I was soooo close to drinking yesterday. Thank goodness I didn't. I even signed on here to chat w/ some AF Army people and nobody was signed on :-( Everything was going good yesterday until my husband and I got in a huge fight. It triggered me soo bad that I thought I was going to say, "Screw It!" I decided I was going to go to the gym and get a good workout in. Then my best friend reminded me that the Presidential Debate was going to be on television. So I decided that, coupled with a bowl of popcorn and some soda would keep me occupied. Despite the fact that the wound up children wouldn't let me listen to the debate, it still kept me occupied long enough to get through the craving!!I've been on Campral for over a month now. How come I still have these craving episodes?
I loaned my best friend a folder full of tools that I received from my out-patient rehab back in 2005 (Wow was that already 3 years ago!). She sent it back to me in the mail a couple days ago. I'm hoping to refresh when it gets here. I know one thing from it that I need to start: a 50/50 letter. 50 positive reasons for not drinking & 50 negative reasons for drinking. The therapist said we would always carry it around with us and when we felt like drinking, take a look at it.
I had more user dreams last night. I was drinking red wine (my downfall) somewhere. I wanted more and was contemplating going to the store. I remembered that I promised myself no more drinking and driving, so I was thinking of other ways to get it.
Then I had a dream I was in this isolated cabin with some friends. Two of them brought some beer in their bag. I searched all through that house, hoping I would find some wine, but none to be found. Was really bummed in my dream.
My husband will be at work all day and all night, so that's a good thing. Kind of. Some of my drinking would take place when he was at work 'cause I knew he wouldn't know I was doing it. But at least without him here, I won't be dealing with the stress he sometimes puts on me.
I'm just thankful to have another day of sobriety under my belt and thankful that I have this website to listen to others who are going through the same thing. 12 Days!!!!
I loaned my best friend a folder full of tools that I received from my out-patient rehab back in 2005 (Wow was that already 3 years ago!). She sent it back to me in the mail a couple days ago. I'm hoping to refresh when it gets here. I know one thing from it that I need to start: a 50/50 letter. 50 positive reasons for not drinking & 50 negative reasons for drinking. The therapist said we would always carry it around with us and when we felt like drinking, take a look at it.
I had more user dreams last night. I was drinking red wine (my downfall) somewhere. I wanted more and was contemplating going to the store. I remembered that I promised myself no more drinking and driving, so I was thinking of other ways to get it.
Then I had a dream I was in this isolated cabin with some friends. Two of them brought some beer in their bag. I searched all through that house, hoping I would find some wine, but none to be found. Was really bummed in my dream.
My husband will be at work all day and all night, so that's a good thing. Kind of. Some of my drinking would take place when he was at work 'cause I knew he wouldn't know I was doing it. But at least without him here, I won't be dealing with the stress he sometimes puts on me.
I'm just thankful to have another day of sobriety under my belt and thankful that I have this website to listen to others who are going through the same thing. 12 Days!!!!
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