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**4theboyz** · July 23, 2008, 08:36 AM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!

Thanks for starting our day Mary and your post is a shining example of what I like best about this thread in that there is always someone here who will serve up thoughtful posts to remind us as to where we have been and what we have endured at one time or another. There are days (like today) where I have completely lost sight of the uglier things that AL once controlled in my life and reminders like your post are truly helpful to reflect upon.

I hope everyone has a great AF day today!

**Cinders** · July 23, 2008, 08:46 AM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers,

I am hanging on by a thread right now.

I am avoiding work and pray I do not lose my job. I am really struggling.

However, I am determined to stay sober today, no matter what.

Love,
Cindi

**retteacher** · July 23, 2008, 09:26 AM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Cindi: Keep hanging onto that thread! I can't give you advice as to your work, but I know that (for me) discussing my problems w/a trusted loved one helped. It opened options for me that I didn't know were there. I was in teaching at the same school for a quarter of a century, & I can tell you there were days I wanted a good escape. Unfortunately, the bottle was often the means.

4tb: I too forget all the negatives of drinking at times. I just know from experience that after I've finished the bottle, I NEVER feel better...ALWAYS worse. For one thing, MWO has spoiled drinking for me. I've posted & read too many of the truths about drinking to be able to fool myself into thinking it will do any good for me.

Good luck, Mary

**Doggygirl** · July 23, 2008, 11:14 AM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Hello absters and thank you Mary for getting the group started with great food for thought.

Yesterday Mr. Doggy said something interesting. It started with "I hope I don't offend you...." so of course I shut my mouth and braced myself LOL!! There is a woman who was brought into a high management position at one of our biggest clients who has been real trouble for most of the employees there and also many of the vendors like us. Her idea of "change" just means change everything without regard to what's broken or not. (many heads have rolled for no apparent reason) Anyway, she's difficult to say the least.

What Mr. Doggy didn't want to offend me about yesterday, was his assessment that he thinks she has a drinking problem. Of course Mr. Doggy has had 10 years to observe the behaviors of a problem drinker up close and personal. He said she smells like booze in the morning and doesn't function real well in the AM. (hangover??) She goes through mood swings during the day - sometimes in a better mood after lunch. (what's for lunch????) Goes grumpy again, but then mood starts getting better in the late afternoon (almost drinking time!!) and she's out of there like a rocket at 5PM. It was quite telling having ALL of these signs presented right there in my face even though he was not talking about me.

I AM SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO SPEND MY TIME HIDING THE ABOVE SYMPTOMS ANY MORE!!!!! That's what I am going to try not to forget today!! And yep 4tbz - I totally understand how our addicted brains push aside those ugly memories in favor of trying to get a fix today.

Cindi - PLEASE hang in there. I'm sure I've missed posts in other sections (haven't had much time for reading outside of the monthly abs area). Are you still not traveling? Is that causing a problem? Whatever the cause, I will be thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. You are going to Lenair soon, right? Hang on!!!

DG
Day 63 AFHF

**Janice** · July 23, 2008, 12:10 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Just popping in to say hi........Mary, as usual, you always hit the nail on the head. There's no way I want to return to those 'old habits' and although I have started drinking again, I am anxious to retain some of those new habits I learnt over those 120 days.......one being an ice cold tonic water and lemon on the patio!! Just had half an hour break on the patio and the tonic water was enough for me. Honest!!

love to everyone......Cindi, I need to read some old posts, hope you're okay?

Janicexxx

**retteacher** · July 23, 2008, 12:15 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Doggy: I too am so happy not to be in hiding any more. And yes, the hiding doesn't always keep everything under wraps (as evidenced by your husband's comments). The best part of abs is living life w/honesty & integrity. Mary

**Cinders** · July 23, 2008, 12:22 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Janice, DG, Mary, 4tB,

I am okay. I let AL sneak up on me because of the TN pain I am suffering. Well, and lets be honest, I am going to Lenair next week.

Kind of a last hurrah.

My last hurrahs have always been ugly. I mean really ugly.

This one is no exception. I have cuts and bruises and a badly hurt ego. I am so stupid.

I am hanging in there, though, for now and not going to do anything stupid until Lenair. Period. I would like to survive without much more bodily harm.

I am working my job and being productive. One foot in front of the other until next week.

Much love,
Cindi

**Sheepish** · July 23, 2008, 01:24 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Thank you Mary
Praying for you Cindi.
Struggling myself right now.
-Sheep

**retteacher** · July 23, 2008, 01:53 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Always, always come here & share (even just a little). It'll keep your goal in front of you. I've done my share of struggling & am definitely NOT out of the woods. However, when I total all the AF days & the drinking days I've had since MWO, the AF days win by a longshot. Keep coming. We're here all the time. Mary

**Ibelieve** · July 23, 2008, 03:11 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Just Today

Cindi -

i am thinking warm and comforting thoughts about you right now --- as i am sure many others are dong.

The old sayings have been around for a long time for a reason---- they are true and have stood the test of time. The one "old habits die hard. " is especially appropriate for us. the AFHF days need to to literally overwhelm the old AL days. Please take care and put one foot in front of the other for the next few days. Good times are coming!

diane

**sothankful** · July 23, 2008, 05:20 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

I like that good times are coming. what a comfort that is.

**cowgal** · July 23, 2008, 06:08 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

hi

I, too am just hanging on w/ a thread, haven't told anyone at work about my 9/8-9/11 stint in Houston w/ Lenair, hope they don't give me grief!!! I rescheduled all my patients and canceled a small vacation to the beach in Aug..................................I will pray for you Cindi, hang in there, I am right behind you.......................

hope it works!!!

love,

MA

**Determinator** · July 23, 2008, 06:19 PM

July 23 - Wed. - Daily Thread

Happy late check-in ABaroooonies!

Cindi, check your PM's. perhaps a last hoorah is not a bad way to start a new chapter in your recovery. at any rate it's done...just don't hurt yourself! I too had a lot of "mystery" bruises and cuts. I remember waking up once with gravel in my mouth and my face all cut up. yikes. ok, lets not do that anymore.
I think you are going to get a LOT out of Lenair. You are a serious minded person and very logical.

Mary, great kickstart, thank you!

I had a fab day. Got up early and went shooting before the heat and wind got too bad.
I'll be flying to LA for a couple days next week but I'm not dreading it.
welcome to Ibelieve!
be well everyone!

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