Then in the run-up to last Christmas, I gradually started drinking again in moderation, a few times a week. As 2008 progressed, things spiraled progressively, and I was drinking almost as much as before (but not quite) - about 2/3 of a bottle of wine a night with occasional days off.
Well now it's September and I'm trying to go AF again, (now on day 2 of not drinking after a terrible drunken birthday bash which ended in chaos). I just wanted to express my thanks to all the people here for the help they inadvertently gave me last year. I've never been in group therapy or AA or anything, but the kindness I've seen expressed on these forums has been frequently very moving.
Deep down I'm a cynical person, but even my cynicism melts when I read some of the posts here from people who are obviously very kind and caring in ways that I don't often encounter on a day to day level.
Last year, someone on this site recommended a book called 'Dry' by Augusten Burroughs. This book really inspired me at the time and gave me strength, so I am reading it again and would recommend anyone else to read it whether they are trying to give up alcohol or not (it is a very funny but well written account of the author's spell in rehab and eventual sobriety). My other piece of advice would be that no matter how much you may crave a drink in the evening, to visualise the happier state you will feel when you wake up in the morning having slept without drink in your system. This personally gives me a sense of relief which I can't get from drinking, however difficult it is to sit through the nightly cravings.
When I was younger, I used to listen to a New Order song called 'True Faith', and the lyric was 'I never thought the day would come... my life would come to depend on the morning Sun'. At the time I thought it was a sad, desperate line, but now through experience I've come to realise it's actually positive, as waking up sober in the sunlight is actually a joy.
Again - I do not usually have a lot of time to write on forums like these, so can't say whether I will be writing again, but just wanted to express my gratitude to the people here who do take the time to post tips and support. I imagine that there are lots of people like me who don't post but draw strength from those that do.
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