Monday Oct 20 daily
Good Monday All, great thread!
Well, I made it through my anniversary weekend and since the Topa is kicking in now (and actually making me feel kind of yucky), we had a wonderful dinner out, came home and didn't drink anything else. So yesterday we woke up, read the paper (no hang over!!!) and went HIKING with the dog (OMG, haven't done that in ages). What a WONDERFUL glimpse of things to come ... so I guess today is Day 2, though different than Days 2 past.
Mentally I feel good, hopeful, different than other times I've quit (for those of you who didn't read my thread from several days ago, this is the first time I've ever set a date to quit, which was Saturday night, hubby & my anniversary) though I'll remain vigilent. I am a bit worried about my blood pressure and am thinking it may be time to go confess to my Dr. about the Topa as I am overweight and already on BP meds. But I don't want to give up the Topa as I feel like I've turned a corner and I don't want to go back!!
Cinders posted "It is time for me to step up to the plate and address the issues that being sober has uncovered."
This is hard indeed. Somewhere (in one of the numerous books on addiction I've read) there was a discussion about how when a person drinks continuously from an early age (as I did) they are robbed of many of the experiences that create a mature adult. This means social situations as well as areas of responsibility, but I know for myself this is also true for my own identity. At 43 I still feel like a child at times ... not sure how to deal with certain situations, not sure how to act like a grown up (or dress like one!), not sure who I'm supposed to be, not sure what I want to be when I grow up. This stuff can become painfully apparent when I'm sober and make me want to retreat back into the fuzzy world of AL. Though, probably a lot has to do with who I am as a person and how I was raised as well.
Regarding therapy: I have been in and out of therapy since I was in high school (depression -- or melancholia as they used to so eloquently call it -- runs deep in my family tree) and I will say this to anyone seeking it: look at the person's credentials and have a "trial session" or several with them. Explain that you are doing so to make sure you have a fit in personality and style. Write down some notes before you start -- its best to go in with an idea of what you want to explore, but don't let this keep you from diverging. Above all, realize you don't have to believe or agree with everything they say. Don't get bogged down in the notion that they are an authority on you ... only you are an authority on you! And, you are paying them and if something doesn't feel right move on.
I've had several therapists that ended up being as needy as I was and made it hard for me to end the relationship, one who outright made fun of me (I always sensed an undercurrent of contempt there) and many who just sat there and let me drone on and on and never offered much input. My best therapy was with a person who challenged me, questioned me and made me stay on point.
Sorry to go on about this but there's lots of well meaning folks out there who choose that field because they want to help people, which is great, but many are just not very good at it ... so be careful. A person seeking therapy is vulnerable and gullible ... just don't want anyone to get hurt ... or waste time and money like I did. Funny I was just thinking about my experiences with therapy last night (at 3:00 when I was awake juggling 3 cats who wanted to sleep on me) and though I'm glad I did it I'm not sure I'd ever go back at this point.
Well, I should get going. I'm going to put our dining room back together now that its been painted and hang up some stuff on the walls (we've only lived in our house for 2.5 months). I want Hubby to be surprised when he gets home.
Hope everyone has a wonderful, beautiful, healthy and happy AF day.
Cheers,
Lisa
Good Monday All, great thread!
Well, I made it through my anniversary weekend and since the Topa is kicking in now (and actually making me feel kind of yucky), we had a wonderful dinner out, came home and didn't drink anything else. So yesterday we woke up, read the paper (no hang over!!!) and went HIKING with the dog (OMG, haven't done that in ages). What a WONDERFUL glimpse of things to come ... so I guess today is Day 2, though different than Days 2 past.
Mentally I feel good, hopeful, different than other times I've quit (for those of you who didn't read my thread from several days ago, this is the first time I've ever set a date to quit, which was Saturday night, hubby & my anniversary) though I'll remain vigilent. I am a bit worried about my blood pressure and am thinking it may be time to go confess to my Dr. about the Topa as I am overweight and already on BP meds. But I don't want to give up the Topa as I feel like I've turned a corner and I don't want to go back!!
Cinders posted "It is time for me to step up to the plate and address the issues that being sober has uncovered."
This is hard indeed. Somewhere (in one of the numerous books on addiction I've read) there was a discussion about how when a person drinks continuously from an early age (as I did) they are robbed of many of the experiences that create a mature adult. This means social situations as well as areas of responsibility, but I know for myself this is also true for my own identity. At 43 I still feel like a child at times ... not sure how to deal with certain situations, not sure how to act like a grown up (or dress like one!), not sure who I'm supposed to be, not sure what I want to be when I grow up. This stuff can become painfully apparent when I'm sober and make me want to retreat back into the fuzzy world of AL. Though, probably a lot has to do with who I am as a person and how I was raised as well.
Regarding therapy: I have been in and out of therapy since I was in high school (depression -- or melancholia as they used to so eloquently call it -- runs deep in my family tree) and I will say this to anyone seeking it: look at the person's credentials and have a "trial session" or several with them. Explain that you are doing so to make sure you have a fit in personality and style. Write down some notes before you start -- its best to go in with an idea of what you want to explore, but don't let this keep you from diverging. Above all, realize you don't have to believe or agree with everything they say. Don't get bogged down in the notion that they are an authority on you ... only you are an authority on you! And, you are paying them and if something doesn't feel right move on.
I've had several therapists that ended up being as needy as I was and made it hard for me to end the relationship, one who outright made fun of me (I always sensed an undercurrent of contempt there) and many who just sat there and let me drone on and on and never offered much input. My best therapy was with a person who challenged me, questioned me and made me stay on point.
Sorry to go on about this but there's lots of well meaning folks out there who choose that field because they want to help people, which is great, but many are just not very good at it ... so be careful. A person seeking therapy is vulnerable and gullible ... just don't want anyone to get hurt ... or waste time and money like I did. Funny I was just thinking about my experiences with therapy last night (at 3:00 when I was awake juggling 3 cats who wanted to sleep on me) and though I'm glad I did it I'm not sure I'd ever go back at this point.
Well, I should get going. I'm going to put our dining room back together now that its been painted and hang up some stuff on the walls (we've only lived in our house for 2.5 months). I want Hubby to be surprised when he gets home.
Hope everyone has a wonderful, beautiful, healthy and happy AF day.
Cheers,
Lisa
Comment