i'm too serious

[1967]

anybody feel like this:

since i'm not drinking i'm just so serious.
i work and i sleep.

i don't hang out because when i do everyone is drinking beer.
i don't wanna drink beer so i stay home.

i know... let me just be happy i'm not drinking anymore.

i wish i could moderate my life... i have an all or nothing personality.
i guess i need practice.

[startingover]

i'm too serious

Hi 1967. I know what you mean, I too have an all or nothing personality. When I first stopped I thought that I would have no social life at all because I would be riddled with anxiety, boring and completely unable to mix with anyone without al in my system.

I would like to tell you that all that is behind me now.....I am afraid I can't. BUT what I can tell you is that it's getting better. I still don't think I would feel comfortable going to a party but I am getting to the point where I can socialise with small groups, have a laugh and generally feel more comfortable.
I also get these little feelings of pure happiness. Not sure If I can explain but sometimes I just feel happy, not for anything in particular but content in general. I NEVER felt that before, my happiness while drinking was false. It didn't last and it could change in a heartbeat to a dreadul low.

I am not sure how long you have been af but please just give yourself a chance, it will and does get better but it is a learning process. We are learning something new and it will take time.

Chin up buddy.

[1967]

i'm too serious

hey startingover... i'm 65 days AF.
Interesting about the happiness feeling you mentioned. I've not felt that since childhood. Be soooo happy u can feel this. In general I feel not much at all. I feel okay or sad. That is about it.... oh and now I feel alert. And I'm pretty satisfied w/being alert. nice change....
I am totally open to new experiences... anxious for them even.
Let us hope for the best...

[startingover]

i'm too serious

Wow 1967 65 days, that is amazing!!! Good for you.
Now, I am taking antideppressants and the supplements to keep my mood up. Do you take anything?

[tlrgs]

i'm too serious

give it time 1967 .. it all come to full circle and you will be able to enjoy both side of the fence being sober..

[retteacher]

i'm too serious

Life & socializing is definitely different sober. I too have felt that REAL happiness you & Starting Over referred to. For me, it springs from knowing that I have control of my life & I'm not hiding anything. I've also found that my sense of humor & wit are more developed when I'm sober. I'm not raucous fun...that's no my personality. However, I have now have the presence of mind to be able to make witty rejoinders in conversation. Also, I'm not harboring a fear that people will think I've had too much to drink. The drinking actually inhibits me.

Mary

[gyco]

i'm too serious

you said it you need practise,its and old saying pravtise makes perfect.it was a lie,give it time and keep comin here were a great bunch of people and beleive it or not all the folks here have helped me,and we will help you have a great day gyco

[1967]

i'm too serious

hi all... as far as taking anything for the blues.... i started 5-HP just yesterday.... seratonin enhancer. i've a script for anti depressants but i'm avoiding that route. things just seem to snowball if i use meds....

i need to learn to cope w/life completely on my own.

i've had to deal w/trauma in my life and it has left me feeling numb. medication has not been able to take away that feeling. i've tried a lot of different varieties. i think i just have to get used to life on the numb side.
i'm going to just have to accept it and if things get better that would be great.
things might get worse but I WILL JUST LEARN TO COPE.

i am an introvert by nature but can be outgoing. but it generally happens in spurts.
it's okay. and yes, i will make a point to check in here more regularly. school is back in session and now i have to be on the ball. it was really smart for me to sober up for two months before going back. for me as for all stress is a real trigger. i've changed my routine a lot... even gardened today. Sunday is a big all day drink feast in the caribbean.
thanks for everyone's encouragement... tlrgs.. how long are u AF now???

i

[tlrgs]

i'm too serious

10 months and 10 days 67 and enjoying it the best i can

[kriger]

i'm too serious

1967,
I found myself retreating into myself while I was drinking...it got worse and worse. I am AF 28 days but I am still within myself. I recognize that fact and I have decided to take baby steps to get out and start enjoying life. So far, I am still sitting on my couch doing everything I did (or didn't do) while drinking but without the AL. I feel very much as you do, but I think recognizing it is one step further to getting out there. Because of your post and what I am saying here I am going to try my baby steps this week. For me, I think I'll start by really engaging in my sales business- it will be out of my recent comfort zone, but that is what I really need to do. I hope you find a baby step to take and go for it. We will both feel better at the end of this week, don't you think? Best to you, 1967!
Kriger

[1967]

i'm too serious

cool good 4 u!

[1967]

i'm too serious

hm... hi Kriger... i was feeling rather oppressed at the idea that tomorrow is monday and i'll be at work until friday.
i do finish work at 4 however.
and i do relish my alone time. ... i am doing as you mentioned ... ditto...!
staying in the zone... i poke my head out occasionally but not for long. I've read more books in the last 3 months!
nice to think that perhaps i may have contributed to your taking a little action.
i'm 60 plus days AF. the most remarkable benefit so far is the improvement in my sleep. oh, and I do look so entirely worn out!
let's try and remember to compare notes at weeks end!
i am not sure what i could come up w/to do to take a first step out of the zone?
so... let's make a deal... i'll will do something between now and friday... that is out of the zone.

[Doggygirl]

i'm too serious

1967 - I think there is a transition point somewhere in the 60 - 90 day range where some people (certainly me!!) go from getting pleasure simply from NOT drinking. Each day of not drinking is a good day!!

Then I reached a point more recently where I started feeling like "there must be more to life than simply Not Drinking." Is that sort of where you are? I personally don't think I will find fulfillment hanging out with former drinking buddies even if I'm not drinking alcohol. And I am absolutely 110% sure that drinking again will NOT provide the fulfillment in life that I seek.

For me and I suspect for many of us, we got so into a rut of work and then party with friends (or drink alone - whatever) that we forgot how much fun stuff there is to enjoy in life. That's what I'm working at exploring now - getting out of my self imposed jail (a daily routine of drinking at home) to see what's out there for me in this big ol' world.

I am also exploring methods to better deal with stressors and emotional issues - finding ways to more rationally and effectively deal with problems rather than allowing things to upset me unecessarily, which in the past would lead to drinking. There are some interesting tools and philosophies out there to help explore those kinds of things.

Best wishes to you!!! Don't let Al fool you into thinking that he is the solution to your depressed feelings, bored feelings, etc. You already know that's a lie.

DG
Day 102

[1967]

i'm too serious

thanks for the perspective doggygirl!
i think this is why this site is so positive. i was even starting to think 'maybe AL wasn't such a big deal for me" = danger!

and no... i don't have any interest to hang out w/old or new AL buddies. last week-end at the beach i was prompted... given drinks... i just said no thanks... gotta ride my vespa home!
some where like 'no biggie" it'll be a biggie if i'm sliding across the pavement!

i think i need to look at this as i'm just at the beginning of this new phase in my life... at the very beginning. which is pretty cool actually...
hey... how do u guys add ur quotes at the bottom of the posts?
i want to add 'af since... whenever... i'll check my calendar"
thank u all!!!

[1967]

i'm too serious

i have to really thank u all.... i was thinking 'man I am one boring human."
i went out once this week-end... to take the cats to vet to be neutered.
no kidding.
oh, and i just went to the store for ice cream (which i couldn't locate) and kitty litter.
scary... *background music please*