My focus has really changed. The first two weeks were the hardest. I was obsessed with the thought of "NOT" being able to drink. This made me want it more. It's kind of like being on a diet: The more you deprive yourself of those sweets, the more you want them. But if you wait it out, the body gets used to not having them. Same with alcohol. I recall my "stinkin' thinkin'" in regards to daily events in my life. I'd ask myself, "How do these other parents do it without drinking?" Pouring a glass of wine before I sit to play a game with the kids, pouring a BIG glass of wine before I sit down to watch television, setting the bottle next to me while I take care of things on the computer. Now, I don't even miss it. As my friend told me, you miss the escape from reality, not the alcohol itself. And then, what good is it escaping? That's only temporary. All you've done is post-poned dealing with your problems. And in some cases, you've just made your problems even worse. Bottom line: the next morning your problems are still there.
Well, I'm happy to be AF. And thanks to all of you at this website, I have my own version of AA classes right in the comfort of my own home. I might not post a whole bunch, but I sign on to this sight regularly throughout the day just to get some of the motivation you all provide. I love reading of other people's stories, struggles and joys. Thank you everyone for helping my on my journey.
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