Wednesday 27 August

[Loppy lugs]

Morning all and what a great day it is today.

Sounds like everyone is truly busy with work and getting the kids back to school. Autumn is coming up on us fast.

My lazy weekend of naval contemplation has certainly paid off. I feel calm and really optimistic. I even made it to the pool yesterday for my first swim (read gentle plosh up and down) this year

I took out the recovery workbook at the weekend but I kept getting waves of anxiety. Normally I would have forced myself to work through it anyway but this time I thought "I'm not ready for this yet, leave it until I am" Just a few weeks ago, chosing not to do something on the to do list would have been unthinkable.

There is so much more to not drinking malarkey than just not drinking. Progress.

Hope everyone feels as fabulous as I do this morning and that temptation isn't as tempting as an AF future.

Take care

[Doggygirl]

Wednesday 27 August

Good morning Monthly Abbers and Loppy, thank you for starting off the thread today. You are really on a roll here with thought provoking messages!! LOL when I read this

My lazy weekend of naval contemplation has certainly paid off. I thought to myself "Loppy found a gem stone!" I guess my sick sense of humor is back.

Loppy lugs;392620 wrote:
There is so much more to not drinking malarkey than just not drinking. Progress.

Certainly by around 60 Days I too found myself in the mode of "there must be more to not drinking than not drinking!" I still have not figured out what all of that means yet. I AM glad to be branching out in my sobriety with the face to face and on-line group meetings. I feel like I am exercising my mind a bit. Discovering more about myself that will eventually lead me in some new directions. That's what it feels like now anyway.

Hello to those I missed over the last couple days - my posting was a bit random. I hope everyone is getting a great start to Wednesday!

DG
Day 98 AFHF

[Guest]

Wednesday 27 August

Hi there peoples,
I found this on the women for sobriety website (I think) some time ago and I had it saved on my computer for a long time.. lots of it I do like and thought it might go well here.. if not, just ignore. It was on a topic about how to safeguard your recovery... (number 12 and 13 have been big issues in my life)

Be on guard for these important factors in everyday life.


1. Exhaustion :
Allowing yourself to become overly tire or in poor health. Some addicts are also prone to work addiction, perhaps they are in a hurry to make up for lost time. Good health and enough rest are important. If you feel good, you are more apt to think well. Feel bad enough and you might begin to think a toke couldn't make it any worse.

2. Dishonesty :
This begins with a pattern of unnecessary little lies and deceits with fellow workers, friends and family. Then come deceits with the same people. Then comes lies to yourself. This is called rationalizing (making excuses for not doing what you do not want to do, or for doing what you should not do).

3. Impatience :
Things are not happening fast enough. Or others are not doing what they should or what you want them to.

4. Argumentativeness :
Arguing small or ridiculous points of view indicate a need to always be right. Basically looking for an excuse to go back to using.

5. Depression :
Unreasonable and unaccountable despair may occur in cycles and should be dealt with & talked about.

6. Frustration :
At people, and also because things may not be going your way. Remember, everything is not going to be just the way you want it.

7. Self Pity :
"Why do these things happen to me?" or "Why must I be an addict?" or even "Nobody appreciates what I am doing (for them)"

8. Cockiness :
Got it made, no longer fearing the addiction or going into drug situations to prove others that there isn't a problem. Do this often enough and it will wear down your defenses.

9. Complacency :
It is dangerous to give up on your new disciplines because everything is going well. To always have a little fear is a good thing. More relapses may occur when things are going well. "Using was the furthest thing from my mind"

10. Expecting too much from others :
"I've changed, so why hasn't everyone else?" It's a plus if they do, but it is still your own personal problem even if they don't. They may not even trust your word yet or looking for further proof. You can not expect others to change their lifestyles just because you have.

11. Letting Up On Disciplines:

Prayer, meditation, yoga, daily inventory, 12 step attendance. All methods people use in recovery. Letting up on these can stem from complacency or boredom. You cannot afford to be bored with your recovery. The cost of relapse is always too great.


12. Wanting Too Much:

Do not set goals you cannot reach with normal effort. Do not expect too much. It's always great when good things you were not expecting to happen, happen. You will get what you are entitled to as long as you do your best, but maybe not as soon as you think it should. "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."


13. Forgetting Gratitude:

You may be looking negatively at your life, concentrating on problems that still are not totally corrected. It is a good thing to remember where you started from and how much better life is now.


14. It Can't Happen To Me:

This is dangerous thinking! Almost anything can happen to you and more is likely if you get careless. Remember, addiction is progressive, and you will be in worse shape if you relapse.


15. Omnipotence:

This is a feeling that results from a combination of many of the above. You now have all the answers for yourself and others. No one can tell you anything. You ignore suggestions or advice from others. Relapse is probably imminent unless drastic change takes place.

[gyco]

Wednesday 27 August

hi loppy,im happy to see slow and easy,has come into your life,you keep havung a great day,rememeber ,time is on your side yes it is gyco

[Cinders]

Wednesday 27 August

Loppy,

It is wonderful to hear you sounding so peaceful. Learning to let go of our need to control everything is huge. I have no idea why us alcoholics tend to be that way but I haven't yet met one that isn't like that somewhat.

I absolutely loved your comment:

Hope everyone feels as fabulous as I do this morning and that temptation isn't as tempting as an AF future.

That is exactly how I feel these days. I am so much more grateful to be sober than I am sad that I can't drink. Yes, I get the temptations still and the voice trying to convince me it okay to drink but I can push it back with the thoughts of how wonderful my life is without the drink and how miserable I was with it.

About, Thank you for dropping in. I always read your posts because you are a huge inspiration to me. I have been thinking a lot about relapse prevention. I want to safeguard this last journey into sobriety and have it last the rest of my entire life. I know it will always be a struggle. I have gotten my arms around that because I have had so many relapses after several good long sober days. I am cutting it and pasting it to my desk top so I can easily pull it up and read it when I need inspiration. Thank you.

DG, I liken our journey into sobriety as a teenager learning to grow up. It is not easy and sometimes down right frustrating. But we have stopped our emotional growth in the past with our drinking. Now we get a chance to be what we can. Walking that path with you, DG. I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I do know I don't want to be drunk Cindi ever again. Sober Cindi is so much happier.

Love to all to come!!
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

Wednesday 27 August

Everyone sounds great this morning! Just checking in, making my rounds. I am beginning (finally!) to feel as if there are some really excellent places (threads) here that are consistently positive and helpful, created every single day, by people who are truly working on their commitment to get the alcohol abuse out of their lives. I am really grateful for that.

I got a couple of books, one I had had before and who knows what I did with it, and one is new to me, both of them are excellent resources for relapse prevention as well as early recovery. Each is a non-AA approach involving spirituality based on meditation and mindfulness practice, among other practices. I posted about them in another thread today (for someone asking about meditation in particular), but maybe someone here would be interested, as well, so here is what I posted elsewhere:

One is The Tao of Sobriety (by David Gregson and Jay Efran), and the other is Mindful Recovery (Thomas Bien and Beverly Bien). Another book that is specifically about recovery from depression, but also would be useful in the alcoholism context, is Amazon.com: The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness: J. Mark G. Williams, John D. Teasdale, Zindel V. Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn: Books it has a CD with excellent guided meditations included along with the book.

Oh hell, the links didn't get copied when I moved this quote over, oh well, they are easy to find on Amazon or in bookstores.

wip

[Beck]

Wednesday 27 August

Good morning everyone,

Interesting stuff today. I too worry about relapse. Somehow I am beginning to feel that I have done well enough. A dangerous area and I recognize it as such. Will go to AA meeting today. Thanks for the laundry list About...

Loppy, you sound wonderful. I am very happy for you.

Cindi, This is the most positive I have ever heard you. Good for you.

DG, I too find the face to face helpful.

WIP, for me, this thread has been consistently positive and helpful. There is no sniping here. It is a haven.

Another busy day today...

[on my way]

Wednesday 27 August

UGHHHHH, Woke up with a cold and I feel like poop. Hopefully I can glean an optimistic outlook from all your positive posts. I have a few errands today; glad I do not have to work. Plan on a nap later and maybe a nap after that. No run or bike today,

Happy sober day to you all!!

omw

[retteacher]

Wednesday 27 August

Everyone:

What a wonderful thread today! Now that I'm back from my parents & feel good about the trip, I really want to go whole-hog into my recovery. I've put Women for Sobriety into my favs & will look up that long list of triggers (many of which I've given in to when I've relapsed).

For me, stopping drinking is only the first step. My daily struggle is learning how to live wo/some sort of mind-altering substance or activity (for me, over-activity). I want to experience life & deal w/the challenges that come up. That said: my first & most important step is to NOT DRINK. That's imperative.

Take care everyone.

Love, Mary

[Beck]

Wednesday 27 August

You sound wonderful Mary, good to have you back.

[on my way]

Wednesday 27 August

Wow, no nap and I think I will actually make it through the day. A handful of ibuprofen probably did help matters a bit.

Mary, it?s nice to have you back. (The aged parents thread) Really sounds like you let your compassion supercede your frustration. Love can truly transcend adversity. For me, I know patience is easier to muster when sober. Glad you enjoyed your visit, sounds like you were a great help.

The best to all, omw

[retteacher]

Wednesday 27 August

I am very happy I stayed sober. I would never have had the quality communication I had if I'd been drinking. Mary

[Determinator]

Wednesday 27 August

heya friends I'm alive and well in the desert! by accident found an unsecured wifi spot so lets see how this goes. can't really spend much time as dirt and dust is blowing into my expensive new laptop...eeeek!

I just wanted to say I miss you all tons and want to give you all a big hug XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've been to an AA meeting here at 'burning man' and also an Ekhart Tolle discussion group...very cool.

even surrounded by booze I'm doing just fine happy to say

be well friends and enjoy the wonderful "now"