BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

[islandboy]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

I LOVE THIS SITE

HI GUYS IM A NEWBIE ALL THE WAY FROM FREEPORT(BAHAMAS) WE ARE WATCHING SEVERAL STORMS THATS THREATNING OUR COUNTRY AND BELIEVE ME THATS STRESSFUL.SO CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT PRESSURE IM UNDER ON MY FOURTH AF DAY NO WORK BECAUSE ALL THE TOURIST LEFT.BUT I WANT TO SAY THANKS TO YOU GUYS IM RECEIVING THE STRENGHT TO PULL THRU THIS.IVE JUST FINISH READING THE POSTS FROM DOGGYGIRL AND SAUSAGE AND THEIR THEORY ON MODERATION AND TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIER VIEWS THAT IF YOURE SICK AND TIRED THE BEST THING TO DO IS BE HARD ON YOURSELF WEIGH THE PRO AND CONS AND DROP THAT HABIT LIKE A HOT PIECE OF COAL.JUST WANT TO END BY SAYING I WOKE UP SUNDAY MORNING FEELING SICK AND SHAME OF MY SELF AND TOLD MYSELF I CAN CONTINUE TO FEEL LIKE A SICK FOOOL OR DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.I CHOSE THE LATTER TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME 4 DAYS AF THANKS FOR THE STRENGHT GUYS,:thanks:

[louise]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Morning all. Just a quick HI. Painter coming shortly so I have to get going. The house is looking so great! I'm so happy with the colors I picked out (which is good because I tried numerous samples and it took me forever!)
Re: the "oh well I had 1, may as well keep going" - I do think it is critical to not invest so much in the counting that that attitude develops and if you do drink, get back on the AF program immediately. It is the same thing with a healthy diet. Eating 1 piece of cake at a birthday party does not mean we then eat the whole thing and carry on eating cake daily for weeks. Sausage, my husband does recognize I have a problem but does not think I am an alcoholic. We have also always had a wine cellar, although it is much smaller now (confined to a storage bench). He does not have a problem at all and has been willing not to drink at all in front of me when I am struggling if I ask him to. Mostly I try to do it on my own. I have not had any problem with people trying to persuade me to drink. Usually I just tell them I want tea or whatever. If it comes up at all I tell them I just don't feel like it at the moment or I'm trying to eat more healthily to lose weight or taking medication I am not supposed to drink with. Maybe in the future I will tell them I don't drink any more but I need to get there myself first. I have never had any further questions. And it very rarely comes up. Most people do not question other peoples drink choices. It would never occur to me to ask a friend why they ordered sparkling water with dinner instead of wine or said, "No thanks, I think I'll have some tea." I think we worry about this unnecessarily.
Day 3 and doing fine - probably because I was mostly AF in Aug. and no binges so so far it seems normal.
Hope everyone has a good day.
P.S. Welcome Island Boy!

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Island Boy, welcome! And you will probably want to start your own thread, so that you don't get lost in the middle of this one. Go to "Just Starting Out" and tell us about yourself. People will probably like it better, also, if you don't type all in caps (makes it sound as if you are yelling!).

best wishes,

wip

[retteacher]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Everyone:

This is an interesting discussion about modding. I know I cannot. As soon as I try, I trigger a binge. I've watched enough (really) moderate drinkers & light drinkers to know I just cannot do it...ever. I'm much, much happier knowing I have a difinitive boundary line: DON'T DRINK, NO MATTER WHAT! Mod/Light drinkers:
-have 1 or 2 ALL NIGHT.
-leave drinks unfinished.
-aren't obssessed w/when they can pour another.
-don't sneak drinks when nobody's looking.
-don't drink alone.
-don't drink wine out of coffee cups.
-don't hide bottles under the sink.

There's a big difference between my drinking & mod drinking. Regardless of how many times I try to moderate (& I've tried many, many times), I always progress to my former, excessive levels.

I'll try to check back later or tomorrow.


Mary

PS: Does this thread start up anew every Monday? Just wondering how it works.

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Hi, Mary. Good points. This thread starts up new every Monday and runs all week. It is one of my big-time FAVES!!!

wip

[SAUSAGE]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

It's now 9pm here in UK and I remain AF but it's not easy. As soon as the kids went down I went for a 40 min cycle ride despite the cold and rain. Felt much more motivated after that. Sipping a cup of tea right now!

Been thinking hard on the cycle ride and earlier today going over in my head all the issues i've read on here eg the recording of AF days ie all or nothing, risk of abstinence violation effect, the dangers of moderation etc and I've come to the conclusion that it is so much easier not to drink at all. Moderation is just such hard work - you'd spend all your time waiting for when you can have a drink, living for the moment when you'd allow yourself to do it (so any days when you didn't allow one must be poorer quality and miserable presumably if the drink is that important to you) Then how do you record the drink you've had. How much do you allow yourself to have? Won't your resolve slip after 1 drink anyway and then lead to another. And as someone said earlier there is so much to lose if it goes wrong and you find you can't moderate.

As I see it people fall into several catagories;

People who drink from time to time but who don't' have an issue with alcohol - presumably no-one here or they wouldn't be on the forum

People who do have an issue and know it and so are trying to moderate either successfuly -in which case they are being very strong willed but must be either as miserable as sin on the days they can't drink / or spend each day /situation agonising over whether it's one that would allow them to drink - and then if it is - how much?

or those moderating unsuccessfuly - so they still have a problem - right and are in a viscious miserable cycle over and over again of trying to stop (denying the pleasure ) then beating themselves up when they have too much

Or those who don't drink at all - they are in control have no issues to resolve in their head and they get on with life and find pleasures in other ways

Ok so this latter catagory is not easy, particularly initially and I'm struggling like hell right now - but i've decided that's the one I want to be in and it's the happiest and healthiest in the long run - so I'm aiming for abstainence

Please continue to support me everyone:thanks:

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Sausage, I think you have it nailed.

wip

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Good afternoon (well, here it's afternoon!).

WIP - I believe that I too had to "try to mod" in order to find out FOR ABSOLUTELY SURE that I can't do it - not now and not ever. It is hard to sit back and let people figure that out for themselves. I AM glad I got a lot of tough love through my really rough patch (about 8 months of in and out of MWO) from people like Chief and Satori and others who KNEW based on my history that I was not destined to mod and didn't hesitate to tell me so. Even though I struggled for a long time to get back on the wagon, it could have taken even longer without my tough lovers!

Sausage, I have not read the Allen Carr book on quitting drinking or smoking (I quit that 1.5 years ago) but have heard they are good tools. Also, I can't blame you for being hesitant about AA meetings in that close of a community where you might run into your patients. I've been attending some on-line chat meetings (structured, scheduled meetings - not general chat) at SMART recovery and I've been enjoying those. I also go to a Smart face to face meeting on Sundays - I was just lucky there was one in my town. Just some additional support resources to consider.

In answer to your question about what other people say. I have NOT had an issue with anyone trying to twist my arm into drinking. The non or normal drinkers don't seem to think much of it at all. The heavy drinkers - and let's face it, we know who each other is (are?) - are happy so long as they can drink at the volume levels they want to. I don't use the phrase "I'm trying to abstain." I'm not sure if you use that word either when you are actually talking to people, but I will use it as an example since it was in your post. "Trying" anything leaves a door open that you WON'T do it. You're just trying - that's all. I think that opens the door for people to debate with you the merits of "trying." If you leave yourself some wiggle room, others might be happy to help and encourage you to wiggle.

Depending on the company, I'm inclined to just say "I'll have _____________ (insert non-alcoholic beverage here)" and move on. If someone were to ask - which they generally don't - if I don't feel like getting into the "I quit" thing, I'm on a diet, which is also the truth anyway. Among friends, I have said things like "My problem is I don't want one drink, I want all of them!" These are people who KNOW what a big drinker I was, so I have nothing to hide and nothing to lose with them. Not sure if that answers your question or helps!!

Welcome islandboy!! Freeport is so beautiful. I hope the storm damage is minimal and the tourist industry is back in full swing soon. CONGRATULATIONS :cheering: on 4 AF days. Keep reading and posting! Good to have you here Booze Busting with us.

louise - congratulations :cheering: on Day 3!!!! When is the balloon festival? You said that family is coming to visit you for that, right? Wish I could come visit for that!!! WE WANT PICTURES!

Mary - thank you for your observations about how "normal" drinkers drink. (or proably just as often, don't drink) I'm with you - figured out that I can never be that way, and it's just a royal miserable battle to even try. Mr. Doggy is a "normal" drinker. He rarely thinks of alcohol - in fact I'm going to guess he NEVER thinks of it unless other people around him are drinking. He can nurse one beer all afternoon and never finish it. Two beers is a HUGE drinking day for him. It's just not central to his life - at all.

Yep we have a new thread each Monday to kick off the week! I think it works well for newcomers to MWO - if the thread gets REALLY long it can be a bit intimidating to new folks.

I'm putting off a couple of things until tomorrow that I originally planned to do today. But that's because I feel like doing more shopping in my closet!! The weather forcast is showing a couple days this week with a high in the 60's so I'm hoping to find a nice SMALLER outfit to wear for the early days of fall.

Have a great rest of the day everyone.

DG
Day 105

[retteacher]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

I find that most of my friends now know that I don't drink & have my fav soft drinks on hand. I like that. Absolutely no one urges me to drink.

It took me quite a while to realize that I couldn't mod. For me, I needed some relapses (pretty disgusting relapses at that) to really GET that I can't drink at all.

My most difficult times are:
-when I first go into a soc. event when the host is pouring the first drink. (After that I'm OK.)
-when I'm tired or jet-lagged & want to numb out.
-when I entertain in my home w/wine.

The more I overcome the above situations, the stronger I get. My brain is being rewired to understand that I do not need to drink.

Mary

[greeneyes]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Mary, I went to a friend's for dinner with people that were drinking and she had flavored perrier, soda and tea for me. That was nice. They are very proud of me and have actually cut back themselves. I can't do that right now. maybe never, but for sure not now.

A GF and I thought about going to hear a band at a bar Friday night. I guess at some point I will have to do that and she'd be a good person to do it with so we are toying with the idea.

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Hello Booze Busters!!

Mary, I admire you for being able to entertain in your home with wine. Beer doesn't bother me here in the house - never was much of a beer drinker and an NA Beer is fine for me these days if I really want one. (and often I find I don't) But wine?? It will be awhile before I'm ready for wine in the house!!

Speaking of wine....for anyone who enjoys cooking, but is looking for something other than wine to use in cooking (I don't think I'm ready for a real wine bottle in the kitchen yet either) APPLE JUICE. That from a chef. He said it has the right amount of acidity or something like that. Booze Buster exclusive cooking tip!!

Greenie, best wishes if you decide to go hear that band. LOL the main reason I haven't wanted to go to a bar most recently is because most of them are so disgusting around here that sober.....yikes I don't want to think about the carpet and the bathrooms!! I'm so happy for you - you are doing so well Greenie in the Big Girl Pants!!

It's raining here today - much needed actually. It's been a dry summer for us. Funny how nobody seemed to get the RIGHT amount of water this year. Either way too much or way too little. Mother Nature is funny that way sometimes. I'm done with my workout and the cleaning lady is here. I can't believe I fell asleep last night before the Big Speech of Saras!! (well, yes I can because I get up at 4AM...) And it didn't get recorded on Tivo but I'm sure it's on the net. Party politics and issue positions aside, it's a land mark year for women on the political scene in the US so I'm going to see what I missed!

Have a great day kickin' BOOZE BEAST BOOTY!!

DG
Day 106

[happydog]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Hi all booze busters,
Feeling a lot better today, legs still feel weak. Went to work today it was a blessing that i had no work on tues and wed.
Since ive been on my m.w.o ive never once try to moderate i think it would do my head in. If you know what i mean. Thinking about the next drink all the time!, i dont think i could ever be incontrol over my drinking. so i know deep down i need to take control.
Right now im at the internet cafe and there p.c's are sh*t so everytime i try and move the right scoll bar down everything over laps. it giving me a headache.lol

see u all tomorrow and catch up on the post. please God.

Take care all booze busters.x

Love

Teardrop.x

[SAUSAGE]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Hi everyone - Sausage here
Had a really rubbish day, back home now, REALLY tempted to drink, Am on day 4 - that's meant to be a tough one isn't it, am really struggling, Please help me someone !!!!:upset:

[A Work in Progress]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

yo Sausage!!! you still there? did you go to chat?

wip

[SAUSAGE]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day AF Hangover Free Challenge - Week of 9/1/08!

Hi - am still here
Have had a drink (not alcoholic don't worry - and a small pack of rice cakes and chilli dip) My kids are just eating their tea and driving me MAD. It's weird cos it's onlly 5.15 pm here and I don't normally start craving til 7pm around the time they go to bed! Feeling slightly better but it's tough....