Sobriety then Recovery?

[DogLvr]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Good luck Janice - I am back on too - have not been consistently AF - but ever since I made my 49/50 days back in May/June I haven't had a binge. But I know that I need to be AF - just for my health. Plus that was the gift I really wanted to give myself for turning 40 this year.

I'm on day 5 right now - and am shooting for the 30 day mark again.

Thanks for everyone's posts - definitely food for thought for me.
How do you go about finding a counselor - I'm nervous about using my health insurance - even though they are supposed to be confidential...never quite sure.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Hi Janice.

For me, it`s actually fear that keeps me on my toes and has kept me happily sober thus far. I am terrified at the very thought of losing my now happy life. I simply cannot afford to become in the least complacent.........no way in the world am I going back to my old drunken life if I can help it, and I thank God that the ball is in my court and I can choose to not drink.

It is not alright for me to ever think that perhaps I could have "just the one" or begin to wonder once more if I could possibly moderate.........in a nutshell, drink and I don`t mix, and when I look back.........drink was rotten company anyway.

My best to you,

Darling x

[tlrgs]

Sobriety then Recovery?

wishing you the best stay strong and think positive

[Guest]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Janice,
I was thinking about what I said here as I was driving today and wanted to add some more, if thats ok.

I dont want you to think that I was a total nutcase before I got sober!! I was in a professional job, I have family and friends and I can wax lyrical about what others should do in their lives. My drinking was secret. I had played around with getting counseling but never done it seriously. I was the master of disguise and excuses as my mechanism not to do what I needed to do. At the core of me was a deep unhappiness, but I hid it under a magnificent mask.

The difference was that about three years ago, I had had enough of it. The weight of the mask was getting unbearable and the loneliness of the task of maintaining the mask was killing me.

I know I did a lot of things to try to get to the bottom of my unhappiness, but the biggest thing I did was to stay honest.. so honest about I could NOT drink (NOT A DROP) and honest about the fact that I knew that if I did not address that unhappiness then I may as well just keep drinking - so not drinking was only one bit of it. I"m sure there are other ways to address deep unhappiness, but for me that actually going into it really helped (even though it terrified me) going into it did not kill me, sure it used energy (so I was glad I was eating well, meditating and exercising) and once through it I wondered why it took me so long to do it. Sure there were times I wanted to give up but I know what that dark hole feels like and I just knew I had to keep on climbing out even when it was hard.

I reckon when we are honest with ourselves we KNOW what we need to do. I also believe in that old saying about when the student is ready the teacher will appear (I hate saying things like this cos they sound to tacky, but you know what I mean).. so I would think that you sound ready and something or someone around you will say something that will help you.. or connect you to something that will help you.

I so want you to believe that you can get through this and it is worth the effort... and your way out will become clear to you... I"d like to bet that if you are still with yourself, you actually know a lot of what you need to do..

Best of luck
Brigid

[startingover]

Sobriety then Recovery?

A Work in Progress;420161 wrote: pm me if you want, StartingO, and maybe I can help. Did you check out the "Mindfulness In Plain English" book? It is a fantastic intro. Many times, if we feel that our efforts are "disastrous," it means that our expectations were out of whack (often we expect that meditation will quickly result in wonderful peaceful feelings, or that we should be able to make our thoughts stop).

wip

Thanks wipster, I think that this may be the next stage in my journey. I am now at the point where I think "what next?" I have stopped drinking and need to start dealing with myself now. I think that meditation will help. My mum has always meditated (and taught meditation) and done her best to get me started. I for some reason have always resisted. I know it helps so I dont know what my problem is?
Much of it is time. But then I spend hours and hours on here. Thats another worry for me, I worry that I am getting another addiction (here) everyone lives in my head and I wonder if that is entirely healthy?
But at least now I am questioning myself and looking at how I feel instead of just saying oh sod it and having a drink.

This is such a great thread, a real thought provoker I hope it keeps going.

[startingover]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Brigid, I can SO relate to so much of what you said there. It gives me inspiration to keep going knowing that my feelings are not so abnormal after all. Thank you!

[SAUSAGE]

Sobriety then Recovery?

I'm certainly no expert here (failed miserably after 108 day AF run and after a period of heavy drinking - 3months of 40-50 units a week) and am just on my second stretch of sobriety / abstinence - day 24 today. However I want to mention a point someone wrote to me on another thread a couple of weeks back which was that - for as long as you see not drinking alcohol as missing out on something you will continue to crave / struggle.

I feel to achieve true "recovery" you have to have a mind set such that you get your pleasure's in other ways / don't need it, therefore not missing out it's not the battle of willpower any more. Therefore to some people may not ever reach true "recovery" and will always have that inner battle, others may get there fairly quickly .I'm certainly not there yet, but I know i'm further forward in my mind at achieveing this than i was even on day 100 plus last time because this time my mind set is changing, and i'm less conflicted and happier with myself than I was a week ago even.

Sorry this is a bit rambling, I know what i'm trying to say in my own mind but not sure if others will get it - hope what i'm trying to say helps someone - Keep going!!

[Janice]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Thanks Sausage, no I understand completely what you're saying. Like Beck said its not about the drinking, its about living life more fully - so true!

Keep it coming - great replies!

Janicexxx

[retteacher]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Darling: Have you been back at MWO, & I just somehow missed you? Anyhow, it's great to see you back. Please keep sharing. I love reading your posts. There's a great daily thread here at 30 day abs. Lots of love, motivation, & encouragement. Mary

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Not meaning to hijack your thread, Janice.

Yes Mary........I`ve been back a while now. Thank you for your kind wishes........means a great deal to me, Mary.

I remember the old days when we more or less started out together. I felt very close to you back then..........you`re one very wise and compasionate woman. You`re one of a kind, Mary.........one of the best.

Take good care of you, Mary and.........I`ll see you around.

Much love,

Darling x

[retteacher]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Darling:

Many thanks for your kind words. I'll be looking forward to reading your posts. I joined MWO in April 07 & have had my ups & downs. However, I think the lightbulb has lit up for me (as Janice put it). AF is the only choice I have, because I've proven over & over to myself that I cannot drink properly. Mary

[retteacher]

Sobriety then Recovery?

Janice:

I've been thinking about the whole sobriety vs. recovery concept.

Sobriety: Absolutely necessary. I can't recover until I give up drinking. Give up drinking for good. So, sobriety is putting down that drink & facing life on life's terms. I can't pick & choose what I want to experience.

Recovery: Well, recovery means getting back what was lost. What did I lose w/all the drinking? My feelings, my truth, my intimacy in my relationships. What do I get when I recover?
1. I get to tell the people I love how I feel & what my truth is.
2. I get to let go of the things are not my business or are not important.
3. I get to accept life as it comes on a daily basis.

I don't have to aenesthesize myself any more. There is nothing in my future that is so difficult that I can't cope w/it.

Thank you dear Janice for bringing this up. I've been thinking about it before I fall asleep at night.

Love, Mary

[Janice]

Sobriety then Recovery?

You're welcome Mary.........but, thank YOU for your invaluable insight. love Janicexxx