Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

[retteacher]

A very quick check in here. I'll be back later. Mary

[retteacher]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

BTW: If you haven't shared in a while, please do. Don't worry about what's been going on. Remember, we're all in the same boat. Don't stay away...please. Mary

[on my way]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Well, today is day 60…if I counted correctly. I plan on renewing my vows, if you will, for another 60. Not a day goes by I don’t think about drinking, that bastard al will always have a little grip on me but it’s getting easier to deal with. Feeling clear headed and not overly tired is a very nice bonus!
Another crazy day in store, taking special needs son to the dentist....say a little prayer for us.

Blessings to you all, omw

[on my way]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Ditto on mary, we are all in the same boat.

[cassyyassy]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Hi all, its day 24 for me such an amazing journey. I am so happy to have made after all this time.
casey

[greeneyes]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

60 DAYS!!!! Good for you, OMW!!!!! :goodjob: Go have ice cream!

[Cinders]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Quick check in for me, too.

Doing fine. Eye is actually getting a little less blurry. Yay!!

OMW, 60 days is awesome.

I, too, think of AL every day. Somedays is gets tiring to fight it but it is so worth the fight.

Mary and all, please have a wonderful day.

Love,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Good morning all and WAY TO GO! to OMW!!

I am happy to say that I suppose I do think of alcohol every day, but it is not in a way that causes me trouble. No major impulses, desires to drink, cravings. Mostly I just reflect on how relieved I am to have it out of my life.

Needing to make other big life changes now, but also weighed down by a lot of life tedium! This is where the ODAT approach is pretty helpful to me. Just get a few things accomplished every day. The next day and its demands will arrive soon enough.

wip

[Determinator]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

happy Tuesday ABerooos!

congrats to OMW on 60 fantabulous days!! super!

it's interesting that I don't consciously think of al much at all most days but about every other night I have dreams involving al. interesting.

Cindi, so glad to hear you are doing ok!

Cassy big congrats on 24 and also big welcome to you!! looking forward to getting to know you.

I'm off to another few days on the road. Life in hotels is better sober at least. about 100 times better!
especially with so much driving involved.

Mary, AWIP, Greeneyes and any I missed and all to come: have a fabulous day!

[charlee]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Morning all
OMW...60 days!!!......Congratulations...
Casey, whoo hoo 24 days!!.....awesome....
I am resigned to the fact I too, will have AL thoughts on a daily basis. As I said yesterday, they are more of an irritant...not a desire, not a crave as WIP said just thoughts of what was....seems like yesterday, feels like forever!!!......No matter where you are in this process, day one or one year, we all share that common thread.....with committment and a positive mindset we can be winners!!!
Hope everyone has a great day.....

[readytotry]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

I need your help.

I have been asking my husband of 30 yrs. (a retired professional) to support my effort to completely stop drinking. He cannot go for more than a day or 2 without his red wine, bourbon, or scotch. He gets a good buzz, eats supper when he feels he's ready, and, in the meantime, DEMANDS my attention. Alcohol makes him 'wax poetic' on any subject on which he is the authority or the charmer or the center of attention. He is a kind person, but drinks and then starts a brag-a-thon and a monologue. All I can do is agree with him, because if I don't, he calls me a 'bubble-popper', or a bitch, or a no-sense-of-humor spoil sport. He thinks he's darling. And sex? None. Maybe I shouldn't go here. He'd kill me if he read this.
Should I get out the tape recorder and let him hear what a jackass he is? I can't go to AA....I hate group meetings.
I have told him that the 'cocktail hour' is toxic and that I am going to schedule some activities at night to avoid it.
I can't kick him when he's down now....his father is scheduled for serious surgery tomorrow to correct internal bleeding.
Oh, and get this. He hasn't been willing to be the designated driver in years and he had the nerve to say that he's going to ask his sister not to turn up stoned to our son's upcoming wedding.
I know my problems are minor compared to many here, but does anyone have any helpful suggestions? I might ask for marriage counseling. He won't go.....he thinks all this is MY problem.

[A Work in Progress]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Need, for starters I'd suggest that you will need to re-think some things... Doing what you need to do for your own health and sanity (making changes to your own behavior during "cocktail hour") is not in any way, shape, or form "kicking him when he is down." You aren't kicking him, at all!

Best wishes... difficult situation...

wip

[LVT25]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Hello all af-ers!

I've never posted here, but read a lot because it's an inspirational thread. I felt compelled to respond to ready's post. I started MWO in Febr/March. It's worked quite well for me. I quit smoking, and in order to be successful at that, the drinking had to go too, which was needed anyway. I will say, if I feel it's worth it, I'll have a couple of beers, but I DO NOT think about AL every day anymore.
Ready--my DH was my drinking buddy for many years. Then I realized I was drinking alone a lot, because he would work late or go to a meeting or whatever, and then we'd have a beer or two before bed. Now, he still works late sometimes (jobs around the farm) and drinks some beers, but I just do my thing. Most times I'm pretty good at "listening" to him when he's had too much, other times I manage to go to bed early and avoid it. I am fortunate, my dh supports my efforts, although at times I'm not sure he understands it, and at times he misses his old faithful drinking pal. There was some discussion on the boards awhile back about leading by example. I'm not counting on it, but I think in time my dh will cut down on his drinking, although I doubt he ever quits.
I would recommend the book "Co-dependent No More" Readytotry. We really need to focus on US--because we are the only person we can change. I think you will feel better physically and mentally. Hubby should notice. A lot of women I know live with husbands that drink too much. I used to think they were no fun. Now I'm one of them, and I really don't mind, I have my own healthy lifestyle to maintain. Hang in there!!

Have a great day all!:h

[retteacher]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

OMW: Congratulations on the 60 day mark! It is incredibly encouraging to see that you've reached your goal.

Thinking about AL daily: I'd have to say I do too. It's not continuous. Much of the thinking is gratitude that I'm not daily drinking the way I was pre-MWO. I really feel that my brain just has these grooves worn into that were caused my the daily drinking. It's going to take a while for those grooves to be smoothed out by a new way of living.

I'm volunteering in my grandson's Kindergarten class. It is incredibly rewarding...so, I'm off to school right now.

Mary

[retteacher]

Oct. 14 - Tues. Daily Thread

Readytotry: The book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is a good one as LVT25 suggested. If you keep the focus on yourself, your relationship will change (for the better). We have no more cocktail hours in our house. If your husb wants one, he can do it himself. As you change, he will too. As far as his personality is concerned: he probably can't be changed now. I try to mind my own business as much as possible. Take care, Mary