Wednesday 20 August

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning everyone. Aren't the morning starting to get dark already.

Thanks everyone for all the words of encourgement yesterday. It makes me feel stronger.

No good pictures of bears I'm afraid. I am just as challenged by cameras as I am by IT generally. I was struggling so much trying to get shots, that I was missing all the action. So when all I had to show was a few shots of bears bottoms disappearing back into the forest the others took pity on me. They whispered to me to just enjoy the bears and they would email me their pictures. People are nice.

Life after alcohol........

Want to ask everyones advice. Yesterday I had a dreadful day at the office. Nothing life threatening, changing or anything but just generally rubbish. On the commute home I was craving the oblivion that I used to get when self medicating with Al. What does everyone else do when every nerve in their body is screaming "I don't want to feel like this!"?

Probably where I have been going wrong all these years but my mind wants everything to be logical and constructive. Feeling bad seems like such a waste of life when there is nothing that can be done to change the situation. I don't know where I am going with this but there must be some constructive way to not feel bad. What does everyone else do?

Yesterday's thread all sounded very positive with everyone moving forward however tentatively. Slip ups just show us what not to do next time.

Chin up all. Love you folks

[Janice]

Wednesday 20 August

Morning Loppy......I'm hoping today will be a better day. Loppy, the last two nights I have been on the women for sobriety website, reading about their "New Life" Programme.

The programme has two elements, sobriety and recovery. Without sobriety, recovery is not possible and recovery is where we move forward and live our lives fully and richly alcohol free. Yeh! I know I can stop drinking, I have done several times this last year for lengthy periods - its the recovery bit that I find hard!! The programme is all about changing our way of thinking, finding new ways of overcoming and staying clear of negative thoughts!! Bring it on!! Anyway, I found it really interesting and there are lots of information sheets if you want to read up or print them off.

Love to everyone and once again.....thank you for being there.

Janicexxx

[gyco]

Wednesday 20 August

hi loppy,its the feeling of numbing our selves for years,its awkward i no,like you we want the answers rite away,i think mick jagger said it in a song ,time ,time time,is on our side ,yes it is,we have to lern anew to utilise our time,remember theres only 24 hours in a day,and thats not a lot.were probably sleepin thro a lot of it good luck to you gyco

[Beck]

Wednesday 20 August

Morning Everyone,

Another day rushing around with the girls. Today my Mom is taking them shopping and for some reason I have to go as well. She has become such a dependent person since she retired and it makes me kinda nuts. Anyway, my girls get some new stuff and I don't have to pay - guess tagging along is the least I can do.

Loppy, I know the oblivion option appears appealing at times, but I think you just have to feel what you feel. Let it wash over you but don't dwell on the negative. As for the photography, my kids seem to take the pictures now - a very willing concession on my part.

Janice, I too have been looking into WFS. The recovery is the difficult part for me as well. Trying to rebuild my life not just count my sober days. Pretty exciting and scary stuff.

Hello to gyco and all to come

[Sunbeam]

Wednesday 20 August

Loppy, I think we each need to write our own book of strategies for creating our new life. Whe I get home from work, now usually have a cup of caffeine: coffee, tea or soda. I watch the news channel, look through mail, sit for maybe an hour or less, then get some things done. It is a much more satisfying routine than drinking wine.

Janice, I will check out that web site for ideas. But I don't expect to find people nicer than here.

[Doggygirl]

Wednesday 20 August

Good morning everyone!!

Loppy, thanks for getting us started and for offering up good food for thought. (your question about your bad day at the office - not the bear butts LOL!!) I think developing the ability to deal with things in the here and now is what I completely got away from with AL. In a "generally bad day at the office" situation, it MAY be that there is really nothing to be done about it other than just let it roll off as Beck mentioned letting things roll off. I really think all AL does is help us procrastinate the inevitable - either taking action where action is needed - or in some cases, accepting that we can't change something. I dunno. But Loppy it's a great topic as always.

(oh - and glad your friends are e-mailing you pictures!!!)

Janice and Beck, interesting you mention the re-building of our future's and exploring tools to help with that. I also feel like I'm at a stage where yes - I MUST keep not drinking every day in order to get my life on track. But...I also feel the need for some sort of guide to help me find my way to a fulfilling life. The Women For Sobriety tools sound interesting and I'm going to check them out. I have been exploring the SMARTRecovery program - they also have formal tools which I am finding helpful. I am hoping to spend some time on that today after the workout and errands.

I canned 12 quarts of tomatoes yesterday!! Had some interesting thoughts crop up when I realized I've never done that sober - at least not since childhood when helping mom/grandmas/aunts do it. I posted more on that in Booze Busters so won't repeat it all here. Anyway....no booze for me today.

Hello Gyco and all yet to come!

DG

[charlee]

Wednesday 20 August

Morning all
Interesting topic this morning.......I am finding it difficult these days, as the longer I am away from the drink, I realize until I make some lifestyle changes, I will always be standing on the edge of that abyss. No drama, no trumatic situations going..just kinda stuck right now. I am allowing myself to be on the "bottom of the totem-pole", and just like drinking, can't wish it away or take a magic pill. It is up to me and I can't seem to muster the energy needed to make changes, as I know it will cause confrontation. Just eaiser to keep my mouth shut, fester inside, knowing this is the worst thing I can be doing....I can feel myself slipping to a place I know I don't want to be.
It is so important that lifestyle change become part of the recovery process.....I know this in my head, now the hard part!!!!

[retteacher]

Wednesday 20 August

Everyone:

I'm going to try to come back & really read this thread through thoroughly. There are some interesting points being made. I too need a guide to live by. I find Alanon helpful but will check in w/WFS as well. I'm going to my parents tomorrow. I haven't ever done this kind of thing sober & will be under stress. I will keep my wits about me though. Take care. If I don't post again before I leave, I will when I get home.

Mary

[Determinator]

Wednesday 20 August

Top of the Wednesday ABeroooos!

so sleepy. it's early for us left coasties. Getting ready to dash off to the air port for a long day. be back tonight around 11pm or so.

good topic and responses.

Charlee, what do you mean by being at the bottom of the totem pole? just curious.

Loppy, Eckart Tolle describes a technique for dealing with your feelings by making "space" around your emotions. You imagine if you will...that you can accept the way you feel (however that might be) and then just meditate on that a bit. Sorry I'm a bit sleepy so this may be coming out jibberish.
I better glug down more of my last vice.....

be well my friends

[Beck]

Wednesday 20 August

Mary - Stay strong on your trip. I know you can do this!!!

Char - Yes, I'm up to the hard part too. Maybe this belongs in long term abs...

Gotta run - shopping with my Mom...great topic.

[Cinders]

Wednesday 20 August

Good Morning Abbers,

Wow. What a great topic today!!

Thanks for starting this Loppy. Good food for thought.

Love,
Cindi

[4theboyz]

Wednesday 20 August

Loppy,

I could throw out all sorts of 'ideas' for feeling better, but not knowing you better, I saw things in the words you chose to describe your thoughts and have this to offer up to you.

There are many contributing factors as to why we feel crappy (like rubbish), PMS aside, sleep, diet and exercise are all "constructive" ways to influence ways for us to feel better. These 3 elements most likely have been severely neglected by our drinking habits and in my opinion offer the most potential to make improvements in our 'happy meter' readings.

Emotions are also very real components in how we feel and drinking alcohol was a consistent way to "feel" better about things or at the very least make us forget why we feel like crap (rubbish). External forces too can have an affect, as we just got done with the full moon routine here and I saw many people out of sorts.

Like you, a sour day at work is a guaranteed mood killer for me and most of the reason a double martini was part of my after work routine.

So what is one to do??

Physical, health and sleep issues aside, I believe much of how we feel is all in our heads. My mom told me this once and it really can work if only temporarily. I noticed many years ago, when I would ask her how she felt, it was always "I feel *Great*!". After hearing that day in and day out I said how is this possible. She worked in a professional career that left no room for less than a 100% "feel good all the time" persona. She told me that her mentor told her that no matter how you felt, you always reply "I feel great" to the question on how are you. She said it was amazing that it would always pick her up and I'll tell you it works for me as well. I still may not "feel great", but at least my mental state gets a boost and it makes the day go much smoother often with a smile I didn't have at the start of the day.

So, Loppy, how do you "feel" today?

[louise]

Wednesday 20 August

Determinator, you've given up garlic? (sorry, off topic, I couldn't resist)

[retteacher]

Wednesday 20 August

Hi Again Everyone: I am finding this thread so very informative & hopeful. This is just what I needed as I anticipate my trip to the parents. I have a lot down there to keep me very busy & will not be drinking at all. I want so much to do this sober.

I again must realize that I am my mother's helper (not keeper). I wouldn't want my kids to be intrusive...even if what they are saying makes perfect sense. I have to realize that my parents (particularly my mother) are not about to change at this point.

I have Smart Recovery in my favorites & like their suggestions about relapse prevention.

Take care everyone. I try to post ASAP after I get back.

Mary

[on my way]

Wednesday 20 August

WOW, what a great discussion today. Like so many of you, I seem to be able to collect a nice string of sober days, but never address my issues or make a plan for permanent sobriety, I will certainly check out the WFS site. I know al is not an option for me. I just cant stop once I start.

Allergies and shoulder are killing me today (rag weed has arrived) so I did not sleep well. Meri the Merciless came yesterday to work on my bum shoulder, it always hurts worse after she grinds out the knots. Gotta love a massage therapist who makes house calls.

Hope I can keep the sobriety going, it is so tempting when al is in the house, husband still drinks (responsibly), I have thought about requesting a no al in the house rule. This is the second day of school for the kids and the stress is building. Would love to sit on the deck with 1 nice glass of white and fill out the 10,000 papers they’ve brought home. The problem is not the 1 nice white….it’s the next 4. Kids have soccer, so that’s my saving grace tonight.

DG & 4tb, have you ever made fresh salsa?? We eat a lot of it while we have fresh tomatoes and cilantro, yummy

Keep up the good fight!!

omw