After 120 days I've been modding since 26th June. I've been doing good, feeling happy, positive and well in control and confident with my decision. I've been getting plenty of exercise, swimming every morning, eating healthily and really getting into my decorating and gardening. Life has been good.
Drinking wise there's been no excess. No getting drunk. No hangovers. No drinking weekdays, weekends only and no secret drinking, only with my husband. I've felt quite proud that I've been able to feel "normal" if you know what I mean!!
All was going to "plan" until this weekend. Last night the drinking thinking was back in my head. The wanting. Don't know where the hell it came from and today I knew I was watching the clock, waiting to suggest our first drink. I found myself very much aware of how much wine I had left in my glass and thinking how much more could I have. Last night I had a sleepless night and for the first time in months was up and down to the loo (I had 3 glasses of wine).
Not a disaster I know, but enough to scare me. I'm at the top of that slippery slope and I'm damned if I'm going down there and throwing away my hard earned 120 days all for nothing.....so as of tomorrow I'm back on the AF path. Bad decision I made maybe in June, and I'm back with my tail between my legs admitting that, but I do know the decision I'm making tonight is the right one.
I had a bonfire tonight in the garden with all my garden rubbish. As the rubbish burnt and the fire died down I thought it had gone out. I put some more dry twigs etc on and the flames came from nowhere and my fire was raging again. It occurred to me this was a
bit like trying mods after abstaining.......that flame is still there. Day 1 for me tomorrow, back to it.
Janicexxx
Drinking wise there's been no excess. No getting drunk. No hangovers. No drinking weekdays, weekends only and no secret drinking, only with my husband. I've felt quite proud that I've been able to feel "normal" if you know what I mean!!
All was going to "plan" until this weekend. Last night the drinking thinking was back in my head. The wanting. Don't know where the hell it came from and today I knew I was watching the clock, waiting to suggest our first drink. I found myself very much aware of how much wine I had left in my glass and thinking how much more could I have. Last night I had a sleepless night and for the first time in months was up and down to the loo (I had 3 glasses of wine).
Not a disaster I know, but enough to scare me. I'm at the top of that slippery slope and I'm damned if I'm going down there and throwing away my hard earned 120 days all for nothing.....so as of tomorrow I'm back on the AF path. Bad decision I made maybe in June, and I'm back with my tail between my legs admitting that, but I do know the decision I'm making tonight is the right one.
I had a bonfire tonight in the garden with all my garden rubbish. As the rubbish burnt and the fire died down I thought it had gone out. I put some more dry twigs etc on and the flames came from nowhere and my fire was raging again. It occurred to me this was a
bit like trying mods after abstaining.......that flame is still there. Day 1 for me tomorrow, back to it.
Janicexxx
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