Day 11

[Guest]

Day 11

one more

After going back and re-reading some posts I started to get worried that something I wrote yesterday offended friends taking Topa. If that's the case please be sure that was in way my intention in any way, shape or form. I'm all for and support anything we are all doing to reclaim our lives and freedom. Heck, I've been taking zoloft everyday for 12 years!

Matt

[Guest]

Day 11

Re: one more

Matt,

I don't think you offended anyone at all, certainly not me!! I just wanted to share MY WAY OUT with everyone here. I tried to get my post in after I saw Kimber's to make myself clear, but yours beat me!

Donna

[Guest]

Day 11

Re: one more

Donna, Matt, everyone over here,
So glad to see all of you doing so well and heading in the direction that feels right for you!:d Donna, you are AMAZING! Best of strength and courage and knowledge and love on your upcoming vacation. You can do this, and we are behind you!
I nominate Donna as the first ever MWO SWAN! Anyone 2nd that??:happy
Love,
Becca (thanks for letting me sneak a peek again--always so many good thoughts. I love the moving the car so I don't get a ticket thing.... that's me sometimes! hmmmm Guess I still like driving to Vermont too ) That probably came out wrong, but I don't know how else to make that analogy sound right!! Made me think, Susan

[Guest]

Day 11

Re: one more

Hello All,
I just wanted to say day 5 for me this time. I also wanted to explain a little about my thoughts on the abs/moderation discussion.

When I started this program my goal was like Donna said in her post today, to get my life back. I was starting to spiral out of control quickly. Fortunately or unfortunately, when I went to the doc to get topa I ended up finding out I have Hepatitis C(many of you already know this). The only reason I say fortunately is because it is a silent virus, I never would have found out about it for years without MWO and building up courage to see my doc for Topa. That would have meant more years of drinking and doing irreprable damage to my liver.

While I have only been abs for 5 days this time, I have had 2 pretty good stretches of abs this year. In the beginning of the year(including over New Years) I was abs for 7 weeks and up until the middle of June I was abs 5 weeks. I knew that I would have a few drinks the past couple weeks because I was starting treatment Friday to rid my body of this virus and I absoultely cannot drink while on treatment.

Friday was like closing the door on one stage of my life and opening another. I'm happy to close the door, yet terrified to open the next door because it is the biggest challenge I've ever faced in my life. It is also the best thing I can do for myself and those that I love.

As for the future, I can never put myself in the place where I was before. I'm not ruling out that I may have a glass of wine to celebrate my anniversary or xmas, but I'm pretty much abs for the rest of my life. I don't want to jepordize my life, my health, my marriage, and all the other things that were close to falling apart around me as I drank.

To those of you who are debating on which way to go in the future, do what you feel you can handle. However, never forget what brought you to MWO and remember what you've learned here and how MWO has helped us all grow, learn about ourselves, and become better people.

:h ,

Marcie

[Guest]

Day 11

Re: one more

Becca,

Thanks so much! I do believe that brought a tear to my eye! :c

Marcie, I am so proud of you!! Big hugs!! :d

Donna

Off to the cammping store

[Guest]

Day 11

Hi Everyone
A quick check in.Haven't had much of a chance to Post recently as the my kids are still on term break.I read the posts this morning and thought,WOW this is the stuff that keeps us motivated .Love the idea of the long term abs board.I'm pretty sure i'll need to do abs for at least a year if not forever.
lluf
Day 16

[Guest]

Day 11

Oh my......It's taken me an hour to read and digest todays post!! What a long way we've traveled together! I hear alot of "growth" in our little group.... I feel like I've just read a "best seller".....much like "The Reading Group" that I read a few weeks ago. Everyone in our book has their own journey but when we all come together, we have so much in common.
Who would have thunk it???
From having to move your parked car in NYC every few hours to a ten acre field to park the pick-um-up truck in Alabama...:rolleyes So different but we all understand what the others are going through in being desparate for our lives to be what they are intended to be.

I'm so proud to be a part of this group.

I went to big city yesterday ...had a spa massage today and lunch with beautiful daughter....

Life is good.

:h Nancy abs again

[Guest]

Day 11

Hi everyone
I love reading these posts and to be honest I don't know exactly where I'm heading except that it is in a better direction than where I was 8 weeks ago. 57 days with 3 days is for me a pretty good stat. Donna, you speak of a fog lifting, and that is so true. I feel like a weight has been taken from my shoulders. I'm not trying to hide(or remember to move the car)anymore so I can spend time doing meaningful things! I look forward to the future, I have a future!

Thanks for advice Deidre, I went to 75mg today. I'll give it until Friday as I'm on holidays and drop back for work Monday if it feels yuk!

[Guest]

Day 11

I hear ya Nancy! At least one thing unites all of us, and that turns out to be a blessing... might have been in disguise for a while, but here we all are connecting!

Susan, great breakdown of the Abs forum issues. Thanks for the clarity there. I completely agree with you on the distinction between short & long term abs. I will ask RJ to read through this thread and let us know what she thinks of creating a new forum. Then I was thinking of contacting some members that might be interested but may not know about it - i.e. long termers who don't post much anymore. I think we'd have a lot to gain from them, you know?

Donna, thanks for sharing the wonderful post. I'm struck by your clarity too, and I think you're on the right track. So if it seems like a good time to try moderation, I wish you the best of luck, well, not luck, just do your thing girl! You know what I mean! You've come a long way and you know I'm rooting for you all the way, no matter your chosen path. I truly hope you are a success at getting back to being able to drink in a fun way, the way you once did. It won't seem quite right not to have you as part of the Abs group just because you're moderating... But you can always check in, and please do! And we can always check in on you too. I don't know, I just hope we'll always have you around... in the meantime, happy camping-prepping and shopping! Don't forget to bring the computer, or are you going lo-tech? lots of love! :d

Marcie, great going! All the best, always!

Lluf, Happy Day 16 to you!! Congratulations on a great job - I'm so impressed!

Take care all,
Deirdre

[Guest]

Day 11

I guess we were just posting at the same time Alison. Good, hope it works out w/ the Topa. Yes, you have a future! Isn't it great??!!

Deirdre

[Guest]

Day 11

Hey all,
Don't want to leave anyone out by mentioning posts, but all are very thought provoking today. It's so great to hear from Marcie again. And Donna, I miss you when you're gone too!

Matt, you sound like a wonderful person with great ideas. Congratulations on your success with MWO! Here's my personal feeling on an long-term Abs. board, (bear with me as express an opinion, new territory for me). This forum has naturally flowed into what I believe is supportive of long-term abs. At least several of us here probably plan on long-term absing. Of those who try moderating, some will be successful and some will become painfully aware that they cannot drink any amout safely.

For me, I want to see people be successful in moderation, but I really NEED to see those who are not. Does that make sense to anyone? I can't seem to explain this very well: but I'll try. Part of the reason I'm drawn to MWO is because of the freedom to drink. If I always want what I can't have, then maybe I won't want it so much if I CAN have it.

Basically, I have opted for long-term Matt. I know from previous posters that there are lots of us wanting that. Unless what you're thinking is that instead of monthly "events" we rename the board something that reflects a long-term committment. Physcologically if I hear Abs FOREVER, I start sabotaging myself subconciously. Don't ask me why:rolleyes I just need to know it's not the end of the world if I do drink. No big deal=I don't want to do it so much.

SOOOOOO I really massacred that subject, but I'll support any one going for long-term or short-term.

My 2 cents

[Guest]

Day 11

Wow! I'm just blown away by the depth of everyone's posts today....lots and lots of bravery here. I'm remembering Nancy's wonderful image of all of us having only one wing and needing each other to fly....seems like we've got enough wings here for all of us...
Night all--
:d
susan

[Guest]

Day 11

Hey stainers,

Day 35 out of 36 here. 35 smiley faces on the calendar! Thanks for all 35 of 'em yesterday, Deirdre... Ya made me laugh!

OMG... I've been sitting here reading and nodding... Nodding and reading... You all are something else... Thank you to each and every one of you for posting your thoughts and hearts. I hear you and I feel you...

Yk, it's really not so much a matter of moderating or abstaining as it is to be comfortable in your own skin and with a choice that works for you. Only you know which path WILL work for you... But ya gotta listen... REAAAALLLY listen to your heart and be true to yourself.

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately... I'm pretty confident that I'd be best off to continue abstinance for now. Deirdre really read my mail when she talked about not wanting to drink for the sake of enjoying the drink. My drinking palate is fairly unsophisticated. I couldn't tell the difference between a $10 wine or a $1,000 wine. So, why should I fret about missing out on the savory tastes available out there? I don't wanna a little sip now and then, to enhance a fine steak or lobster dinner... I never have. Pretty much I only drink to get drunk. And if I can't get enough to get drunk, why bother? I dunno why that is.... It just is.

Gonna scoot... Am veeeeeeeery tired from a buzy day.

HAPPY NOT HUNGOVER TUESDAY Y'ALL!

[Guest]

Day 11

Thanks Deirdre!! :d Back at ya!!

Donna

[Guest]

Day 11

Good morning to all,
Well, what can I say. I did not have a very good night last night. There was a huge argument at work with a co-worker. I will not bore you with the dirty little details. It was just really ugly. Then I came home and what do I do - I pour myself a double scotch - for relaxation. Of all the damned stupid things to do. It's like adding insult to injury. Consequently, this morning I have a headache and the problem at work has not been resolved. I am so angry at myself. It was also interesting how unforgiving my body reacted to this dose of alcohol after a week of abs. I woke up every other hour and this morning I have a VIOLENT headache. Ah sigh - back to the drawing board. The only good thing that happened yesteday was that I finally got my book and the CD's.
Let me limp away and nurse my head and my crumpled ego.
lori