Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I'm under some pressure w/family situations (kids, aged parents), but I'm not using that as an excuse to drink. There could ALWAYS be an excuse to drink, & I want to break that pattern of needing "to take the edge off." There are countless people who get through all kinds of crises wo/resorting to drink. I want to be one of those.

That said: I have so much to be grateful for today. I'll be taking my g-sons to a nature program, & I know I'll enjoy it myself. If I were harboring a hangover, I'd be obssessing on that & all my guilt. I don't have that today, & for that I'm very, very thankful.

Pre-MWO, I was incredibly preoccupied w/my drinking prob. I got very little enjoyment out of life. My thinking was always centered around:
-when, where, & how can I drink?
-what am I doing to my aging body?
-is anyone noticing my prob?

Thank you everyone at MWO. Those concerns are no longer a part of my life today.

Love, Mary

[Beck]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Hello Everyone,

I am back from the first AF vacation of my adult life. Had a great time and remember all of it - such a bonus. Another bonus is that I have noticed for the past 3 months or so is that my kids no longer ask if I am going to participate in family activities - they just assume I will. (In the past, I often begged out - either hungover or preferring to stay home and drink)

Mary, I feel like I have been under some pressure for months. While I am happy that I am doing so well, I am aware that the 6 month mark (which I hit this week) can be especially difficult. In the past, any excuse to drink would do. Sometimes I struggle, but I don't drink.

Det, do well.

Janice, good to see you back

Today we are celebrating my DD3's birthday - she is 12. Off to go join in the festivities.

[ready2change]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Morning all....Mary, ditto to all your reasons not to drink. I feel so lost and out of control of my own actions. I know this sounds like an excuse...but I have no other answer. I go days AF and feel so great and then get drug down the abyss again. It doesn't help to have a drinking husband. You make promises together and end up breaking them together. I know I have to do this for myself. I just feel so out of control.

I read here on the boards daily looking for hope and inspiration. So many of you have succeeded. I know I can, I just need to find myself again to be able to do it. Thats the catch, I probably need to be AF to be able to find myself. Day one....AGAIN..wish me strenght.

R2C

[retteacher]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

r2c: You can do this. For me, it's been a readiness issue. When I'm ready to stop, I will. So far so good, but I've had my struggles as you know. Just NEVER give up. You can do this. Mary

[4theboyz]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Good Morning Abbers!

Mary, enjoy the day with your G-sons at the nature program! Doing stuff like that really helps to "break the cycle" as you say. I have found the minute you let up and 'relax', AL takes that opportunity to sneak up on you and try and exploit any weaknesses in you daily efforts.

Good to see you back and doing so good Beck!

R2C, I feel for you as you seem to be in a difficult spot. The good thing is you do realize your need to make a change but trying to find yourself at the same time is what could be the hard part. Focus on the not drinking part of your life and the missing you just might appear when you least expect it.

I know when I did get far enough away from my old drunk self, it was the other people in my life who noticed the changes first. Whether the changes in your life are big or small, it will be worth the effort and I think it is great that you are still trying to do it!

Have a great AF day everyone!

[Determinator]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

quick check in from Disneyland (my hotel is about 200 yards from there). Beck huge congrads on the AF vacation...tell us some details!
Ready2, good job for climbing back in the saddle with us so quickly and not getting mired in the defeat mentality.
Mary, 4thboyz and all to follow have a great day.

I didn't know Disney set of fireworks every night so that scared the willies out of me! LOL

be well friends

[ready2change]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Thanks for the replies Mary, 4TB and Det....your words of encouragement mean volumes to me. I feel like I know each of you personally and admire and respect your struggles with this beast.

I KNOW I can do this, I just need to make a promise to myself and respect that promise. I hate feeling like my life is out of control, when I'm the only one who can gain control of it?

R2C

[cowgal]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

hi

WOW, Beck, great job on an AF vacation, they are fun, aren't they?? And you remember everything, what a concept!!??

Ready2, I deal w/ the drinking husband, although he never makes promises to slow down or stop..................it is very difficult, but I have been told it can be done, I just haven't had long term success w/ it yet, I will share about it when I do! I am hoping my Lenair escape/treatment will help..............

Mary, you are so full of insight and good ideas.

Det, yeah those fireworks are a BANG, huh??!! Was jsut there last weekend, have fun!!

4theboyz, you sound great!! I am glad you are doing well, I am on day 2, so jumping back in the saddle too..................

love you guys,:l:h
MA

[pepper]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Hi all,

I am new here in abs. I did 30 days AF in November and then tried (unsuccessfully, obviously) to mod. Here I am back again after drinking heavily just about every day...I went AF yesterday after going on a bender Sunday night and seriously damaging my relationship with my boyfriend with my nastiness. Almost bought beer last night but didn't:-) Feeling really good this morning. Working on day 2. Any encouragement would be appreciated!

[ready2change]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Pepper...you can do this. WE CAN do this. Just think of how good it feels to be AF and HF (hangover free). Find something to fill your time during the witching hour. I know for me, if I come home and decide to cook dinner, I'm toast as I enjoy my wine whilst cooking. If I just go home and walk my doggies and get some take out...I'm thru the woods. So, think what works for you. And I'll meet you back here on the abs board to report our progress.

R2C

[A Work in Progress]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Good for you, Pepper. When you think you really HAVE to have a drink, try putting it off for 30 minutes, or 20, or even 10, then do something else, and notice how you feel... if necessary, repeat this! If you are near a computer, log on here and post something!

It cuts off the big argument in the mind and gives your brain time to calm down a bit...

wip

[CS04]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

R2C and Pepper,
I will try day 1 with you today. I think I may try another go at a 30 on Aug. 1st. I am nervous though, cause I was unsuccessful before (did 14 days + 7 days in June). I need to try again.

[Beck]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Welcome Ready, Pepper, CS04!!! Good to have you here. I wish you all the best. AF requires effort and commitment. Read the boards and post here daily. It helps. I have been AF for nearly 6 months and frankly I didn't think I could do it either. I very nearly bailed several times but I have always managed to pull through. One thing that worked for me when I was about to drink was using the PM function. I PMed someone I knew would never approve of my making excuses to drink and would call me on it. (I'm just a person who appreciates tough love) Ask for help before you drink. Too many people at MWO lately seem to be reporting their slips/lapses rather than trying to talk it out before the drink.

Cowgal, I have read some of your recent struggles. So sorry you are having such a difficult time. Happy you are back on your feet and on the ABS thread.

[Doggygirl]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

Hi abbers!! One or two more posts while my hair dries, then I'm off to see Dad.

Mary, sorry to hear that you are under family pressure. I don't have kids so can't relate to that one..but the aging parents???? I'm there with you. From your post, ...this is so true at least for me:

There could ALWAYS be an excuse to drink....
People talk about triggers. While it wasn't true way back when many years ago in my drinking career, these days alcohol for me is really about a fix for my addiction. Any excuse will do. Happy? Let's have a drink! Sad? Let's have a drink! Stressed out? Let's have a drink! Getting together with friends? Let's have a drink! Lonely or just alone? Let's have a drink! Got lots to do? Let's have a drink! Bored? Let's have a drink! Fight with Mr. Doggy? Let's have a drink! Schmoozy time with Mr. Doggy? Let's have a drink! Mother in law coming to visit? Let's have a drink! Mother in law NOT coming to visit? Let's have a drink! et-cet-erA, et-cet-er-A, et-cet-er-A......

Beck it is GREAT to see you back! So glad that you had fun on your AF vacation. That is SO COOL that your kids just assume you will be participating now. I can sure relate to th 1001 excuses to skip out on family or other events for the reasons you mentioned! Have fun - a 12 year old birthday party - can I come????

R2C, WE CAN DO THIS!! I can't imagine how much more challenging this is with a drinking (regularly) spouse. (Cowgal that's for you too!!) I know what you mean about promises made together and broken together - Mr. Doggy and I went round and round like that with smoking for about 7 years until he finally just quit on his own. He was sick enough of smoking and wanted to be done with it bad enough that he decided to stop waiting around for me. (and then I paid the price for it later when he got completely fed up with MY smoking and he made my life a living hell, but I'm glad he did!!!!) It sounds like it will be up to you to pave the AF way. I wish you STRENGTH in doing whatever you have to do to put your sobriety 1st.

4tbz - this part of your post really hit home for me today:
I know when I did get far enough away from my old drunk self, it was the other people in my life who noticed the changes first.

This is sure true for me. Especially people I see early in the morning - 3X a week at business meetings. There is a HUGE difference between showing up trying desparately to hide a hang over v. showing up NOT hungover, and usually right after working out so my blood is pumping and I'm WIDE awake. At first the comments people would make made me feel funny - like OH NO!!! They all KNEW I was HUNGOVER!!! (and they probably did) but now I'm just happy with my new life and how I feel, and I've come to embrace those kinds of observations.

Deter - LOL if I was staying at the hotel where you are, I don't think booze would draw me away from the business at hand....DISNEY would!!!!!!! LOL on the fireworks... Hope you are hangin' in there as far as the drinking buddies go. Not worth giving up everything you've worked so hard for over a night or two with the old pals.....

Cowgal, so good to see you!!! When do you go to Lenair again? I hope it works well for you as it has so many others. I can't keep track of who is going when!!

:colorwelcome: Pepper!!! I hear ya on mods not working. It will never work for me either. I'm sick of "trying" that (it was just another excuse in my head...). I hope you are able to repair the weekend's damage with your BF.....

Hi again WIP and also welcome back CS04!!

WE CAN DO THIS!!

DG
Day 69 AFHF

[CS04]

Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

I like Beck's strategy of having someone to PM. I am really upset with life in general. It was hard to do with Topa and supps; now I'm not taking anything (I still have some milk thistle, b-50 and magnesium left). Finances are just awful. Bah.