AFHF! I am SO much better able to handle all of life - the good & fun, and the not so fun when I'm sober. And as much as I used to like to think I was just happy and funny and the cats meow socially when drinking, I KNOW my moods are overall much more positive these days of NOT drinking. I still think about drinking and I'm looking forward to the time when that slows down substanstially - and I'm sure it will just like I don't think about smoking hardly ever any more. (although that nursing home makes me think of smoking, drinking, and dropping acid along with a few uppers and downers....). LOL yesterday was my 17 month no smoking anniversary and I completely forgot about it. (that's how I know that NOT counting my AF days will happen when I'm ready for it to happen!!) I would love to rush the process but I guess there is not really a way to do that.

Dad is now in full grizzly bear mode - but he's fighting hard - he wants out of that hell hole in a bad way. My Mom is a trooper for spending many hours a day with his grumpiness. BUT...yesterday I witnessed Dad get up out of his wheelchair and use his walker to get from point A to B all by himself. THAT is what will get him a trip home. So it was worth putting up with Grumptactular Dad for a couple of hours just to see that.

I'm looking forward to a nice relaxing day at home with Mr. Doggy just puttering. And we're going to make BBQ ribs later - YUM!! I set them to marinating last night. (normally on Saturday I would have been passed out long before getting THAT going...) I need to make more BBQ sauce this morning and also cole slaw. Low carb all of it.

Well, have a great day all!! AFHF is awesome.

DG
:award: + :award: + *******