October 21 Tuesday daily

[on my way]

Good morning all,

I loved yesterday?s thread; it was full of a lot of good nutrition, if you will, very nice to say the least.

Something I have felt after a piece of time has passed; is there a phase two??? Should I be doing something more to facilitate my recovery and personal growth? Aside from getting my life in order, getting rid of person and emotional clutter is there something more? I am more interested in participating in life than before but the question is still out there.

So, what do you think??


omw

[A Work in Progress]

October 21 Tuesday daily

OMW that's my big question and dilemma right now, too. What next? I feel as if I have diverted my life when it was headed quickly downstream toward a waterfall, but I am now just sort of standing in place, not really going anywhere in particular. Life is often like that, of course, when we get immersed in the tasks of each day, and feel as if we are on an assembly line or something.

I am in the midst of something of a career crisis that has been going on for something close to a year, now; but my elderly mother's presence in my life has kept me tied to this location, geographically, and also has kept me deeply involved in her crises. And as to focusing a bit on me, there's been the whole business of getting myself free of alcohol! So, now: there's STAYING free of alcohol, and figuring out some plans for what to do with the rest of my life!

wip

[MormonMom]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Hello Peeps-
I guess I haven't gotten as far as some of you in the aspect of "What Next?". I just continue to go by each day as it comes. Yesterday I was in the biggest funk I've been in in quite some time. Luckily the thought of drinking never crossed my mind. Okay. I lied; it did cross my mind once or twice, but not the desire to give in to it. I didn't even want to turn to it. I'd like to say it's because I"m sober that I'm focusing more closely on my husband's negatives, but I do that with or without the wine. Sometimes I just get sick of feeling lik I'm a second class citizen; the hired help; the whipping post, etc. I'm sure many wives out there have gone through the same thing, especially if there are some of you out there that are, or have been stay at home moms. Sometimes I have to remind my husband that we're in the year 2008, not back in Leave It To Beaver 1950's La La Land. Anywho....
Last night was a big accomplishment for me. One of my favorite pass times while drinking, is redecorating the house, or just aspects of it. As I was doing my "daily chores", I began to get into the decorating mode:hanging a few pictures here, organizing shelves there, etc. It felt great. I have not had the desire to do that without drinking in I can't tell you how long. I felt as if I had reached a milestone. Well, that's all I got for this morning. Thanks for listenin' to my whining. Ya'll have a FANTASTIC day!

[retteacher]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Hi All:

I'm not sure what phase 2 is for me. Just stopping drinking & staying stopped is a challenge for me right now. I do feel a new sense of purpose about it, but I know that the daily work of not drinking will happen to me at some point.

I do try to set personal goals.
-the #1 priority, of course, is to stay long-term sober.
-living w/integrity & honesty (much, much easier when done in conjunction w/the above goal).
-reaching out to others.
-letting my loved ones live their own lives wo/interference from me.

I find that when I check in here to MWO, I can keep those goals in the forefront of my mind. They don't slip into the dark recesses, & therefore, I'm not as inclined to check out w/ drink. MWO is such a big part of my life at this point. I think I derive so much out of it, because I think I might be able to help someone else along the AF path.

I'm trying to trust in the universe enough to feel that everything that's happening is supposed to be happening. Take care everyone.

Mary

[on my way]

October 21 Tuesday daily

"-living w/integrity & honesty (much, much easier when done in conjunction w/the above goal)."

Well put Mary. That is a biggie for me. Being honest to myself and others about my feelings...part of the personal growth deal. Not an easy step for me.

[retteacher]

October 21 Tuesday daily

OMW:

I was raised to keep my feelings & opinions to myself. When I do that, it just fuels my drinking. Undoing the pattern of hiding feels like life-long work. I know I'll conquer it some day. The other challenge i have is feeling responsible for others: their actions & their feelings. That too can be a push into drinking. As I think about it now: The drinking was just the outward symptom of some of these areas of weakness that I have within myself. As I work on them, the need & desire to drink will fall away (hopefully). Mary

[caysea]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Hi All
I reached the point a couple of months ago of stooping drinking.Now it is a journey of living a sober life.I am looking outside mwo to other programs and taking what is helpful to me from them.One of the programs is smart recovery which has some interesting tools to help us stay sober.I also go on the AA site for info.It is helpful to hear from people who have been successful for some time and what they experience at different times.I also am trying to be more conscious of the reasons I drank and deal with them.I am enjoying life and my relationships so much more .It is a rediscovery of life and looking at who I am.My lifestyle change has enabled me to enjoy the physical activities that used to be such a big part of my life.Getting outside of myself and volunteering my time to help others has also been a very rewarding activity for me.Being sober has enabled me to do these things and I don't want to go back to the haze.I will continue to educate myself about being an alcoholic and how to keep it out of my life.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[on my way]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Mary, I think we grew up in households with similar philosophies. My parents are both about 80 and were professionals. I think their way to be strong was not show weaknesses. No wonder I am so emotionally constipated, repression stinks.

Cay, you?re reading me well, not sure where to put my energy or do I need to create something new and exciting?? OR is that just another attempt to fill a void? Hopefully growth will take care of it all.

[Determinator]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Top of the Tuesdays ABinators!

interesting things to ponder. Mary, I like the personal goal-setting. For me I am challenging myself to be social inspite of my new lifestyle and in spite of the fact that I find drinking establishments to be so repulsive now. I worry that if I don't push myself to be social I will end up somewhat of a recluse. er...even more than I currently am

be well

[spottydingo]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Mornin' All,

Its a cold one here in Northern California, feels truly autumnal. Kitties headed out early as usual only to come right back in, snuggle up in their various nooks and crannies and go to sleep!

on my way;447531 wrote: Something I have felt after a piece of time has passed; is there a phase two??? Should I be doing something more to facilitate my recovery and personal growth? Aside from getting my life in order, getting rid of person and emotional clutter is there something more? I am more interested in participating in life than before but the question is still out there.

OMW, I'm interested in what you're saying here ... I guess it just shows how different a journey it is for all of us. For myself, a huge reason to be AF is to follow the very deep need I've always had to express my creativity: I'm an artist of many stripes who has not been very prolific (I jokingly say I'm an artist who doesn't do art -- though I have a degree in it).

Its always been the path I knew I was supposed to take, and I have come to believe the source of my joy, power, spiritual growth and all that good stuff. But, I'm terrified by it and that terror fuels my drinking. Anyway, I'm at an age where I just can't ignore it anymore so its one of the huge reasons for me to quit drinking ... its like grabbing my destiny by the horns (wow that sounds melodramatic!!!).

So for me I guess the "second phase" is going to be actually doing work and putting it out there, which terrifies me even more ... the idea of being exposed to criticism by the whole world!!! My childhood is flashing before my eyes ...

So for you, it sounds like maybe you're looking for something to be passionate about? I don't know you so I can't make suggestions, but what do you like? What are you interested in? There's a whole world out there waiting for you! Are there community things you could get involved with? Do you have a local library? I often find if I get interested in one topic and start reading about it, it may lead me somewhere totally different ... so if that happens be open to it. One thing I've been doing lately is trying to be spontaneous. If an opportunity presents itself, I try to take advantage of it.

I hope I've been of some help. Forgive me if I'm completely off base. I tend to be a bit too verbose.

Cheers,
Lisa

[startingover]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Hi All, I hope you dont mind me chipping in here?
This is exactly where I am now. What next? I have done 3 months without drinking, I am happier than I have been for ages. My passion right now is recovery but I need something else. I have started to study but I am not sure that is going to do it for me yet. I need a lifestyle overhaul I think. It is scary and sometimes I just dont know where to start.

[LVT25]

October 21 Tuesday daily

I haven't been posting much lately, still not sure where I fit in I guess. I've been reading the abstinence thread more, and really enjoy the more in-depth "conversations" versus just socializing. Don't get me wrong, when I first started on MWO, I used it to occupy my mind and my body. Now, I feel I need this forum for different reasons. Something more deep, I guess. I try to pitch in to someone that needs help or advice and sometimes I cheer on those that reach milestones, but don't feel I have the time for the socializing here that includes alcohol. With that being said (and off my chest) I love the topic today and the input so far. It is interesting how "different" life is sober. After drinking for the last 30 some years off and on......wow. so far I guess I have just been kind of taking things as they come, and try to be more "aware". I am focusing more on my health/exercise/eating habits, because that is a huge part of what keeps me sober and off the cigarettes. This whole process started with me quitting my job last year to be a full time mom. Then I decided it was time to get serious about quitting smoking, which led to the realization that the drinking had to go too. Anyway, I think I've learned I wasn't a hard core alcoholic, which is a relief. I THINK I may be one of the lucky ones that can take it or leave it, because, I don't really care to drink anymore. The desire seemed to go away when I came to terms with the smoking issue. BUT, I continue to come here because I don't ever want to go back to every night drinking.
Now I feel like I'm rambling......
I guess my point was going to be, I'm fortunate because I'm not working all the time, so I have more time to do the volunteer work, be a bigger part of my family's life and work on becoming whoever/whatever it is I'm meant to be without the cloud of drinking/smoking and hangovers. But I will say that since I have started stepping out of my "comfort zone" and doing some things I would have NEVER done when I was drinking so much, I feel better about life. I hope this makes sense to someone. :H

[retteacher]

October 21 Tuesday daily

LVT: What you say makes perfect sense...especially the "stepping out of the comfort zone" part. I was incredibly isolated by my drinking...even though I'm rarely alone. By isolated I mean that I didn't take very many risks at all...even something as small as offering my opinion or making a new friend. As I've gotten sober, I have been taking some risks. It isn't easy. I'm not terribly comfortable w/change &/or risk, but I'm pushing through it. The feeling of accomplishment that I have from that is profound.

I hope you will visit this thread a little more often. We usually try to bring up some sort of topic related to our sobriety or just living life more fully.

Mary

[LVT25]

October 21 Tuesday daily

Thank you Mary, I will def be back!